Is this a good 11th grade level conculsion for a research paper?

For a glimpse of that this will do for the future, the HGP has actually inspired the Department of Energy (DOE) to start the Microbial Genome Program. This program sequences bacteria that may aid in energy production, environmental remediation, and toxic waste reduction {鈥淧otential Benefits of Human genome Project Research鈥潁. Also, because doctors will be able to diagnose and treat diseases with more precision 鈥渁s soon as the year 2100, people may be living 150-200 years,鈥?because of improved health care {Boon, 104}. In addition, people will be living longer and thus the population will grow causing us to preserve natural resources {Boon, 104}. So even though there are issues especially in the topics of ethic, society, and legality, the benefits and future events are well worth the controversy.

This statement seems out of place ---->In addition, people will be living longer and thus the population will grow causing us to preserve natural resources {Boon, 104}.

If you have made your reader believe this in the body of your paper, include a couple of more statements in the conclusion to support your view.

Well, I think it's pretty good.

You must tell us your title of paper and what you are concluding.

Compare to this:

For an idea of what this will do for the future, the HGP inspired the Department of Energy (DOE) to start the Microbial Genome Program. This program sequences bacteria that may aid in energy production, environmental remediation, and toxic waste reduction {鈥淧otential Benefits of Human genome Project Research鈥潁. Also, because doctors will be able to diagnose and treat diseases with more precision 鈥渁s soon as the year 2100, people may be living 150-200 years.鈥?{Boon, 104}. (In addition, people will be living longer and thus the population will grow, causing us to preserve natural resources) {Boon, 104}<<<HOW IS THIS GOOD? SOUNDS BAD TO ME>. So even though there are questions in the areas of ethics, society, and legality, the benefits and future events are well worth the research.

poor grammar, otherwise I give it a B-, C+.

i think i need what your really talking about for a better review but it looks really good. :)

i though it was good and i liked it. good job!
=)

hey you did better than I didn't on my debate paper for 11th grade...I never got the sources and the citation crap...

Yeh pretty good answer as it stands, but don't know what the question was

i think you did very good on your conclusion.

You are real smart and good in your work very good job.

BIG words! let me come back........... ok! it was really good! but im n 7th grade so i wouldnt kno

I think its really good, I like it.

maybe use some more transition words like "all in all" or "in conclusion", but other than that, it's pretty well written (in my opinion)

You need to use parentheses instead of brackets. In addition, I usually tell my students to stay away from documentation in the conclusion. It is supposed to wrap up your paper, not continue to prove your argument. I assume the word "that" in the first sentence is supposed to be "what." Your last sentence is awkwardly phrased.

Grammer and run-on sentences are a big problem. A conclusion should let the reader tell what the question was. Other then that, I thought it was pretty good! Well done!

Instead of perenthosees, use commas. It is better english.

For a glimpse of 'what' this will do for the future 'of our world and society,' the Human Genome Projest (HGP) has actually inspired the Department of Energy (DOE) to start the Microbial Genome Program (MGP). This program sequences bacteria that may aid in energy production, environmental remediation, and toxic waste reduction.
Potentials of the HGP research are also that doctors will be able to diagnose and treat diseases with more precision as soon as the year 2100. People may be living 150 to 200 years because of improved conditions such as better health care, conservation of our natural resources or dependence there on, and a stronger wiser society in dedication to the control/reduction and disposal of toxic waste ("because of improved haelth care, Boon 104). Eventhough there are issues especially in the topics of environmental, social/medical, and legal ethics, the benefits and future expectation/events are well worth the controversy...

I began by indicating a need for editing the rough draft in parenthesis (typos). I ponted out that the title of a subject must be completely introduced plus thier corresponding (Anagrams?) before the reference to an anagram.
Second I attempted to restructure your very same ideas in a slightly different form.
Thirdly, I am of the opinion that your closing is great and thusly my desire to see the rest of your paper. You have the drive necessary to be successful in any type of investigation and presentation in literal written form.
Check out Fungusbrain's composition, it also looks good. Jose