Im loosing myself, am i a lost cause? or can i be saved?

Hi,
My name is "Beauty" everyone has always called me that its not my real name but im afraid to reveal and yet so anxious to explain, im 20 years old and find myself in constant, constant thoughts of sexual escapades, relations and infatuation with any and every aspect of sex, ive read about addiction, had many with self medicating and alchohol abuse, at 19 ive been in and out of rehab.. the soul problems revolve around one major life altering addiction, SEX.. I used drugs to excuse my involvement, drank to have a reason and never really forget my mission.. Im sick, ive tried any and everything, ive lost real people who love me, ive lost pride, and confidence, as i said before i read any and everything to help myself, and maybe this is a last resort, because the outcome always ends the same, i go to read self help books and find my self more fascinated on the stories of trists and ways, exploring my own ways to mirror those ive read up on.. im afraid to admit it, in a social setting or to anyone im involved with, ive jokingly braught up the topic and laughed to find out people just say "oh your just a freak" as if it where a good thing, its becoming painful, im finding more and more ways to aid, and more sickining thoughts, i feel its becoming harmful, and yet i find the danger intoxicating.. i dont know why im saying all this, maybe its needed or maybe its going to cause more struggle.. this email will be another excuse, ill feel the embarrasment and use it to my advantage (technically my disadvantage) im self distructing, and this pain inside of me is turning me into a horrible happy person, i lie i cheat i push away great men because i know in the end im turning to the next for comfort, and it doesnt stop at just men.. I need help and im dying to find it.. please if theres any advice.. allow some of it to be given to me

im so young i just turned twenty and have been told im not a case, but i am, i know it i feel it and i believe i need the help, at my age no female should have done things ive done, or have thoughts of continuing, and find new ways to enjoy such humility.. Im at a last resort.. im going to loose someone who i cannot love because of this..

Too....much....to....read..... Can't....understand......question.......

I stopped reading after I kept reading "sex".

turn to jesus :)

I'm not sure exactly what all you have done, but it's obvious that it is bad enough that you are seeking help. First of all, nobody is a loss cause. I don't care what anybody says. I use to be the same way. I always had to have a man to make me feel good about myself. I would drink all the time, just so I could be a more sociable person. When I turned 17 years old, I ended up getting very hurt in more ways than one. Now, I am scarred for life and I feel that it is all my fault. I ended up turning my own life around, when I realized that I wasn't dead, yet. You are the only person who can change who you are. You can choose the type of person you want to be. I can tell you are very intelligent person. Now, look at your life. Do you want to be here in 10 or 20 years, or do you want better for yourself? You can over come this, but you have to want to do it. Nobody can do it for you. You just have to say that I am going to take my life back and everything will work out. I know from experience.