I really need some help :(?

Im less then 2 months shy of being 19, and almost 6 months pregnant.
As soon as i found out, i knew abortion was not the answer, and that i would bring this child into the world. As i'm coming farther along, I'm just really starting to doubt my abilities to be a good enough mom. I have goals to go to college, and become an estheticien(I worked my whole highschool years off to get honours) and though I know i can do it with a child, its going to be hard. Hard to go to school, work, raise a baby, and balance a social life. But I'm so scared to put my baby up for adoption and regret it the rest of my life. No one has come out and said..oh you have to give this baby up for adoption..but all the time its..your too young..your life is over...you can't afford it. Obviously it's going to be hard, I know that. But it won't be that way forever! This baby knows my voice already, the sound of my heart beat..If I were to give it up for adoption, it's going to know its not with its real mom is it not?
I don't know im just really confused.
I guess im looking for any kind of advice...maybe some websites or somewhere i can go for information. I live in Ontario, Canada. And IF(and that's a big IF) i decided to look more into this..i would want to be able to choose where my baby goes..but what I've heard so far is that children's aid, or an adoption agency will choose a family that THEY believe is most suitable, is this true?

Please, no rude comments.

Wow. . This is a tough one. I am 17 and 38 weeks pregnant. Alot in my life has changed. My whole pregnancy i've been finishing high school. I UNDERSTAND where you are at and THEN SOME. . If you really want to put the baby up for adoption, you have all the choices in your court. You can pick the parents/family, you can pick if you want updates or be in your child's life still or if you want a closed adoption where all communication is cut off. You can chose it all. BUT you can't know, right now, whether this choice will change your life. When you go through the birth you may be so attached to this little boy or girl, that you can't possibly imagine letting him or her go. Or you could know FOR SURE, this is what you have to do. Either way, you have picked birth over abortion, and if you give them up for adoption, there are so many people these days who can't have children, so your act would be greatly appreciated. Do what you feel is right though. Talk to an adoption counselor, it's what they're here for, and tell them you're considering it but not sure how you'll feel after the birth? If there are some families you can look at (it's like a brochure book i hear) and if, when you give birth, you still want to give em up, call the adoption lady and within the hour, i'm sure the family will be there. Just let yourself think though. Of course people are telling you it'llbe hard. BUT those people who are saying that, aren;'t in your shoes. Or even if they were, it's your choice and life is hard, and short. If you take the easy way out because of OTHER people telling you to, you WILL regret it. I can tell you that. But if you know in your heart, you cannot provide for this baby, despite it being a part of you, then you will know, it;s what you had to do. So good luck and if you ever need to talk, email me.

I can't really give much advice on whether or not to place your baby for adoption. I can tell you that you have the right to choose the family for your child. If you're working with an agency that won't let you do that, SWITCH agencies! One place you can go to look at potential adoptive parents who've been approved to adopt already is www.parentprofiles.com

Your situation is not a new one. Buck Up!! Lot's of women are able to balance successful school, business and social life's and still raise their children. Just do your best and put your child's needs first!
You sound smart - I have no doubt you will be great!

The only way to figure this out is to call an adoption agency yourself. A lot of times they'll let you meet the parents who want to adopt your baby. Good luck!

join the military,,signing bonus plus gi bill at end of four years

i don't think you should put the baby up for adoption because that would be hurtful for both of you.

hmm i dunno you could get a babysitter to help you along

Call Birthright 1-800-550-4900 or there website birthright.org God Bless

try to put him as a foster child

You can do it. My boyfriend's mom got pregnant and had a baby at 19, and was not with the father long after. She is now married with a total of 6 kids and is totally happy. She went to college and completed her Master's Degree. If she could do this 20+ years ago, you can sure as hell do it now! Of course, I hope you have the support of your family to help you through this because it won't be easy. You won't regret having your baby, no one ever does! Good luck, and stay strong!!

What is your family's situation? Do you have support/ help of parents, siblings? Your choice affects them as well, if you have a tight family.

They might be able to assist you while you work towards your goals. Education & establishing a decent career is crucial for future stablilty of your family.

You need to do what will be best for the child. Even if that means adoption. Do not punish the child out of your own greed.

There are open adoptions that can be negotiated. You would give up your parenting control, but may retain some visitations, and maintain comunication with the adoptive parents to keep informed.

You can have say on where your child goes. The more involvement you have in the process, the better you may feel. The less you may worry.

Speaking from my own experience, I did what I had to do, to keep my daughter. I moved in with my grandmother, worked 2 jobs, went to school part time. The struggle was hard, and times had been tough, but she's now 15, and I dont regret a moment Ive spent with her.

First off I want to praise you for not even thinking about abortion!!

I can give you some encouraging thoughts though...
I had my first child when I was 19..... now I am 25 with my fourth on the way...I am a full time student and make deicent grades. It's hard (but I also have three right now) Eveytime I look at those children they brighten my whole life. I carry a photo of them in my school folder so that I know why I am back in school! I am not going to school to make my life better anymore, I'm doing it to make theirs better! I have a wonderful husband (who isn't the biological father of the first two, but hardly anyone knows) As long as you have family who is willing to help you a little them you will be fine!

Always remember that God wouldn't bring you to it if he wasn't willing to bring you through it!

My life has been hard at times.... but never because of my children

You will know as soon as you look that baby in the eye that it is the best thing that has ever happened to you!

and when all else fails... just pray about it!!

Good Luck and God Bless~~

No I do believe that YOU get to choose who the new parents would be as long as they are suitable. I'm 19 years old too and I can't even imagine me being pregnant since I'm already in college and very proud of it too. You need to follow your dreams and if your dreams was not to have a kid then you should really give the baby to a family who really want/need a baby. If you do decide to keep the baby, I believe that you will struggle with taking care of the baby, going to school, and work. It is a big handful, but I have seen people do it. Its all up to you. If you want that baby to have all the love and attention it needs, then what I would do is give the baby up for adoption. I can imagine the guilt and sadness of it, but you HAVE to think of the baby. What is better for the kid, full attention and love or part time love and attention? It will be very hard at first with both decisions, but you will get over it in time.

You can do open adoptions in the US so that's an option!

I think you should do what's in your heart. I have two different friends who had children in their teens. They both kept their babies... but I think one of them should have adopted out. She is too selfish to be a mother. If you keep the child, there will be sacrifices on your part. HUGE ones. You need do decide if you are willing to make those sacrifices for your baby. Good luck sweetie!

...................?
sorry i cant help ... itz ur decision!

It's YOUR baby and you can give it to anyone you want. Well, I actually don't know what the law is in Canada. If you are healthy, people will fight each other to get your baby. You should be able to choose the family. I have several friends who were adopted as infants. They are all adults now. None of them remembers their birth mothers and they all love their adoptive families. They're all married with their own families now.

Well.. I have done both, adoption and parented. Adoption, was a great option for my first child. I got to choose the family, meet with them, and I get updates every month with pictures. He looks very happy and I know that he is very loved. Now, as a parent of a 2month old and in my second year of college, it is tough! There is no social life. My life revolves around baby and babies needs first, school, work, cleaning and cooking, taking care of my fiance, and then me.. dead last. It is a very hard balance, and while it is rewarding, it has definately been a tough road especially since I do not take government assistance. The agency I went through for the adoption was Bethany Christian Services and they are great. If that is the route you chose, you are a brave woman as well, your baby will always know its loved and it will be provided for and be given to a family that it would be a dream come true. If you need to talk, add and email me . Good luck <3

I think you sound very concerned and love life, I think you would make a great mom. Adoption would be fine, but honestly i think you're ready. And a baby doesn't ruin your life, don't let anyone tell you it will. You'll have some hard times but will get through it together.

And you can have an open adoption where you pick the family and can keep in contact, I'm pretty sure. Look for a Christian adoption agency if you do, they really work with you and put your feelings first.

Edit: Why do i get a thumbs down? I was being helpful...

I think every first time mom feels insecure in their abilities (about motherhood). Its very normal to have doubts. I don't think you should make any decisions about adoption until after he or she is born. Its hard to do all those things with children, but not impossible. Just from reading your post, I think you will be a great mom and do whats in the best interest of your baby. Dont stress, just wait it out.

First of all, I think you're very brave to go on with your pregnancy. A baby IS indeed a lot of work-I have two so I know. I also know that there're a lot of single moms out there who can make it work. Life will be indeed very hard for the first few years. I think what you need to consider is the following:
-Do you have a job to go to-that will support you and your baby?
-Do you have a support system?-AKA parents/relatives/friends who'll be willing to babysit while you go to college, work etc?

Look adoption is not a bad choice, but you have to be sure-well as sure as you'll ever be.. that you're giving your baby a good life. As far as your voice goes, your baby will grow up just fine with adoptive parents, he will know he's adopted but he will be loved

OK I did some checking on the laws here in Ontario-Im from Ontario too :) Here's what I found.. you can talk to a Social Worker from Children's Aid and talk about your options-you could still decide to keep your baby afterwards-

As for Children's Aid there's Public and Private Adoption here are the links:
http://www.gov.on.ca/children/english/pr...

http://www.gov.on.ca/children/english/pr...


Also I think there's something called Subdizied Child Care but I think there's a waiting list.. not sure and it depends where you live I could find more If I knew whereabouts you live-region at least...

In any case, I wish you the best of luck, feel free to email me if you want more info.
Take care

Do not give it up. You will regret it forever. I have a son and he is the best thing that ever happened to me. We struggled when he was born, but we pulled through. It will be hard at times, but that is what will the times even more special and memeroable. What ever you decide, I wish the best of luck to you in your decision!!

Hi, I can't advise on adoption, but I did have a similar situation and I can give general advice.
My first year of college, my girlfriend got pregnant and we decided to get married because it was the 'right thing to do.' She initially said abortion and I said adoption. I ended up dropping out of school because I thought it was all over and I'd never have time for anything. We kept him and then we split up after he was a year and a half old.
I am very very happy we kept him, he's been the best thing in the world. I've had absolutely no trouble having fun, friends, dating or finding time to accomplish things. We each have him half the time and I am about to finish my masters degree in physics. It really isn't the end of life as you know it and the fact that you're thinking ahead, looking for answers, and seem to be caring so much about being a good mom tells me you're going to be a just fine mom. I had doubts about myself but as far as I know, and from what people say, I'm not an awful dad.
Good luck, don't let worry/fear hold you back, you'll do fine. Whatever you do, just make sure you're happy with it.

Aw, I'm sorry. Please, don't give it up for adoption, especially since you think you'll regret it. If I were you, I'd go to college, work, and raise a baby. Don't worry too much about your social life, when you'll graduate and find yourself a good job, that's when life will get smoother. Ask for some help from your parents, maybe they'll babysit your child when you will be busy studying, working, or something of that nature. Be strong. Hope I helped. Good luck!

So your two options Adoption or keep it while in school..

Adoption:
If you do decide to put him/her up for adoption make sure it goes to a couple who desperately wants a child and will give it the best life possible. but make sure to keep it a closed adoption, seeing him/her later in life would certainly make you regret your decision and when you have children later in life he/she may be upset because you gave him/her away.

Keep it:
By the way you are talking about it, it seems you already love your baby. Even if you are going to be completely stressed out with school, your baby will cheer you up because you will love her like none other. And when he/she gets older you will have no guilt because you are going to do everything possible to give your baby the best life ever.

This is a very hard decision and I feel for you.
Do you have support?? Will your family be able to help you? How much help will you get from the government in the way of benefits? This I think is the breaking point of the decisions you are making.
I won't lie, its hard raising a baby and expensive. I am married and living on 1 and a half salaries and we are struggling a bit.
Its also the most amazing thing, watching this little thing grow, get a personality, thrive.
Its a hard slog, even more so if you are on your own, but its full of rewards and you not the first person to do it. Believe me you will be a good mother even if you can't see it now. You will amaze yourself every day.

My advice is talk to your friends/family and others who have done this. Make a decision and think no regrets. Either way you go there will be days where you wonder why the hell you went down this path.

Do what is best for the baby. I don't know how the adoption process is Canada works but I am sure you can call the agencies and they will be able to talk you through what happens. I believe that if you do decide to adopt out now you can change your mind later.

Having thought I would have to adopt I know you will make a couple very very happy. I also have admiration for people who can make this very hard decision.

I can't tell you what to so, but I can wish you the best of luck.

I don't have any personal experience here, but I hope that I can still give you some advice.
I would confide in my mom, or another older woman that you trust and care about, and you know she cares about you. Even if you are unsure, she will have experience and will be able to help you.
I would not give the baby up for adoption, especially if you are unsure. You will end up regretting it and mourn for the daughter or son you never got to know. My friend is adopted, and when we were talking about the one person we would like to meet in the world, she said, "My mom." Keep this story in mind while you make your decision.
Do whatever you can. Do not be too proud to ask for help. If you do everything you can, you will know that you are doing your best, and that will have to be enough.
Remember that this isn't a decision you have to make tomorrow or today. You have three months. Relax, take a deep breath. If you put in enough thought and know what will work, you can make the decision for yourself.

Hope that helps!

Best of luck.

-Heather

let me tell you, im 25, my sis is 19 and we both just had babies and thought maybe life was over BUT it's not true. honestly, you'll have more fulfillment going in your life and moms can do stuff for themselves too. life isn't over. you'll just have to work around having a baby in the mix and rearrange ur schedule a little bit! it will be ok!