What do you think about my writing?

hi, how are you doing? im still having problems, and there seem to be a light at only one place, as far as im here. here are some of the symptoms that i get dragged along by most of the time. i feel compelled to process information in my head and the rate of perception of certain ideas overwhelm me. i feel so insecure without doing this and then i can't concentrate on other things. I always try to rationalize things that are related to my obsession in order to see why i shouldn鈥檛 feel like this, but the more i move around, the deeper hole i make.



my mood has a lot to do with it. even if i feel compelled, i can let go of the firing ideas if i have the right mood. i reason so many things with the ideas i have and i would do this because i can remember where i left off and remember everything that i thought about. even a sudden sound or movement used to make me feel like i fell of a cliff in an instant. if i could just forget and be unable to perceive or reason anything...i have one obsessive thoughts that would go on for as short as a few months and definitely more than a year. i thought that i would get better once im off of my obsession, but this was not the case as i've experienced. i have been feeling more of insecurity more than anything until the last few days, but it was like this always and im back to my cycle of obsession again. i would create unusual situations or thoughts in my head and think about them being applied to reality where i am at. im back to myself again, but this is only because i have adjusted to my new environment. however, the anxiety is still noticibly ingrained in my soul.



what i want to ask you is if medication will ruin my life as someone had said so. i've been repressing myself from meds, but i don't know if it's worth the time of suffer, distress and unhappiness to avoid the possible consequences of them. i would like to experience a change where i have the power to control myself and would be able to do anything i want with full confidence. it would be fair enough to say that when everyone else is climbing up with the weight of only their body, i feel like im carrying sandbags on each of my limbs. i assume that it'll only alleviate my symptoms and there would be no solution on my way along this road. considering the amount of time i've been independent of any exterior aid, it'll to too late to get off them once i start. i know that you've mentioned meds are not the way to go, but i don't think you realized the severity of my condition at the time you gave out this answer. i've seen a doctor and she recommended meds and my family doctor seemed like he was about to drug me, too, even though i didn't tell them much about me; however, i would take the advice of someone who would rather be willing to go against such aritificial products.

do you see an analogy of the cliff to path of life to success throughout it?
road was kind of irrelevant

Please take the path of spirituality that shall set you truly free. To begin with, read 'The Book of Man' by Osho and also read 'The autobiography of a Yogi' by Pramahansa Yogananda. You will find a lot of insight in these works.