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What do you think of this partial scene?


I hadn鈥檛 gotten very far, only a block or two from my house, when I tripped over something and found myself falling face first to the pavement. I instinctively put my hands in front of my face and tried to keep myself from sliding too far.

鈥淎re you okay?鈥?a handsome man peering down at me asked. He offered me his hand to help me up.

I hadn鈥檛 noticed but I was tangled up in a dog鈥檚 leash. The man was having trouble controlling his large dog while he fumbled to free me. I didn鈥檛 recognize the type of dog it was but it seemed to be very friendly. The dog was trying to escape from his owner so he could jump on me and lick my face.

鈥淵ou hold the dog still,鈥?I instructed, 鈥渁nd I鈥檒l get myself out of here.鈥?br> He put his hand on the dog鈥檚 collar and I sat up to untie the long collar from my ankles. The knot was pretty complicated. He must have accidently made it worse, I concluded.

Finally I was free and he again extended his hand to help me up. I took his hand and he was able to pull me up easily.

鈥淚鈥檓 so sorry,鈥?he kept repeating as he looked me up and down, looking for any cuts or scrapes. 鈥淢ax gets so hyper sometimes. He must really like you; he鈥檚 never reacted like that before鈥?Oh no鈥?your hand.鈥?br>
The mysterious man grabbed my right hand, turning it over. He blew on it gently trying to get off some of the dirt before I could snatch my hand back.

鈥淚鈥檓 fine,鈥?I asserted.

I pulled my hand out of his. I didn鈥檛 want to be rude but I didn鈥檛 know who this guy was. He could have unleashed his dog on me as a distraction to rob me. I quickly brushed the dirt off my pants and shirt while I tried to inconspicuously feel for my wallet, keys, and cell phone. Everything was still in my jeans pockets. I examined the scrapes on my palms. Nothing too bad, I would just need to clean them really good and put Neosporin on them when I got home.

鈥淟isten, I feel absolutely horrible,鈥?he began as he looked anxiously around the block. His expression perked up when he saw a drug store across the street.

鈥淲ait here would you?鈥?He thrust his dogs leash into my good hand, 鈥淚鈥檓 going to get you some band aids from the pharmacy.鈥?

I don鈥檛 know why he bothered to ask me because he darted across the street so suddenly he was almost hit by a car. If they hadn鈥檛 slammed on their breaks he would have been dead.

I was a little bit angry that he had left me stranded there. Not only did he allow his dog to practically jump all over me but now he wanted me to stand here in the middle of the block, babysitting his dog, while he wanted to get me a band-aid. A band-aid was not what I needed. I needed to be at home dressing my scrapes. I also needed to examine my knees. I couldn鈥檛 be sure but I thought they may be scraped as well; I could feel a sting growing the longer I stood there.

The dog stared up at me with big brown eyes as if to say he was sorry. My heart melted and I forgave him instantly. 鈥淵ou鈥檙e just such a cute little boy,鈥?I cooed even though this dog was huge, 鈥淗ow does your daddy know that I won鈥檛 take you home?鈥?br>
The strange man emerged with a bag full of items. He jogged back across the street to me, but this time he made sure to look both ways before he crossed the street.

鈥淒id you get some shopping done?鈥?I joked.

He took his dog鈥檚 leash and commanded Max to stay. He dropped the leash and I was surprised to see Max didn鈥檛 take off at the opportunity of freedom.

The man fished out a mini first-aid kit from the bottom of the bag and sliced open the safety seal with his keys.

鈥淢ay I have your hand?鈥?br>
鈥淭hat鈥檚 really not necessary,鈥?I protested, 鈥淚 just live鈥︹€?br>
鈥淢ay I have your hand, please?鈥?he interrupted.

This guy sure was pushy. There was something about him though that kept me there with him. I felt strangely drawn to this nice man and his dog. I no longer felt annoyed so I gave him my hand.

It's just a first draft.

For a first draft, it's pretty good. Just add a few more details and you'll be set! Good Luck :)

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