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Please read my fin aid appeal letter and critique...?

First, I would like to thank you for reading my letter today. I am writing to submit an appeal for the decision to suspend financial aid towards my education. I understand why my financial aid has been put under probation, and I cannot denounce any information that was submitted to the financial aid department regarding my class withdrawal during the Spring semester of 2008.
The pre-calculus class I signed up for upon starting my first year at The University of North Carolina at Greensboro turned out to be more than I could handle, despite my great ambitions to succeed academically. I was on the verge of turning twenty six years old, anxious to fast forward my college career, and determined to take on mentally challenging courses to prove myself an academic competitor.
The beginning of the course was a breeze, and I absorbed all of the first few weeks of lessons with great ease. As the semester progressed, the course quickly became more challenging, and among my job鈥檚 workload and another class I was also taking- as well as personal stresses with my then fianc茅- I started to feel the pressure to not only keep up with class but to actually retain what I was learning. I soon realized I was in over my head, as I had never taken such a high level class, as well as being an online class. It was not a good feeling.
Still, I was determined to finish what I started. I only had two classes this semester and I knew I 鈥渟hould not鈥?go below the 50% mark. So I had to choose: dilute a perfect 4.0 GPA I was unsure I would receive from my English class (the other class I was taking, which I did actually get an A in), or run the chance of losing my financial aid. I was unaware at the time that, as a freshman, I could have withstood a 1.75 GPA until the next semester, when I could have chosen more suitable classes for myself to excel in.
I had never been on probation before for financial aid and I figured the assumed 4.0 in English would suffice. I was under-informed and it was my own ignorance with not asking more financial aid questions, or the right questions, that caused this entire mess. I assumed too many facts, and was truly in the dark. Most importantly, I was completely in over my head with the class I foolishly chose. I don鈥檛 ever want to be in the situation where I cannot under any circumstance catch up in a reasonable manner again.
I cannot point any fingers at the advisors who gave me other options, and I was unsure about the major I would choose during class registration. I cannot go back to the day I chose the class in the first place, however I can make a proactive decision to choose more wisely in the future and research the courses I will take. I do not believe I should- or will- take the pre-calculus class again. Not only is this because I have chosen an arts and sciences major that would not need the class, but also because I have learned that I have academic limitations. In the future, I realize now that I will need to take greater strides to understand the material I will be learning even before I choose certain courses and majors. The UNCG motto is 鈥淜now Thyself鈥? and I learned how true this instruction can apply to real life this past year. I know myself much better since I have made this mistake. I鈥檝e learned that I need to think before I bite off more than I can chew.
I would like to continue studying at your school in order to accomplish these goals, and with a second chance for permission for financial aid, I know I can and will. Thank you very much for your time and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

I don't think you should mention the part about your fiance, they may not care about personal troubles. They probably just want to know what will be different now and why you deserve to get it back.

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