I think im on the brink of anorexia?

Im 16 now. 3 years ago at camp i was sent back home because i stopped eating. Today, i have totally put a hault to it. It has been gradual. Everyday i look in the mirror and think,"look at that ugly chuck of lard, you fatty mc fat fat." but i have lost over 40 pounds in 3 months. I do the chew and spit routine. constantly chew gum, work out forever, and i routinely take laxatives. im only eating 200 calories a day, but am virtually in negative calores at the end of each day. none of my clothes are fitting and my eyes have sunken in. My hair and skin in so freaking dry that nothing will help it and i am constantly blacking out...today i couldnt even get up a flight of stairs. i have started to develop that hair on my body a little bit and i just cant seem to even think about eating a normal meal. im scared because i dont think i can stop, and i didnt ask for this....but i do not know what to do. also...i keep a thinspiration journal that aids in curing my food craving when i wake up in the morning

Has anyone at home noticed this at all? Your parents, your siblings, anyone at school? Your friends / your teachers? Has anyone noticed that you have lost too much weight?

Tell your mother / father right now that you need to see your doctor. This really is urgent and more than most of us can help you here. I wish you best of luck for full recovery and will be keeping you in my thoughts.

There's no brink. You've fallen off of it. Talk to a doctor or school counsellor immediately and get the help you need. Anorexia is not a joke, you can starve yourself to death or die from malnutrition.

Well, if you need to keep a "thinspiration" journal to keep you from not eating, then couldn't you just throw away the journal? (To begin with, I mean. I know that won't solve your problems. You need help too.)

This is anorexia pretty much. Please get some help. A doctor, phsycologist, anything. It's dangerous and chances are you were never fat to begin with. So for your own good get some help.

Just eat. You aren't fat. You are on a very unhealthy trend, and as much as I hate to say it, you are anorexic. What always helps me is to look at someone who really is fat, and compare it to myself. It helps. Eat something that tastes very good, and don't spit it out. Keep it in your body. Your body will thank you.. I know I probably sound cheesy, but I'm a bit younger than you, and I don't know how to put it. You are unhealthy right now. Not fat.