Proofread please?

can you help me make this flow better?::

As is evident, my ambition is to become a research scientist. This profession would allow me to aid others, which is exceptionally important to me, as well as continue to advance our society. Further advancement of civilization is vital to the future of humankind. By being a research scientist, I will be able to give people a second chance and extenuate their lives鈥? Twenty years from now, I will be a research scientist because my generation and I are tomorrow and I am what the future is waiting for.

As is evident, my ambition is to become a research scientist. This profession would allow me to aid others as well as continue to advance our society - both of which are exceptionally important to me.
Further advancement of civilization is vital to the future of humankind, and in succeeding my goal of becoming a research scientist I hope to be able to extenuate people's lives and give them a much needed second chance.
Twenty years from now, I will be a research scientist, as my generation and I are the tomorrow, and the future is waiting for us.

OR

My ambition is apparent - I will become a research scientist. I know that this profession would allow me to do things which are exceptionally important to me: to aid others as well as to continue to advance our society.
Further advancement of civilization is vital to the future of humankind, and by being a research scientist I will be able to give people that second chance, and extenuate their lives.
Twenty years from now I am determined I will have achieved my goal, because my generation and I are what the future is waiting for - we are tomorrow.

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　　AIDS Information 　　HIV AIDS 　　AIDS Drug 　　AIDS Research 　　AIDS Transmission 　　AIDS Cure 　　AIDS Treatment 　　AIDS Symptom 　　AIDS Vaccine 　　AIDS Virus

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