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Does this make sense? (English Homework)? |
Unnecessary preliminary researches into poverty show preposterous insufficient funds and dehydration, but when thoroughly researched, the accumulating people affected are inconceivable. There have been many commemorations towards the people who have a possessive desire and commiserate for third-world countries. Some auspicious adventurous people travel overseas to repercussion for country aid. There have been many embarrassing cancellations to aid from some governments. When an advert is initiation, a lot of people believe its caricature about poverty, but they are wrong. Some believe we can make the whole world picturesque with just extra accessories. No. That paragraph is an ugly mess. I'd give it a D+ at best. The person who wrote does evidently not know the meaning of most of those words. You went "adjective" crazy here! For example, the first sentence should start as either: "Preliminary research" or as "Unwarranted research". It is hard to tell what you are writing about; are you writing about funding to third world countries, or are you writing about how poverty in those countries is magnified by the media in order to generate unnecessary sympathy and additional funding? You useed what is known as pompous diction, that is a bunch of large words with little to no grasp on their meaning. Elevate your diction with out being pompous. Furthermore, about half of the words in this can be cut out. I understand what you are trying to say.... but no... it doesn't make much sense. Are you foreign? |
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