AF showed up again, I didn't know it would be this hard?

I really don't think I can't take it anymore. Yesterday when I saw that I was spotting I just broke down and cried, I have never been more disappointed in my life. After 13 months of trying I just feel like giving up. I have tried everything I can think of, I even tried the not trying thing, and that didn't work either. I know there are many women out there that have been trying longer than me, but one year is a long time. I really thought I was pregnant this time, I have been using preseed for three months, and fertile aid for two months. I have been to the doctor, and she said everything looked normal, but told me to keep trying a couple more months before they can do anything. I just had so many things happen the past couple of days that made me think I was pregnant, and I wasn't over thinking it and making myself have symptoms. It was just different this time, or so I thought. And now here she is the real thing, not just the spotting. I really just don't know what else I can so. But I will keep my head up and try again, but each month is getting harder and harder. I just need some moral support that's all. Thanks girls, you have all been so great!
And baby dust to all, even though it looks like I don't have much.

I feel EXACTLY the same way. I feel like I am losing my mind! Every month I say "I can't do this anymore!" and then the next month I'm right there waist deep in cycle days, cervical mucus, breast tenderness, OPK's, Pre-Seed, Instead ups, even Clomid! And NEVER do I get a BFP! I know that nothing we can say will take away your pain but just know that you are not alone, not even close to alone! Email me and maybe we can be each others moral support.

mybigbabysecret@yahoo.com

i totally know what you mean, i have been TTC for 1.5 years. i am seeing a specialist now and everything seems to be in order at least on the paper.
every time i get my period, i have tears in my eyes, thinking why is god doing this to me, but after a day or so i get over it and try to think positive and focus on this cycle and hope that it will happen. some cycles i thought i really was pregnant, with the symptoms, and "feeling" that i was...but disappointed...so i try not to care about these stupid symptoms, and wait for the next period, and see what happens then..
i do know that i want a healthy baby soon, and i am sure all the ladies TTC feel this way too.

Lets all hope for a healthy 2009 baby.
baby dust to all ...........................................

I HEAR you! So loud and clear.

All our lives we were preached to about abstinence and protection.

I blame the system for teaching us that it is okay to take birth control in the form of synthetic hormones. I TRULY believe this is a HUGE part of why so many ladies like you and I are suffering from infertility. Excuse my rant, but everytime I hear of someone else hurting, or am hurting inside myself, it tears me up. It feels so unfair and not neccesary.

The WORST are months like yours, where you really, really feel like you could be pregnant. It is such a shock to see AF arrive.

My heart goes out to you my friend, our turns WILL come! I believe it. i suggest that you go to another doctor, do you have regular cycles?

I know how you feel I was there we were trying for our last and at 13 months i "gave up" I went and got my birth control cause i was tired of trying and was going to start it on month 14 since i didn't have it on hand. Well while waiting for AF on month 14 it never came and i was preggo. As hard as it is to go month by month it will happen when it is time. Little did i know if i was to have gotten pregnant in any of the months before I probably would have lost the baby cause I had a bad infection set in that had to require strong antibiotics that were not safe for pregnancy. just have fun and live life for today and not for tomorrow. Good Luck

Hi, i can't imagine going through every month just waiting to see if AF will arrive. I can understand your longing for a child of your own though, although i have been able to get pregnant relatively quick i have had bother actually holding onto a pregnancy. I started TTC in Feb'08, First positive test in April, m/c at 5wks, fell pregnant again straight away after this with no period in between, however i miscarried again in the form of a missed m/c at 12wks. I was devastated as i had already had an early sacan where i saw the fetal pole and the heartbeat and had no m/c symptons at all. I then went on to suffere a chemical pregnancy at 4/5wks after this. The only way i find to deal with this is to believe that everything happens for a reason and that when it is our time it will happen for us. You still have 3days to go so there is still a possibilty, don't just rule it out as yet and if this isn't your month then 2009 could be YOUR year. Take care and good luck

even though i havnt been trying as long as you have i understand how you feel. its even worse when you were pregnant and then a week later find out that you are going to lose your baby because of an ectopic pregnancy. just keep your head up. has your partner been checked? sometimes its not the woman but it can be the male. you should advise that he go get checked if he hasnt already and see what the doctors say. after a year doctors are supposed to provide assistance so you really need to go back and if they say wait another couple of months you might want to find another doctor. just dont give up. yes it is disappointing but you have to keep believing and dont stress about it. i know it hurts every month when you think that this might be the month and that stupid unwanted red thing comes lol. you just have to keep believing it will happen. it normally happens when you least expect it. just keep your head up!

hope this helped. it will happen for you, you just cant give up!

My heart goes out to you. I had several problems and I got pregnant about 3 months of really trying to conceive only to lose it, and then find out that my fibroids were the likely cause. I had surgery and was told that I probably would be able to start trying a few months later. I really thought I got pregnant in February 2007, but I found out that my progesterone was really low and I wasn't ovulating. I took fertility meds for a two months, but didn't get pregnant. I went on my own, lost some weight (not terribly over, but thought it couldn't hurt) - started to ovulate again, then got pregnant in November and delivered via c-section in August.
If they are telling you to wait a few more more months after already waiting as long as you did, I would suggest going to an RE if you already haven't and getting tested, and having your spouse tested as well. Good luck and lots of baby dust to you!