Topical Research paper on hypospadias! What do you think of my intro! Be Honest!!?

The abnormal development of the penis that leaves the urethral meatus proximal to its normal glandular position anywhere along the penile shaft, scrotum, or perineum is a condition known as Hypospadias. This condition is a congenital abnormality that occurs during fetal development when the urethra does not grow the entire length of the penis. This is a common disorder occurring in every one out of two-hundred and fifty male births with varying degrees of severity. Hypospadias appears in many forms. The urethral opening can be anywhere from the tip of the penis to the scrotum and sometimes as far back as the anus. However, the majority of the cases occurs near the head of the penis and is often an idiopathic condition. The etiology and enzyme impairment of the males aid in the diagnosis of what exactly goes wrong in the developmental process that causes a result in Hypospadias. There are also environmental and genetic factors that researchers have recently discovered to have an impact on the developmental outcomes of Hypospadias. There are several risk factors that contribute to this condition that include maternal age and eating habits, paternal abnormalities of the penis, low birth and placental weight, and natural chemicals.

I need to clarify a thesis! If this is the intro. you have any ideas?

Thank you soo much!!

I think you're doing good!

From that part, the paper sounds like an informative report to me, so I would hazard to say that you don't need a thesis. Thesises (apparently it's not thesi?) are only really needed when you're presenting and defending an argument.

"Why Should Your Essay Contain A Thesis Statement?

* to test your ideas by distilling them into a sentence or two
* to better organize and develop your argument
* to provide your reader with a 鈥済uide鈥?to your argument"

Maybe you should open with something that eludes to what you'll be covering and not just jumping into talking about the condition. "Tens of individuals a year are born with Hypospadias: a rare, embarrassing, and mildly comical disorder with multiple treatment options, several of which involve painful, invasive, and traumatizing use of Broadway musicals and sporks." etc. etc.

You might also want to try shortening your sentences; kick out unnecessary words. Otherwise I'm out of ideas. It looks great to me.