Review my poem?

What a magical life to lead
Anticipation in each new step
With no outcome for her to heed
No facts to neither face up to nor accept

She flashes and flirts around all eve
To steal the heart, the soul and mind
The victims forlorn are made to believe
As she gets love and lust intertwined

Whilst forsaken, contentment but a dream
Sedation comes through narcotics to blur
Her surrendering wail and stifled scream
And the vile gaze she gives to the mirror

But she is not alone, its said there鈥檚 a flame
By her, he鈥檚 loved more than life itself
From her own mouth with a nose of cocaine
And cleaning last night鈥檚 shed blood of her shelf

Through posses of friends, nothing is wrong
Time is a doctor don鈥檛 hurry for aid
She can find her own cure through song
And so the once bright light begins to fade

A thought should be passed on perhaps someday
Through tulips scattered round the grave
But in this era we shan鈥檛 yet dismay
For now her life, magical, as she can behave

brilliant!

Thats quite good.

Very good. I am assuming "she" is Ms Winehouse?

This is a well crafted poem with some excellet word choices. What I find strange, however, is the use of rather old-fashioned terms like "whilst forsaken" and "we shan't yet dismay" in a poem with such a modern theme. I do like the lyric feel of this poem and your delicate use of rhyme that does not overwhelm.

Well done!

brilliant. i loved it. thers definitly a poet in u!

I have to agree with Susan that though the poem is very strong, there seems to be a bit of a disconnect between the language and the subject matter. People stopped saying "whilst" long before the advent of cocaine in popular culture.

Well, the rhyme is there, AABB, but the scansion, ugh.
The rhythm is not consistent.
Mind you it's better than some modern so called poetry.
Bernard B

"And the vile gaze she gives to the mirror"...mirror doesnt ryhme with Blur....and since you did the proper ryhming scheme throughout the poem you need to keep it up....try changing the work Mirror to "Sir" or Cure"...or something that goes with blur. But it is very good.

This is quite good but would be better if you ditched the old fashioned wording. We need to the language of today in our poetry not the language of the Victorian or Elizabethans.