Does a disabled child deserve to be abandoned or spared their life?

A close male friend of mine disclosed to me some chilling information. He is currently a teacher鈥檚 aid who work with special needs children. In a conversation with him, he explained how heartbreaking it is to see children having to go through such trouble in life and empathized with parents who were 鈥渟tuck鈥?with such a burden. He then said that if he ever knocked someone up and found out their kid was going to be severely retarded (for lack of a better word), that he would force his baby鈥檚 mother to abort, one way or another. And if that didn鈥檛 work, he would kill the child and then kill himself. He then cleaned up his comment and said he would definitely not be there for his child and would not provide child support because what good is a retard to society (his comments)?

I am disturbed by his comments. He鈥檚 a man who works with children and a man who has a narcissistic idea of what a father is. His dream is to have a son to carry on his family name, who will take care of him when he鈥檚 older. I suppose most men want that in some way. But to think that anyone would abandon their disabled child or worse, kill them is appalling. What are your thoughts?

This man should not be working with disabled children. He should be reported.

This man has no idea the joy a child with profound disabilities can bring to your life and the quality of life they and their family can have together. I have raised a child from infancy with profound disabilities that no one expected to have any quality of life at all. His life is the envy of most who know him. His cousin on the other hand who was born with no disabilities, lives with me now because her quality of life with her family was abysmal as they could not deal with her acquired disabilities. She is struggling now with the feeling of being rejected by people who are supposed to accept her unconditionally.

All children can have lives of value filled with love if their parents are able to give it to them. A man like your friend should never have a child, because giving birth to a nondisabled child offers you no guarantees that they will never acquire a disability.

Suggest to your friend he get a vasectomy - he should parent no one.

I'm pro-choice for the first trimester, but killing a child just because they're mentally retarded is horrible. It's one thing if they have a degenerative terminal disease which would be extremely painful, but just because they don't have a high IQ or are otherwise disabled? I believe that's what the Nazi's believed in.

What if the child was very badly brain damaged,
and could do nothing for its self, and was in pain.
Do you not think it would be cruel, to go ahead with the pregnancy.

I think it depends on the disabilities, a baby with no arms or legs and blind would make think twice as what to do.

I would advise you to not keep sociopaths as friends.

the man is immature and if he actually thinks that way then he needs to be sterilized

i am very disturbed. and at loss for words

That's jacked up. Sickening. I can't get behind that at all... I know how tough it is to have family members who will never function on a normal level and will always need lots of your care and time and attention, and yes, I would prefer that my kids not be mentally disabled and would probably push my partner to abort if they were found to be in the womb (sorry if that offends anyone but... well no actually I'm not sorry)... but there's no way in hell I could kill them or abandon them once they were here, that's just sick.

Wow, that is HARSH! Okay fast forward when I'm an old person (like 20 or something), and say I get pregnent and find out the child will have a mental illness, I would give birth anyway. But I'd teach the child and look for a cure. I'd send him to public school but seek extra help for him/her outside of school. Because the kids at my school always tease about kids with disibility (I used to and follow along with it sometimes, I'm not disabled).

hoping and wishing said it all ...Thomas my twin son is 10 and has severe autism he is also non verbal and still in diapers/nappies and he is one of the most calm and happy delightful of children, he doesn't have a care in the world at all, and i just hate the word retarded it so isn't true and someone who works with children with special needs should have more respect for 'special' children, i didn't know my twin son was going to be born with autism even if i did he is 'Our' child and our life as his twin sister is, People like this whom have this attitude should be ashamed

What a disgusting attitude this person has, and I am perplexed as to why is he working as a teachers aid, he has no right to work with any child disabled or not. And his comments should be reported to the principal or head teacher.

He has no pride in himself or his job, and his attitude proves it, and I would be horrified if he was working with my child. I very much doubt he is qualified as he would know that people with intellectual problems can and do achieve much in life.

Your friend can not or has not seen the potential of what people with physical and or intellectual disabilities can achieve.

I would hope that any woman dating/married or living with him knows that he has this sick opinion of children with disabilities and his potential of harm to any child they may have with a disability. And if he was to find his pregnant partner was carrying a child with a disability I doubt he could force her to have an abortion, even if he tried using legal means.

I wonder how he would cope, if he was to have a healthy baby, but it later contracted a disease/illness or injury, that left it with serious mental and physical disabilities, would he have the same sick thoughts? If he is so quick to abandon a child with disabilities one has to wonder would he stick around for any child he might father?


I have worked with people with disabilities (child & adult) for over 10 years, and often closely with their parents & family, who love their child/sibling/adult unconditionally, and they would not intentionally harm their them.

Yes they will tell you it is hard work, working 24/7 a week year after year, they will also tell they are exhausted, some times frustrated etc, but they would not want to kill/maim them in anyway or place them into permanent care, because the person is their flesh and blood.

I love my work, it is so rewarding, I love it when a client smiles or squeal with delight as I walk in the door, or a child runs to give me a hug for helping them achieve something they have been working on, or the laughter when they see something funny, some of these people have the wickedest sense of humour. What I love the best is watching them graduate from school, finding employment, even finding a home of their own, and managing to run it their own, with little or no support.

The down side is it is heart breaking at times, especially when they are ill/injured or having a seizure, but these are out weighed by the good times.

This man strikes me as suffering from a serious disability himself, without even realising it. He is twisted and deformed in his attitude. He shouldn't be working with children, especially children with special needs. So he wants a son to carry on his family name and look after him? Supposing he were to have a son and he himself became disabled either physically and mentally? If his son took after him in his twisted attitude, he wouldn't want to be lumbered with a disabled parent. Maybe he's got it coming to him!

Well to me it sounds like he's not ready to have a kid period. Even a normal kid may have trouble living up to his high expectations. I'm not against a mother who aborts a child with special needs such as the possibility for Down's Syndrome but if a mother does have a special needs child, they should be able to receive help from a therapist or personal assistant on how to deal with the child better. And of course the father should get this assistance too.

as a person with a physical disability, and a sister to a Downs Syndrome boy I find this horrible. It was a shock to me to find out about eugenics as well. This concept was responsible for mass genocide in Germany (hitler stuff) but also for forced birth control for many considered "inferior" here in America. It is chilling to think that there are some who think that I should not only NOT have children (I have 2) but not exist. Or that my sweet brother who brings joy into the home shouldn't have been.
While there are many burdens for parents and children with disabilities there are also many joys. And no one can say that Stephen Hawking, Helen Keller, Ludwig van Beethoven, Franklin Roosevelt and others contributed nothing to society.
I would say that that man should not be working and caring with those that he thinks should be dead. My brother is working in a group home with severely disabled adults and is loving it. He is learning from them and enjoying being able to help and serve them as well as basking in their simple expressions of love. When he got one man to smile and laugh it made his week!

OH MAN I almost forgot one of the best examples! Nick Vujicic!!! You can find him on YouTube, like this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yo_24_qTN...

Is it up to the parent to decide for the child if their life is worth living? Shouldnt the child have any say? Look at what this man has done with his life and how many people are changed because of him!

This man is HEARTLESS!!!
You would think that if he works with disabled kids that he would know better than anyone how special they really are. Mentally disabled kids are the happiest kids in the world. They don't care about money, they are hardly ever mad (and if they are it's only for a very short time), and they want to learn and experience life.
My brother has Downs Syndrome, and I will admit that it was probably easier for my dad to raise my brother than it was for my dad to raise me. My brother loves sports (watching and playing), he loves toy cars, and he loves wrestling on TV. He is the easiest person to entertain and the sweetest boy in the world!!
That teacher needs to be FIRED because he is obviously in the wrong profession.

I HATE people like him and he's lucky I wasn't standing there listening to him talk like this and be so ignorant.

It says everything about making HIMSELF feel better and has nothing to do with the "poor kids".

This man needs to find another career.

Sadly, he's not the only idiot on the planet. My exhusband used to say, and I quote, "Retarded people have it made because they know they can just say anything they want and they'll get away with it just because they are retarded."

I have two words for this man f and u oh and maybe throw in a bastard. What sickens me is he works with them. Tell the teacher in confidence. Tell the Nazi I hope God "burdens" him with a child like that- his wife calls CPS or gets out. I would personally run over his *** if it got around to me that he said that as I use a power wheelchair because of a moderate to severe disability. Then after running him over I would have my friends hold him down while I personally shoved pills down his throat so he would choke or OD whichever came first- since he himself said that he would rather die than be disabled.

your friend has a point this may seem cruel but think about the child's future. I have personally seen what happens to them and its appalling ,they always get abused by the public and taking advantage of by the DAMN PUBLIC its cruel for some to live on life.They live there life in blissful ignorance and i feel guilty just seeing them suffer like that.most who answered are women who really haven't seen what happens to them,there motherly instinct takes over.

P.S
I have a strong fatherly instinct