Who wants to help me in celebrating the "true meaning" of Christmas?

Well, it's getting to that time of the year again, and there's all these serious faced folk going round saying that we have all forgotten the true meaning of Christmas. I thought I knew what Christmas was all about - sprogg born in barn to "virgin" turns out to be son of God etc.

However, to be sure, I did a little research and thought the best thing was to find information about the first Christmas - surely that one had to give rise to this elusive true meaning...

It was not long until I happened across a vaguely familiar Christmas carol which informs us that the first Noel...."was to frighten poor shepherds in fields where they lay..."

Consequently, I shall be spending Christmas day in Wales, scaring the shite out of shepherds - which sounds like a lot more fun than watching the queen's speech and yelling into grannies hearing aid etc.

So what I want to know is, how do you scare shepherds - are there any special Christmassy techniques, or will the usual stuff work?

Hmm...interesting plan. I hope you've made some sort of contingency plan for the fact that all the Welsh shepherds will be watching the queen's speech and yelling into their grannies hearing aids while you are lying in the field.

Nut i

The orginal start of christmass was just to sellibrate the longest day of the year and various spiritual sugnifigances to this.

the shepherds at the first Xmas were scared by the majesty of the angelic host, an orchestra and choir of angels celebrating the birth of the son of god,

do you think you can re-create that ?

ps. very few shepherds sleep outdoors these days ("where they lay")

The lyrics you have are incorrect. The correct lyrics are:

"The First Noel, the Angels did say
Was to certain poor shepherds in fields as they lay"

Certain - not frighten.

Wolfs aren't to popular with shepherds, even less popular with sheep.

My oh My!.... Can I spend Christmas with you? You are completely bonkers! HEE HEE HEE
By the way you know why Welsh shepherds wear wellies don't you ?

Your flippin'funny. No really, I chuckled. I do think that God is funnier than hell. I think that because I believe that the end of the Church age may come in the baby BOOM generation. The generation of Rock-n-Roll and heavy metal. So arm yourselves with doctrine and get in the battle. One not won on a field but lost in our minds. Ya "sick, twisted, Freak" (TO quote Glenn Beck.

no tips sorry
but well done on the research and let us know how it gets on!

SEASONAL GREETINGS!!!
Subject: Chavtivity Story
There's this bird, right, called Mary, yeah? She's a vurgin (wossat then?)
She aint married or nuffink, but she got this boyfriend, Joe, innit?
He does joinery an' that. Mary lives wiv him in a crib dahn Nazaref.
One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like `Oo ya lookin at? 'Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.' Mary's totally gobsmacked. She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!'
So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself.
Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an' that.
She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that, we is gonna get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you is right'
Mary an' Joe ain't got no cashe, so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop, yeah?
To av her bay-bee an' that.
But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an' enter this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep an' that.
Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their heads n evryfing. They're like `Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they is the wise men from the East End.
Joe goes: 'If ur so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an' murr ? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?' It's all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another message from this Lord geezer.
He's like 'The police is comin an' they is killin all the bay-bees. You better nash off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged it you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey'
Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.' So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-borns an' it's safe an' that.
Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns water into Stella.

Tell them there sheep have AIDS and they need to be tested immediately that'll frighten the **** outta them

I think for me the true meaning of christmas is is being with my family, lots of love, and lots of yummy food lol

From a traditionalist view, appearing as the Angel Gabriel and directing them towards the newborn Messiah works a charm.

Alternatively, you could just steal their sheep.

Lol... Im with you mate