cant believe when im watchin t.v what I see
Everything on that s*** just lying to u and me
Using propaganda and exaggerating s***
Sellin weight loss pills that really make you fit
Listening to that s** will rot ya f** mind
And watching that s** is a waste of f** time
To broadcast that BS should be a f** crime
And I really don鈥檛 care what our dumb president thinks
Sending thousands across the world for oil
Wont help put fresh water in their sinks.
Im tired of flipping channels and on everyone is a reality show
The lack of self respect these people got for themselves when they lookin like a ho
Im tired of hearing on cnn cops beatin innocent ppl to death
Callin it self defense or callin it rap or theft
Just to hear 2 days later they got the wrong person
It was an accident
The more t.v they watch
The more they becoming dumb
Sittin open mouthed with drool drippin from they tounge
Eyes glued to the set
And they mind is numb
But for some reason the more stupid it gets
The more u idots clap
Sittin and encouraging BS
With that popcorn in ya lap
What happened to originality
I cant believe u ppl would dumb it down
And conform to that crap
Go out and play some sports
And improve ya mental and physical strength
Cuz sittin watchin and eatin garbage aint improving ya living length
How long before you let t.v take ova ya life?
U know its bad when u still be watchin after I stab u with a knife
How could u sit ther knowing Africans face poverty and aids
Children getting captured while their mothers getting rapped
For to break their backs minning for diamonds now
Blisters on their backs and their stomachs petruding now
And we sittin on our couch and we letting them starve and how?
Cuz we addicted to the drug t.v
Its got everyone hooked including me
Its created its own rejime
But we gotta start a contraband
And ruin the t.v companies plans
Rise up and destroy the man
Cuz its freedom and honesty we should all demand it has a chorus which is repeated 3x but is not included here
the chrous goes
everything i see on t.v just ruins me
i cant beileve the bs that i see
all they promote is conformity
i just wanna be free
to be me Wow, I can get a tan sitting next to you because THAT WAS HOT!!! not bad, but you need more original specific lyrics and ideas. keep workin and you'll get better.
listen to a variety of mc's and styles of rap from different areas. it'll inspire you and help you develop your own sound. I thought it was okay.
its nice how you're talking about things happening in this world todayy...
Stay tru in your rhymes. The most important thing is to be yourself!
Keep Trying
Good Luck:]
6/10 Thats actually really good. If you're a good rapper you could probably actually record that. your rhyme sceme is too simple. examples: see-me, sh*t-fit, mind-crime.
i think if you condensed it and excluded some of the weaker rhymes it would be much better. this song is nice and at least u have a message to do something very inspirational 鈾t! You suck..If you're going to make a rap song, make it have a meaning..but Rap is dead anyway so **** you. Wow, thats actually really great!
It makes me want to get involved! =) 8 3/10 6/10
like how you talk about politcal stuff instead of money. good job! Don't have time to read all of it but I did read about 25% of it. It's tight =) Not bad! 8/10....B-/B not good at all ur tryin to pull off an immortal technique kind of rap without the knowledge that he has... sorry but thats like a 2/10 if you're lucky Some good points but I rate it a two and a half out of five. good topic but weak lyrics 5/10 i think it is not bad
but it probably will get some people mad .... bad. keep your day job rap is crap pretty good
p.s dont let these people put u down keep tryin As far as actualy lyricism goes that was mediocre at best. It seems like all you were trying to do was rap about something important unlike most mainstream rappers, but just that doesn't make good lyrics. It actually has very little to do with lyricism. Here are some things to consider for the next rap you write...
multi syllabic rhymes- look at the words you rhymed. Almost every word was only one syllable. It's not difficult at all to come up with words that rhyme with one syllable words. It shows much more skill to rhyme multi syllabic words.
internal rhymes- you only rhyme one word per line. To add to the complexity of your writing try rhyming multiple words per line. Here's a nice example from a pretty old Eminem Song... "My acapella releases classic masterpieces through telekinesis/And eases you mentally, gently, sentimentally, instrumentally/With entity, dementedly meant to be Infinite"
use of metaphors and similes- a great way to show some cleverness is to use metaphors and similes. Sage Francis is very good with metaphors if you want to see some good examples.
create good imagery- you actually did do this with some lines and keep it up. Using good descriptive words to create vivid imagery for the listener or reader is always good. sorry, unfortunately, it was more about the rhyme than the content. The BS, SH**, FUC***, vocabulary is just cheap. Very tacky, but you could do better if you tried i guess. Just try being more realistic, use better vocabulary.
please answer my question:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;... ummm well itz good but u need 2 add sumthing like thiz......................
All this time, you've been mine, heaven-sent Valentine
And just like that, my life stopped on the dime
I can't stop cryin', inside I'm dyin'
I caught you red-handed, that's what I get for spyin'
But I've been suspicious, cuz you done caught me with some bitches
But you promised not to shoot me with the same triggers
You didn't know the new Benz I just bought you
Could be tracked by satellite, and that's how I caught you
Oh Baby why?
In the past I've been unfaithful
I can't believe it, I feel like, this ***** raped you
But you allowed it, you gave yourself to a coward
I'ma bury both of you, and STILL buy you flowers
Remember when
Our love would never end?
But now I am
Tastin' my own medicine
It's disturbin', it's sick, I keep thinkin' bout this ****
I wanna spit on your face, while you lie in a ditch
You forgave me, but I just can't forgive you
Cuz it ain't the same, I can't explain it, but it's true
It's way worse, I never felt pain like this
I can't take you back, you ******' nasty *** *****
You destroyed me, you ruined, everything I worked for
A house with an elevator, a spa on the third floor
I still love you, but never in my life will I touch you
You disgust me, your beautiful face became ugly
I just wish you was a dream, and that I could wake up
But it's real, so I keep, gettin' drunk, as ****
I'm home waitin' for you, you don't know that I know yet
You're probably gettin' ****** right now, sippin' some moet
I checked the address, it's some dude named Paul
Thirty-three years old, oh yeah, I checked it all
Probably met him at the mall, spendin' up my cash
G-string up your ***, wearin' tight *** pants
Oh my, look who just pulled up in her Benz?
Where you been at Girl?
Oh, doin' some errands?
Take your **** off!
Let me smell you, what you thinkin' bout?
I know where you've been!
Shut your muthafuckin' mouth!
Whose house is this?
And who the Hell is Paul?
What you mean this ain't a house?
This where you took the dog?
You mean....this the vetinarian's office?
You got the Parvo shots, for the puppy I just bought us?
It's some old man named Dr. Paul Seigel?
Here's the business card, in case I don't believe you?
Call him up right now?
Nah Baby that's okay
You know I trust you, I love you, that's all day
Why is my face red?
It looks like I've been cryin'?
Gangsta's don't cry
Baby, don't even try it i thought it was horrible
yay metal :) | 