1.Clean your gun.
2.Go shopping at your local whole foods store, visit your local coffeehouse, etc. All the liberals will be busy. No lines!!!
3.Go slap McCain-Palin stickers over all the Obama '08 bumperstickers. People will be too busy listening to the Obamamessiah...and the cops just won't care.
4.Go hang the ten commandments back up in schools. Nobody will be there to stop you.
5.If you're glaring white, take a walk through Compton. It may be the only time you can ever do so unnoticed.
6.Have angry sex.
7.Watch all those old Tivos of Robot Chicken.
8.Read the Constitution. Kiss those of your rights Obama deems unnecessary goodbye.
9.Go outside, stand in the middle of the road, fart as loud as you want to. Nobody will hear you. If they do, they will assume it's the windbag blathering on their TV sets.
10.Make a list of all the third world countries the $170,000,000 being spent on this dog and pony show inauguration ceremony could feed.
11.If you live in California or one of the other states not getting a tax return, frame your last one, hang it on the wall. You won't be seeing another one anytime soon.
12.Reserve the right to be pissed off that you are not getting a dime while $170,000,000 is being spent on that egoist. What about spreading the wealth around?
13.Look up info on the Presidents who decided to forego huge ceremonial inaugurations because their country was at war or facing hard times. Take a look at what true patriots look like.
14.Go to the movie theater and watch Gran Turino. Hell, watch anything.
15.Drink some Kool-aid...just make sure it's not government-issue.
16.Write a nice 'Thank You' note to Bush for keeping your fat, lazy *** safe for eight years.
17.Take Ann Coulter out on a date. She's probably not doing anything.
18.Go to church and pray the rosary...one bead for every dollar spent on this ridiculous party.
19.Burn your old Bruce Springsteen albums, tapes, and CDs. Have a neighborhood bonfire. Invite your neighbors to bring their Dixie Chicks and Green Day.
20.Begin planning your million woman march. A woman has never been president...so women are now the truly oppressed.
21.Watch the Kenya video over and over again while wishing Obama would have stayed there.
22.Play 'Botox the bimbo' with Katie Couric's photo on your dartboard. To make the game more realistic, throw actual needles.
23.Go to Washington, put a bucket under Jesse Jackson's chin. Collect the tears to replenish dried riverbeds in Africa.
24.Make it a drinking game. Every time the newscasters covering the event or Obama use the word 'change' - take a drink. By the end, you won't care if it's Obama or Al Franken taking the oath of office.
25.Go decorate NARAL offices with 'Jesus Loves You' signs.
26.Go put 'Obama: The Inauguration' coffee table photo book on order at the bookstores before it's even made (because you know it WILL be made). Put all the copies on Ebay, watch the 'CHANGE!' zombies swarm.
27.Make some money from misfortune. Sell Obama t-shirts.
28.Watch the 'Yes We Can' video in slo-mo and see if you can see Scarlett Johansson's nipples.
29.Play the 'Yes We Can' song backwards and look for the subliminal messages. They've got to be there somewhere.
30.Draft your resignation letter to your boss. Soon we will be a socialist regime. Why work harder? Work smarter. That means being lazier, damn you.
31.Prank call McCain's office and tell him there was a mistake with the vote count and he needs to prepare to fly to Washington, immediately.
32.Buy stock in Kleenex...because there will be a lot of people crying at the inauguration...and a lot of people crying when 'change' robs them blind.
33.Hook up hydraulic power lines to Reagan's grave...because he's going to be turning in it the next 4-8 years, might as well let him power Los Angeles.
34.Start writing protest songs and songs of oppression. Dream of the moment when you can get up on stage and say, "I'm embarrassed Obama came from Hawaii...or Chicago...or Kenya...or wherever the hell he came from!" while on stage in France.
35.Drive to Hollywood and reenact the 'Where did everybody go?' Arby's commercial in the vacant streets.
36.Sneak into a bookstore and switch the jackets of The Audacity of Hope with those of Ann Coulter's Godless. Take the copies of Godless covered with Audacity of Hope jackets and sell them at the inauguration. More senseless profiteering, but a hell of a lot more fun!
37.Go hunting Caribou from a helicopter.
38.Visit the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and actually give a damn, instead of doing things for show.
39.Catch your flight to leave the country for the next four years.
40.Upgrade to a high definition television so you can have the satisfaction of counting Joe Biden's hair plugs.
41.Actually go to work, unlike all the whackjobs calling in to watch the inauguration.
42.Send Hillary Clinton a sympathy wreath.
43. Hmm... yes..yes.. i could do that.. lolz x lol i love it even though im a 'change zombie' |
