I'd realy like people's opinions on this, it also needs to be shortened by about 50 words but i don't know which bits to shorten. .
The study of Geography has intrigued me for many years, but it is recently that I have come to realise the importance of it in everyday life.
My upbringing and regular travels in Bulgaria was the initial spark for my geographical interest, as from an early age I have been curious by the contrasting lifestyles between the U.K, which is many years ahead in terms of development, compared to the poor regions of Eastern Europe, in transition from reliance on agriculture and dirty heavy industry. Bulgaria鈥檚 recent joining of the E.U. should bring it political and economic stability, but inevitably will also cause a clash between attitudes of the past the past and present, in a place where culture and tradition from hundreds of years is still going strong and plays an important role in the family unit.
Through my early experiences living in a country with immensely beautiful locations undisrupted by human activity, I have learnt that the planet is a big, closed system; disrupting the balance could have devastating effects to the whole cycle.
鈥淎 nation that destroys its soils destroys itself. Forests are the lungs of our land, purifying the air and giving fresh strength to our people."
Franklin Roosevelt
Coming from an ethnic minority, I have had to overcome language barriers, social and cultural differences but I have used it to my advantage; I have a flexible mind and can adapt quickly to new situations.
I am fluent in Bulgarian and semi-fluent in Spanish .I recently embarked on a school trip to Barcelona, in order to complete a survey, I had to use my vocabulary in Spanish to communicate with the local people, my ability to do this was important in the process of gathering required information, and my input benefited the whole group. The city of Barcelona presented a fascinating case study of urban growth and development; I especially took interest in the urban renewal schemes of El Raval, which was until recently one of the most densely populated urban areas in the world. For the coursework however, I chose the River Ribes in which I investigated into the flood risk of two different sites along the river, and the effect of it on people鈥檚 lives. This involved collecting data of the width and depth of the channel among other things, studying the data and using my mathematical knowledge to aid me in the use of different formulas, in order to find out certain characteristics of the channel such as the channel gradient. My self-motivation, strong self-drive, and enthusiasm in the task allowed me to be one of few with 100% mark on my coursework.
Reading fictional books has always been a favourite pastime of mine, and is important to me as it allows me to activate my imagination to it鈥檚 full extent as I participate in the mental task of following, understanding and predicting the plot of each unique composition.
Thus I picked English literature as one of my A-levels, enabling me to appreciate the differences in styles of writing and author鈥檚 techniques that I have found very influential in other aspects of my life. English literature has helped me practice my use of imaginative ideas, and analytical skills when studying any text whether fictional or non-fictional. I am also able to confidently and easily put my ideas to paper and have been told I have a unique and engaging writing style, interlinking new and original ideas effectively. I greatly enjoy challenges and the satisfaction they inevitably bring, for this reason I also chose maths. Though it being one of the more difficult A-level subjects, it suited me well and taught me many new and advanced mathematical ideas which also aided me in better understanding of statistics in geography.
My openness to new experiences is clear by the number of hobbies I have obtained in the past and have continued whenever possible; windsurfing, rock-climbing, skiing, hiking, camping, tombstoning, snowboarding, and playing the violin, keyboard and the guitar.
In 2004 I participated in work experience as a veterinary assistant, it was challenging at times but it allowed me understand the importance of commitment together with consistency, to achieve success in any area of life.
I have a wide range of interests but I am passionate about Geography, as it is a main part of my life and is consistent in everything we do. I perceive the study of geography as being vital in understanding how the world is altering in order to adapt to the strains of mankind. i did this late at night, don't be too harsh! It looks like you are off to a good start. I skimmed your paper and noticed that you have some spelling errors and subject/verb agreement problems. You shoul have your English teacher to look over it.
Happy NEW YEAR!!! First of all, your essay sounds more like you want to study geology rather than geography. I would check to make sure that you're gearing your essay to the right major.
Secondly, I really think you need to send a copy to a current English teacher and have him/her edit it for you. You have some major run on sentences and grammatical errors that should be cleared up before it's sent in. I think it would be best for you to show someone who knows you as they will better understand what you are trying to convey with your message.
Good luck! My son had to go through this same process. I know it can be overwhelming! Too wordy. Good writers know how to condense and simplify. Look for The Elements of Style by William Strunk.
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&safe=...
"whether fictional or non-fictional" change this to "whether fact or fiction".
"I am also able to confidently and easily put my ideas to paper and have been told I have a unique and engaging writing style, interlinking new and original ideas effectively."
This has too many AND connections along with techno-babble like "interlinking".
"Though it being one of the more difficult A-level subjects, it suited me well..." You need to know the difference between a sentence that reads, "The house was blown over by the wind" and "The wind blew the house down."
" I perceive the study of geography as being vital in understanding how the world is altering in order to adapt to the strains of mankind." Find an active voice that replaces the "as being vital" phrase.
Believe it or not, all they care about is spelling and punctuation. I would put a negative mark on the way you intermix lower case with capitalization on Geography.
By the way, what statistical ideas are used in geography? |
