How do I get over HATING my father?

I am 18 and am in my second semester of college. I'm MISERABLE. I graduated with a high school GPA of 3.9 and my parents forced me to go to the community college where my sister went to school.

My father refused to give me any mail from other schools and scholarship letters.

ALSO, he refused to let me file for financial aid b/c he claimed

AND I wasn't allowed to get my driver license and am forced to have my mother take me back and forth to the school an hour away, b/c she works there. No I'm not a "bad " person or anything. My parents are religious and my father is sickly overprotective and thinks every person who goes away to live in dorms ends up doing drugs, having sex, and drinking their days away.

All in all I wish I wouldve just moved in with a relative and not went to college until my parents agreed to let me do what I wanted.

We got into a really big argument when he threatened me phsically and we see each other everyday but havent spoken for 1 yr.

ANd the reason for not filing for financial aid was "WE AKE TOO MUCH MONEY AND WON'T GET IT"

Ok then why am I in a communtiy college if they make so much money? You know?


But all my life I've been treated wrong and wasnt allowed to go to the movies with friends until like 16...or even sleep over until we stopped talking and my mom just let me do what i wanted.

Sometimes even though it is family you are better off not trying to reconnect. It sounds like you have been treated really wrong and I think you should steer clear of the past and work on becoming you. As hard as it is, I know youll be better off.

Well, you are an adult now. if your father is being so controlling, why not move out and go to the school you want to. apply for financial aid and get a job to pay your way through college. with a GPA that good i'm sure you could get scholarships too.

you should consider moving out on your own.

it'll be hard but it's better than being locked in a cage.

you're 18. you're legal. i say get out of that house.

Move out, start your own life and get out from under your father's thumb. See if you can move in with a relative who isn't so strict. You need to move on and do what's best for you - including getting your driver's license. That's going to be the first step.

You need to get out. Seriously. There's no reason why you have to live like this. Get everything in order - all your official documents, birth cert, social security card, etc.

Talk to your school counselor! They are there for situations like yours. Schedule an appointment with one immediately. They can help you arrange living quarters, etc.

Maybe this isnt the best advise....

but if he also is very mean to you, it means he's not doing it because he thinks it's good for you... But if he is, he's just a bit.... stupid

I think you should go to a therapist with him and talk it through... Your father IS being unfair... I'd hate him too

Anyways, good luck. It isn't your fault. He never listened to you, thus being a bad father. Seperate from him, get over it. Start a new life without him! but never forget that he's your father though. He might turn around someday ;)

and again, Good Luck! My best advise is too make the best of it! If you're desperate to make your father realize he's been wrong, go to a therapist. If that doesn't work out and he keeps (Physically) threatening you and ******* up your life, sue him. You deserve the money, love and care from your parents.

People should take care of their children ffs. Children aren't stupid animals who belong in cages because they can't take care of themselves. You're 18. You're probably a smart girl, you can make something of yourself, stay bright and keep your head clear, don't let your emotions overcome you :)

Good luck again xdxDxD

If you are 18 you have the right to as you please. You can choose to get a job and rely on yourself for school and a place to live. Or be controlled by your father and continue living with your parents.

community college is a smart alternative, especially for the first two years, there is nothing wrong with it at all...why are you stressing now anyways about it, theres like a month left of school.....if you hate it that much get a job,make money,save money,transfer, and do your own thing.

good luck.

What makes you think your parents have to pay for you? You could get a job and pay your own way thru. Move out if your 18 and then do what you want. If you live on your own you can qualify for financial aid. Get your license as you are old enough to be on your own now and move on.

Maybe when your father is ready you can seek family council.

Well try talking to him about your feelings and he might understand. If that dosnt work, try writing letters ranting all your feelings about him, but dont actually send it.

may be trying to protect you from his own wrong doings vilonce or the threat of vilonce is wrong

Sorry about your situation but fathers are like that I know, but he is really only thinking of your welfare try to wait as you grow older you will see the sense in his actions.

Ok you're father is pretty much phsychotic no offense but you have a good reason for hating him. See you are 18 so you don't HAVE to listen to your parents anymore unfortunately he doesn't seem like a very compassionate or understanding individual and if he threatened you physically that's standing on dangerous ground. I suggest you move out. It's really your only option at this point.

WHAT realigion are u and try to talk to him and tell him how u feel and he can trust u tell me ur religion waiting for response

Wow! Your parents(esp. Dad) sound like a real control freak!
Please don't treat your future hubby or kids that way! Best to you! ;-)=

You are 18 years old. Move out and do what you want to do.

I would be thankful that you have the opportunity to go to college. I would make the best of the education part, and leave the hating aside. If you don't want to speak with him, don't. Don't try to reconcile things now...wait until you graduate from college and get your own job. If he is still bearing down on you then, then I would see intervention from family members.

Best of luck and focus on the good things in live b/c I am sure there are some good things.

I had the same problem.I just think he didnt trust u.But all u have to do is write down how u feel about him and the things u luv about him and rip it up or burn it,so all ur troubles can go away.

Wow, I would say the best place to start is to begin praying for your parents everyday. And to pray that God changes your heart. You may not be the one in the wrong but they are your parents and you are to honor you mother and father. In time you will be on your own and will be able to do whatever you please.

Heal the relationship, you only get it once in life.

My parents tried to do that with me. I dropped out to work. Saved up and moved out. Then I put myself through college and I think I'm better for having done it my way. I have spoken to my family in over 5 years. Also, no one has to right to physically hurt you or even threaten it. Especially since you're 18. You're going to have to take a stand for what you think is right. They won't always be around to protect you. You have to grow up. And they have to let you. Either that or do what I did. Good luck.

you can only hate people that you love,hate is a feeling too.they send you to community colleague because they want to learn you something:think are not always the same and life is not always easy.i know something about it.now i am great full to my parents that they didn't make me useless spoiled child.

Don't blame your Dad honey, you are 18 and an adult. You could have filed for financial aid for yourslef alone, you could had a friend take you to get your license and applied to any school you wanted!!! Take responsibility for yourslef and stop blaming your parents for everything!!! You are on aN oh feel sorry for me trip, when you can change it all!!! You do not have to listen to your parents anymore now that you are an adult! That may include you getting your own place, but it's time anyway!!! If you don't like your life, CHANGE IT!!!!

if your father has not spoken to you in a year and you are 18 years old... I would get out of the house and get away from him.. his controlling issues are not normal.. you have the right to get a license and get a job... you are an adult now.. they s hould be proud of you ,,., not preventing you from doing better and getting out on your own...

Distance sounds like the best thing for you right now. You need to get out of that house, and move in with a relative.
I understand that your father can be strict and maybe even scary at times, but before you do anything, you really do need to talk everything over with him, face to face. If it helps, write down all your points (calmly) and why you think moving away would be a good idea. Tell him that you feel that you could do a lot better in your life and that he is holding you back. It's a hurtful thing to say, but it's worse to sit there and let this happen to you without trying to fix it.
Explain the situation to a relative you trust (this could include your mom) and ask to move in for the remainder of your time in college, or at least enough time to establish residency if you're going to leave the state (dorms are cheaper if you're a resident).
Above all else, you need to stand up to your dad. In doing that, and taking back control of your life, I think you'll get rid of your resentment toward him because you solved the problem. Good luck!

Okay... first please know... you are pretty typical.

Please know that at 18, you don't know as much as you think you do. When you look back at 18 from 25 you'll say OH MY GOD! when you look back at 25 from 40, you'll say OH MY GOD.

A father should never get to threatening you physically, which means... you are even more clueless than I thought. A child who is LISTENING and LEARING... from a parent, will never present a person who needs to be threatened.

Bottom line... your parents LOVE you... regardless if you don't get that or not. It's "on the ROM"... it's inborn... you can't HELP but love your kids... GOD KNOWS I'VE TRIED!

It would be easier if you didn't care....

Look, if your parents are doing something - they have a good reason. Things you may not even know. Are they over-protective? SURE... so what?

Here's a novell idea... when you're a parent YOU get to make the rules!

Another shocker... when your DAD is DEAD... THEN you can spend as long as you WANT separtated. What a waste of opportunity...

If you want to fix this... OWN YOUR PART OF IT...

Go to your dad... and tell him you get that you've been a BRAT... throw your arms around his neck and say... I'm going to look at this stuff BETTER.

You'd be surprised.

You must have REALLY MESSED up for him to have to threaten you physically... start by fixing THAT.

I mean it... when he's gone... and you figure it out THEN... it will be too late.

You are a adult now so get a job, go to finacial aid, transfer to a different college if u want. Ignore your crazy paranoid father. Also get your driver license that is most important.

you are 18 now. it is legal for you to do whatever you want. get a job and then move out coz they can't have you living they way they want. it's your life and you can do whatever you want with it. I think you have put up with them long enough.
do some research for other colleges and choose the one you want to go to.
yyou don't really need them anymore. you are capable of earning your own money and go to the college you want to!
they may not like what you are gonna do but it's your life and I'm sure they will understand that after some time.
It's a shame about you and your dad. talk to him and tell him what you want to do with your life and how you feel.

good luck!
xxxxxxxx

..i don't know what i would do if i were in your shoes..i mean..he basically destroyed your career..I'm not saying that a community college is bad, but with your gpa and stuff..you could have excelled a lot more, and you were probably eligible for a lot of financial aid..it's ashame he did that..

this actually makes me a little upset. I'm 17 and my family is fragmented as hell, so my parents would not dare try anything like that. You are 18, why do you need your parents permission..its not like you are doing bad things..you actually want to excel in life, and he is hindering you. I say you talk to someone..or basically, start taking action..He can't force you to go to a community college...you are 18...

I don't think you should listen to me completely, because I rarely ask my parents for anything. This summer, I applied to go to a summer program at West Point in New York, without my parents permission or consent. They didn't know I applied, they didn't know that I was accepted, but they do know that I'm going...Start acting independently, and responsible....it shows them that you are growing up, and that you don't need their protection as much.

You have the right to make your own decisions. You are technically an adult. However, I am not sure of the financial status, if your father is paying 100% of school, but he if he is paying you, he more than likely will have the upper hand, unless you move out on your own, apply for for financial aid/pelgrants and what not, and claim yourself as your own dependant. It seems they are a little overprotective, and it is hard to change parents who are like that. My parents are the same. I had to move out. I am not a bad person either. My parents just assume the negative though. What you need to do is move out. He will continue to be this way. Don't put off school because of him. You want to finish school so you can get done, and for real get out and get a job, so you don't have to live with your father and/or deal with your father about his rules.

try to remember the fact that if it wasnt for him you wouldnt be here

Sue your father. That's what I would do. If you explain everything you just said on here in court, you would win.