When Christians teach abstinence to teens should safe sex practices also be discussed?

Some people think it's sending mixed messages when you teach abstinence and safe sex (condom use etc.) I'm not quite sure. I'm a Youth Pastor and when speaking to teens about abstinence I share with them my own experiences and talk to them about the spiritual, physical, and emotional consequences of sex before marriage. I don't encourage condom use but I do give facts about how condom use can put them at risk of STD's. Some teens still don't know or don't believe that they can get pregnant, get someone pregnant or contract an STD/AIDS. Should protection be encouraged for those who are sexually active or thinking about becoming sexually active etc? Would sharing this information be harmful or helpful?

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I am completely in favor of abstinence teaching only. I know that you are going to say, "teens are going to have sex anyway, and if they are they should learn about safe sex practices as well, to save themselves from STDs and unwanted pregnancies". And as a youth pastor , I am very surprised you would say teach about safe sex- and by the way, there is no safe sex- even with a condom, a the pill, etc a woman can still get pregnant. I know several that have, and a condom is not 100% safe to keep someone from getting a STD. I know this due to the fact that I counseled teens for over 10 years about this very issue.
My daughter is 15 and she knows that abstinence is the only sure way not to get diseases and pregnant. Please, being a youth pastor, stay with the Word of God. No matter what some people say, it is just as true today as it was years ago. Protection in sex, never protects the heart.
When we share the truth in love, we are not held accountable for what others do- but when we do not share the whole truth- then we are held accountable for what others do.
By the way, here is another woman who listened to abstinence truth- I was a virgin when I got married, and I would not have changed that for the world.

If you want lower abortion rates, then you need to educate on safer sex. Christians need to chose which is worse and work against the other realistically. You can't have it both ways.
I was always taught that abstinence is the best way BUT....I didn't end up shacked up at 15 so they did something right.

They should, but usually don't.

Sadly some of them are already sexually active, and it doesn't hurt to remind them to be responsible.

<<Abstinence has only failed in those who don't practice it. There are lots of kids who are maintaining their virginity and who want to wait until they're married. Showing us that it CAN be done. I agree that kids will rise to the level of expectations set for them. We as a society say that anything goes, so virginity goes...for some kids who buy into cultural messages>>

we have taught abstinence and that is that I hope and pray for the best . any thing else is a set up by the secular world

The Bush Administration spends about $200,000,000 annually on abstinence-only education despite the fact that THEIR own numbers show it is ineffective. Teens who take an abstinence pledge are just as likely to have contracted an STD as their counterparts who never took a pledge. Teaching abstinence simply creates ignorant people.

if you dont want people to have sex... cut "it" off...Until then... give them a condom, and tell them to be careful

I am a teen and I find it extremely sad that so many people have given up on us and said "oh they're just gonna have sex anyways so we might as well teach them safe sex." if we all did our job and prayed for my generation and generations below me I believe we could change things. teach abstinence. teach it will all you have. Lakita Garth is a great speaker on it. PLEASE don't give up on us. I haven't given up hope. And I wish that more adults would have hope as well.

Abstinence has failed over and over again. So I think it's better to talk about Safe sex rather than no sex. Sharing information is always helpful.

Don't do this, but if you do, here's how you do it. Mixed message? And, you wonder what's wrong with your kids.

should we then teach the kids the SAFE way to shoot up heroin???????????

OF COURSE NOT!

just because we expect the kids to not listen doesnt mean we hand them condoms and abortion pills....COME ON.

Does the younger generation also have a problem with

CHOICES=CONSEQUINCES????

YOU DO THE CRIME, YOU PAY THE TIME.....

Why would do that? Wouldn't that be defeating purpose for teaching it at all.


God loves you....God bless

Condom use does not put them at risk for STD's it help to prevent STD's, for the most part they are going to do it regardless and should be taught to use a condom and provided condoms.

abstinence means not doing it unless married... so safe sex is irrelevant...

I think that yes, it is important to teach abstinence, it is equally important to teach safe sex practices and it is extremely important for our teens to understand that NOTHING is 100% effective in protecting from STDs/AIDS or pregnancy. They need to have all the facts available to them. We need to put an emphasis on HOME education. We CANNOT continue to rely on the school systems to teach our children the values, morals, and practices we want them to follow. Good education always MUST begin at home. This is true for normal course work as well as sexual education. There are little things that can be taught (that are age appropriate) to children as young as 6 and 7 years old. As the child grows, the education must continue to remain consistent and age appropriate. This is the way I've been raising my children (granted, only one of them is over age 7 at this point) and I will continue to do so as they get older. I'm hoping this will help them understand the importance of safe sex practices.

Ultimately, that responsibility lies with parents. I don't think anyone should be bringing up such touchy subjects with other people's kids. Some people feel very strongly about telling their kids "their way in their time."

In addition to abstinence training, the horrid--and irreversible--consequences of STD's and early pregnancy should be emphasized to teens and in some cases even to pre-teens. That, and useful strategies for dealing effectively with peer pressure.

I think abstinence is the best, but I don't think that all teens will listen to that. I think abstinence should be taught first, telling of the dangers of pregnancy, stds/aids, etc. Emphasizing those things. But in the end, whether it is sending mixed messages or not, safe sex should be taught. Because not all teens are going to listen, or they will hear, but think that those things can't happen to them. Stress the idea of abstinence, but you still need to teach safe sex. I don't think it is encouraging them, because if they want to have sex, they will any way. And just in case they decide to, wouldn't you rather have them prepared, then to have them get in to trouble?

1. It is a mixed message.
2. It is ungodly in every way.
3. There is NO SUCH THING as safe sex outside of a marriage between two virgins who remain faithful to one another for a lifetime.
4. When you talk to teens about sex too much, guess what they do? They start having sex. They need to avoid exposure to it.

Condoms do not stop the spread of STD's or Aids. They only postpone the inevitable.

We don't have to teach kids about safe sex. They're getting that message practically from the womb these days. Unfortunately, it's a message built on lies.

According to the FDA, over the span of a year, for every 100 couples using condoms for birth control, 14 will be come pregnant. So if you and six of your friends use condoms as your method of birth control, one of your partners is going to become pregnant within a year. That doesn't say much for effectiveness.

The National Institute of Health says the evidence does not support condom use as an effective means of preventing genital herpes, HPV, chlamydia, syphilis, chancroid, and trichomonas. They may help prevent gonorrhea in men, but not in women.

Condom use decreases the risk of AIDS by about 85%. That's not very reassuring when we're talking about a disease that kills 100% of its victims.

Remember that viruses are smaller than sperm. Condoms are relatively transparent to many STD viruses, including HIV.

There's no such thing as safe sex unless it's kept inside a monogamous relationship. Otherwise, sex is a combination of Russian Roulette and playing the baby lottery. It's best left to responsible married adults, as it was intended.

teach abstinence. if that is your conviction, then that is all you need to talk about. youth know a hypocrite when they hear one...but don't forget to teach purity and it's importance in their Christian walk.

i was taught abstinence by people (parents) who cared for me. i was taught how to handle the situations and better yet, how to avoid the situations that could cause me to struggle or fall.

living proof that the lesson doesn't always fall on deaf ears!

The truth of the matter is that in all states where abstinance only education is taught, the teen pregnancy rate is HIGHER than in states where safe sex and abstinance are taught.

Abstinance only education doesn't just fail our society, it fails our kids.

All options should be discussed...

Honest statistics should be given and scare tactics should never be enployed...

Information is never harmful, withholding information and giving incorrect information is very harmful...

If you are going to talk to young people about sex get your facts straight before you start... Right now the information you are giving is skewed and therefore very harmful...

There's nothing wrong with putting forth an ideal (abstinence) but also including a back-up plan when the ideal isn't followed (safe[r] sex). In fact, back up plans are even found in the Bible.

In 1st Corinthians chapter 8, Paul deals with a number of subjects regarding marriage. He puts forth ideals for divorce, re-marriage, mixed-religion marriages, engagement, and even celibacy. His ideal regarding re-marriage (referring to widows and widowers), for example, is that it should not happen. But he also includes a back up plan: IF the widow or widower cannot control their passions it would be better for them to re-marry than risk fornication (especially because in ancient days that would probably involve pagan temple prostitutes, and thus idolatry).

All of this is to say, you aren't necessarily sending mixed messages by teaching both abstinence and safe sex. You're setting up the ideal, but also providing a way to lesson the dangers of pre-marital sex IF (more like WHEN) those you teach fail to live up to the ideal. After-all, we've all failed at living up to an ideal at some point, and it's important to know how to practice "damage control" so we can pick ourselves back up after a mistake.

You mean NOT using a condom can get you STDs and/or pregnant.

Condom use in itself does not increase the risk of STDs.

You can teach all the abstinence you want. However, proper use of contraceptives is more important.