Just spoke with the Divorce attorney today why am I so sad?? ?

I thought this would make me happy to finally start the process with all the crap he has put me through but I feel worst than before. I finally spoke to a pro-bono divorce attorney today from legal aid and they are moving a lot faster than I anticipated and I'm feeling very nervous, physically sick and unsure of what I have just done. I had to get my husbands number and address to give to them so he could be served and I felt a sense of betrayal, Why??? I don't understand the feelings that I'm having right now. I just wanted his help with childcare and to be a real father not act like he's doing me a favor by seeing our daughter when I need him to or just because I want him to spend time. It's been almost 8 months now since we separated and I'm just feeling ran down by this whole thing. I asked him last week if he wanted to work things out and he said that he cared about someone else so I left it alone. Then at the end of the week he asked me out to dinner and I said no. I mean why should I feel like going to dinner when you just told me you care about another women? I'm doing this because I dont think that we will ever be the same and the fact that he's not playing a real role as a father and I need him to man up pure and simple!! I loved him so much but I feel like my back is against a wall at this point. I just don't understand the pain I'm feeling right now. Any helpful info will help me at this point I have been crying at work all day and just feeling sick and I don't know why

He willingly gave up his address to me like it was nothing so I assume he doesn't care and this doesn't affect him in anyway. I just need some advice any will help. Thank You!

Girl, you are on the right track, no matter how bumpy the ride. You gotta realize that a divorce and separation are like a death...really, the death of loosing your best friend. No matter how badly they treated you, they were yours for a period and you loved that relationship. Now, when love does not love nobody, you gotta move on. Let your heart follow closely to the proceedings...let it go, let him go, if he does not want to have his child in his life, let that go too. No need in pushing a child on a parent who does not want to be with them. Your backing away will give him reason to wonder/ponder what's up with you as well. Let him sweat a while. Not hearing from you. You see, when you contact him, even to complain, they think 'Oh she needs me', 'She can't do nutin without me". Don't give him that power. Take it back. You do you and your child and leave him out of the family unit. Only, get that money honey.

Divorce is hard regardless of the reason you're doing it. It's just a hard thing to go through. Hang in there...you're doing the right thing :).

taking away the presence of someone doesn't take away the feelings

I think it is SO normal.. when i got divorced, I wanted to be divorced.. mine was an easy divorce, could have been over in 2 weeks.. but I stalled filing the papers for over a month... I have no idea why. I was the one that wanted out. Noone gets married expecting to get divorced.. I wanted out becuase my husband was very selfish & had no ambition for anything. He was a gump.. after 5 years, could take it anymore. I wanted to have children, but not with him. It is normal to feel so awful... keep going.. get it over with... cry, grieve.. you are losing something.. it is scary and SO sad. The sooner you get it over with the sooner you can move on with your life and find someone that is worth it. Good luck