Is this any good?

Lorena,
I opened my eyes and looked around me. Something was wrong. My head split in pain as the world spun. Each individual rectangle that covered the walls was doubled on top of itself in my blurred vision. Rectangles. I tried to force myself to focus on an individual rectangle, begging the room to stay still. But the room continued to spin, spiraling into unconscious darkness.
鈥?br> Why can I never finish a stupid Sudoku? I mean, it should have been simple enough, the numbers one through nine in every row, column, and box with no repeats. But it wasn鈥檛 simple enough. Nothing ever was in calculus. Especially when you were a junior at sixteen, but that鈥檚 what I got for being 鈥渟mart鈥? But this had nothing to do with calculus, so why was Mrs. Brassington making us do it? Her distaste for me was almost tangible as she looked down for an awkward moment over my shoulder. Then, in sudden realization of an error unapparent to me, her lips curled into a smile.
鈥淵ou have two three鈥檚 in this column.鈥?She coughed, placing a gnarled finger on my paper. Did she ever clip her nails? Her voice was filled with triumph over my failure. Is it legal for a teacher to want you to fail? Ouch. My head was throbbing as I tried to fight my way through the maze of boxes and columns.
Finally, the bell rang and released me from my numbered prison. Whoever thought that first period calculus was an ok thing was defiantly on something. I reached into my bag and grabbed an aspirin. It had become a daily post-calculus ritual. I never did think that they did anything, but it was the only help the doctor offered for my headaches. Actually, that trip to the doctor had been the first responsible thing that my dad had done for me sense my moving in with him three weeks ago.
He wasn鈥檛 the most responsible of men, especially seeing as how he left when I was seven. That was the thing, it hurt bad enough when your dad just up and left, but it was even worse when you could remember the day that he was simply gone. It was one of those things that was hard to forget. What made it even worse was that as much as I loved my mom, I couldn鈥檛 stand that she wouldn鈥檛 divorce him afterward. She said that she loved him, that she knew he would come back. Well she was right, he did. Not that she was alive to see the day. So there I was, stuck on the outskirts of Denver with first period calculus, a killer headache, and prescription aspirin that did squat.
鈥淟orena?鈥?I cringed. Yet another reason I wasn鈥檛 my dad鈥檚 biggest fan. Who came up with a name like Lorena? If he was going to go with something long and stuffy that should have died with the corset, couldn鈥檛 he have picked something more regal? Like Victoria or Elizabeth? Not that I wanted to be an English queen or anything, but still鈥?Lorena? When I was eleven, I vowed to myself that I would change my name the moment I turned eighteen. But I couldn鈥檛 now, Mom had loved it. She said it made me sound intelligent, classy, and confident. I always thought it made me sound like a saint come back from the dead.
鈥淯h, it鈥檚 Lorie.鈥?I said, realizing what an awkward pause I had taken while contemplating my passionate dislike for my name. I swallowed the two aspirin dry, put the half-empty bottle back in my bag, and turned around to see who the voice belonged to. Immediately I wished I hadn鈥檛.
It was Roman, Roman鈥?well I didn鈥檛 know his last name. However, I did know that this was not good and I desperately wanted to walk away. The poor guy had been hitting on me since my first day. Not that he wasn鈥檛 cute or anything, I just didn鈥檛 like him. He was just too鈥?happy. He always had this goofy smile on his face. Even after first period calculus. Who smiles after first period calculus? On top of that, I think he actually showered in Old Spice. You could smell him from five feet away. I had always thought that Old Spice smelled like the air freshener in the grocery store bathroom in back in Rhode Island. That part of it made me miss my mom and our old apartment even more than I already did. The rest of it just made me nauseous.
鈥淚 know I know, but I like Lorena. It鈥檚 pretty.鈥?His face split open into his ridiculously annoying smile. He pushed his florescent blonde hair out of his face, forcing me to look into his sincere green eyes. Was I missing something? He seemed especially ecstatic today鈥?if that was even possible.
鈥淥h, hey Roman.鈥?Tried to match his excitement and failed pathetically.
鈥淲hat鈥檚 up?鈥?and he sounded like he was actually interested. I was so distracted by that smile it took me longer than it should have to respond. He probably thought I was impaired or something.
鈥淢y head hurts.鈥?Why did I say that? I should have just said fine. It was curt and to the point with little room for comment. I had to suffocate this conversation before it happened.
鈥淚 know, Mrs. Brassington is killer.鈥?Too late.
鈥淵up.鈥?There, that reply was a lot better than the last one. Hopefully if I stuck with one-word sentences from here on out, he would run out of things to say soon.
鈥淪o I was wondering,鈥?My whole body tensed at his phrase. Roman couldn鈥檛 be asking me out could he? I couldn鈥檛 bare the thought of being the one who broke the happy kid. I couldn鈥檛 shoot down that innocent face. But there was no way I could last an entire evening with this guy either. I squirmed, an evening with Roman; the thought was painful. What was I going to say? Would he buy it if I to pretended to pass out right here? Wait, then everyone would think that I passed out because I couldn鈥檛 believe that he had asked me. I would rather have gone on the date than have every body think that. My mind flashed through images of us having diner, going to a movie movie, bowling鈥?maybe passing out was a good plan. I looked up at Roman ready to hear the unthinkable question. For some reason he looked weird. I starred at his face in confusion. Why did he look so odd? I started to scan from top to bottom, trying to find an abnormality. Finally, I realized that I couldn鈥檛 see his teeth and his smile had faded into a grin. That was a first. But why wasn鈥檛 he smiling anymore? Then suddenly it dawned on me that he was searching my face, waiting for me to say something. He had already asked me and I didn鈥檛 hear him in my plan for escape.
鈥淥h. Um, I鈥檓 really sorry Roman but I鈥檓 busy that night. I鈥檓 gonna have to pass.鈥?I really hoped that he hadn鈥檛 said 鈥榯onight鈥?or 鈥榮ometime鈥?because then my reply would have sounded really awkward. I looked into his eyes trying to see if I should have been more harsh instead of making him think that he even had a chance. But he just looked confused. Not hurt confused, but like he really didn鈥檛 understand. What an ego. Could he not see that I just wasn鈥檛 interested? After a moment of him staring at me, waiting for me to explain or take it back he finally said,
鈥淯m鈥?That鈥檚 ok. I can just get the notes from Kelsey then. But thanks.鈥?He flashed his pearly whites one more time then walked away. Wait. Notes? Oh no. Had Roman had been absent the day before? I couldn鈥檛 remember. I didn鈥檛 remember him sitting next to me. But I would usually purposely avoid him.
I stood, staring at the place where Roman had been. Why had I been so convinced he was asking me out? Maybe he hadn鈥檛 been hitting on me. Maybe he was just nice. Nobody was that nice just to be nice were they? It was strangely quiet. Looking around myself I realized the hall was empty. Had the bell rang? I had been ready to throw myself to the floor to avoid a date I wasn鈥檛 even being asked on, when I could have just said I needed to get to class. For a long moment I just let it sink in what a perpetual idiot I was.
鈥淲here are you supposed to be?鈥?The voice made me jump, looking toward it鈥檚 source there was a teacher standing next to me. Well, I had never seen him before, so I guess I couldn鈥檛 have really known he was a teacher. But de didn鈥檛 look like a traffic cop so teacher was a safe assumption.
鈥淥h, Mr. Poland鈥檚 English. I looked at my watch to see that it was five minutes into the period.
鈥淲ell, would love to just send you off,鈥?Oh no. Was this guy actually going to do something?
Jerk.
鈥渂ut we have rules here, and you are expected to be in class when the bell rings. So as much as I hate to do so, I鈥檓 goanna have to have to send you to the DAC.鈥?br> Oh, the Disciplinary Assessment Center. Great. My first trip to the DAC was going to be for being late because I was dazed by not being asked out by a guy I didn鈥檛 like. I鈥檇 been hoping for something a little more cavalier.
鈥淥k then.鈥?I laced the words with extra distaste and mal-contempt. I turned and began to walk away, not even sure of where I was going.
鈥淛erk.鈥?br> 鈥淓xcuse me?鈥?Was that one out loud? Oops.
鈥淚 didn鈥檛 say anything.鈥?It sounded like a lie, even to me. But I couldn鈥檛 look at his face to see if he bought it. Then I suddenly remembered something about not making eye contact giving away that you鈥檙e a liar. I immediately looked into his eyes. They were a surprisingly bright hazel. If he wasn鈥檛 a teacher, (and a mean one at that) I might have thought he was pretty.
鈥淥h I heard you.鈥?He broke my concentration. I was immediately embarrassed with myself for thinking this man had pretty potential. What was he like thirty? No, he didn鈥檛 look that old, but he was a teacher so he couldn鈥檛 have been that young. Why did I care? I could already tell that today was going to be a series of perpetually idiotic events.
鈥淚 guess I鈥檒l be accompanying you on your trip to the DAC.鈥?For some reason I was relieved that I wouldn鈥檛 have to ask for directions. Why couldn鈥檛 this have happened before calculus? I was missing English, one class I actually liked. I was supposed to give my speech on moral and ethical issues of today鈥檚 modern literature. Wait, why couldn鈥檛 this have just not happened? Yeah, that was a better wish to be making. Not that it mattered.
The DAC was highly misnamed. It was in no way a 鈥楥enter鈥?of any kind. It was a couple teachers behind a big desk and three folding chairs against the wall. There were also some of those desks with the big walls surrounding them. They always made me feel like I had leprosy or something to deserve that level of quarantine.
Mr. 鈥?well, he had never said his name now had he? I decided that until I knew, he would be Mr. Hazel. (For Obvious reasons.) Mr. Hazel held out his hand, gesturing for me to go first. Inside the room there were two boys sitting in the folding chairs covered in black board chalk. They both had proud grins on their faces, and I was sure there was a really good story that accompanied them.
鈥淲ell hello.鈥?Said one of the teachers behind the gargantuan metal desk; she so tiny the thing nearly swallowed her whole. She had seemed really nice until she greeted Mr. Hazel. Her words were too bright and cheery for the situation at hand. It was like she was ridiculously pleased that he had come in with new blood.
鈥淗ello Mrs. Hart鈥?Mr. Hazel鈥檚 reply was equally as cheery. Was I misunderstanding what DAC stood for?
鈥淪o what have we here young lady?鈥?She spoke the words as casually as if I come asking for help with my homework. Mr. Hazel told her of our short encounter in the hall, his voice no longer cherry, he sounded really mad actually. I wasn鈥檛 that rude was I? I realized that I had called the man a jerk, but I was still taken aback by his aggressive tone.
鈥淚 see.鈥?Mrs. Hart鈥檚 tone was nearly as scary as Mr. Hazel鈥檚. So maybe I didn鈥檛 have the meaning of DAC confused.
鈥淲ell, have a seat and I鈥檒l call you up in a moment to decide what we should do about this.鈥?br> 鈥淭hank you.鈥?Mr. Hazel鈥檚 words were curt, and he was out of the room before I could even turn around. I walked over to the folding chairs and took the last empty seat. The chalk-covered boy sitting next to me sent a quick glance in my direction then turned to his friend and whispered. Quiet sinkers followed.
鈥淭ony, Michel, here are your passes.鈥?The second teacher held up two pink slips of paper. The two boys looked at each other, took the passes, and were gone.
I felt like I was five years old; sitting in chair by myself, waiting to be punished. After a few moments of numbly staring at the floor, my mind began to wander to what my father would say. This was not exactly going to bode well with him. The thought of him being angry with me, acting all parent-like made my blood boil. He can鈥檛 suddenly act all responsible, like he had any right at this point. He had missed his chance to be my dad; he didn鈥檛 get to start over just because Mom was gone. My eyes began to fill with tears as the rage began to boil over.
鈥淎ll right, come on up.鈥?Mrs. Hart鈥檚 voice came from across the room. I stood up and began to walk, but suddenly I was on the floor. I was dazed with confusion and my entire left arm was screaming with the pain of an intense rug-burn. There was something on my legs. When I turned to see what it was, I found that I had taken the folding chair to the ground with me. I sat for a moment in utter shock, what happened? Mrs. Hart was at my side in a flash; her voice filled with appropriate concern.
鈥淗oney, are you ok? What happened?鈥?She lifted the chair off of me and held my arm to help me up.
鈥淚鈥檓 fine.鈥?My voice wasn鈥檛 as reassuring and fine as I had wanted it to be.
鈥淚 guess I just tripped.鈥?Ouch. Now my arm and my head hurt.
鈥淎re you sure? 鈥?Oh! are you crying?鈥?Oh no. My tears had spilled over. But I was almost relieved that now I had a perfectly good excuse for them, so I played along.
鈥淵eah, I鈥檓 sorry. It鈥檚 just my arm, but I鈥檒l be ok.鈥?I wiped my face with my good hand. She turned to look at my arm and her face twisted into an expression that had me concerned.
鈥淥h you鈥檙e bleeding!鈥?I twisted the back of my arm toward me to get a better look. The rug-burn had broken just enough skin to draw blood from my shoulder to my elbow. It did look kind of gruesome. Looking at the floor at where I had fallen, I could see a long, thin stain from the blood. I held back a chuckle as I thought how badly that stain would scare any first-time DAC鈥檈rs in the future.
鈥淟et鈥檚 get you to the nurse.鈥?Mrs. Hart鈥檚 voice had a slight twinge of panic as she led me out into the hall. It was really awkward having a teacher escorting me. Were there always this many people walking around with hall passes? How embarrassing. I could feel my face turn red as we walked into the nurse鈥檚 office. I halted in the doorway; Mrs. Hart looked at me with confused eyes, and then pulled me all the way in.
Not only was I bleeding allover myself and the floor, and being escorted by a teacher half my size, but who else would be having a chat with the school nurse then Mr. Hazel. He was holding a briefcase and a large coat like he was on his way out. He turned around to see who had entered and his face twisted awkwardly as he tried to hold back an amused smile. An amused smile that would have been far too cruel for the situation.
鈥淕osh Betty, I didn鈥檛 want you to beat the poor girl.鈥?His eyes flashed to mine and his smile broke loose. Jerk.
鈥淚 know, I couldn鈥檛 help it.鈥?Mrs. Hart commented sarcastically, she obviously wasn鈥檛 nearly as amused as he was. Suddenly my arm twitched under a new wave of pain. Looking to see what has caused it, I found myself staring into Nurse Hamilton鈥檚 eyes as she smiled apologetically and motioned for me to follow her into a nearby chair.
She grabbed my right hand and placed it up against the toilet paper she had placed over my arm to keep me from bleeding allover her floor and walked across the room to grab some supplies. As I watched her search for whatever it was she wanted, I realized the room was oddly quiet. Mrs. Hart and Mr. Hazel were both staring at me. Mrs. Hart鈥檚 eyes were filled with concern as she watched, probably waiting to see my continued tears. I would have cried for her, to convince her that my tears were because of my arm, but no way would I give Mr. Hazel the satisfaction. Looking at him, his eyes were less than concerned, he seemed sickly amused with the irony. I could tell he wasn鈥檛 leaving any time soon. I mean, why would he want to miss this? Did I mention this guy was a jerk?
Nurse Hamilton returned with a bundle of bandages and a bottle of rubbing alcohol. Wait, rubbing alcohol? Maybe I would cry. She pulled away the toilet paper and poured some of the rubbing alcohol onto a large cotton square that she had pulled out of her pile of bandages. She hesitated for a moment, looking at my face. I couldn鈥檛 look back, I didn鈥檛 want to see her do it.
鈥淭his is going to sting a little.鈥?
A little? That was a cruel understatement. I turned away and closed my eyes. My entire arm contracted painfully as she rubbed the drenched square against the raw skin. It felt like my arm was on fire as she wiped away the blood and grabbed a new square after the first one became soiled. It took her five cotton squares to sufficiently clean the wound. My arm kept slowly oozing blood as she placed a large, thick piece of gauze over my arm and taped over and around it to seal it and secure it to my arm. By the time she was done, my entire upper arm was wrapped in medical tape. The entire time, Mr. Hazel and Mrs. Hart continued to watch in awed silence.
When she finished, Nurse Hamilton said goodbye to me and Mrs. Hart and continued her conversation with Mr. Hazel. She never said his name. We got back to the DAC and I followed Mrs. Hart to the giant desk.
鈥淲ell anyway,鈥?She looked around her desk and tried to regain her disciplinary composure.
鈥淚鈥檓 goanna assign you three after school detentions to be served whenever you are available over the next two weeks, one Saturday detention which must be served this Saturday from nine to eleven, and thirty demerits. Wow, that seemed like an awful lot for being late to class and calling a teacher a jerk when he deserved it. Didn鈥檛 that little trip to the nurse鈥檚 office buy me anything? She gave me a slip to give for a 鈥渓egal guardian鈥?to sign, and a pass to English. All that and I hadn鈥檛 even missed an entire class period. I could tell it would be a long day.
I walked into Mr. Poland鈥檚 room and all eyes were on me including Andr茅a鈥檚, which was embarrassing because she was standing at the front of the room with a stack of index cards in her hands. Oh no, I had interrupted her speech. I handed my pass to Mr. Poland and made my way to my seat. I had though my embarrassment was over until I heard Mr. Poland鈥檚 booming brassy voice behind me.
鈥淥h, someone鈥檚 been to the DAC this morning.鈥?A simultaneous oooo filled the room. How annoying. Andr茅a finished her speech just as the bell rang and I nearly ran to my next class. I figured that with no pass or annoying teacher, no one would know about this morning and I could move on.
I walked into economics and took my seat in the back right-hand corner of the room.
鈥淲hat happened to you?鈥?Tyler sat down next to me was staring at my whale of a bandage. Oh yeah, there was that.
鈥淥h. Imaginary date, evil teacher, DAC, and a rug-burn. Long story.鈥?br> 鈥淎 Flying-Star kind of day?鈥?My whole body tingled at the thought.
鈥淒efiantly.鈥?A bad day was always better after going to Flying-Star, a little caf茅 a short walk into town. Whenever either of us was having a major bad day, we would walk down to the Flying-Star, get caramel latt茅s and a poppy seed bagels, and talk about it. Whoever lost the 鈥渕y day was the worst ever鈥?bet, had to pay. Unless we were there to celebrate. If that was the case then we would both buy a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows and we would split a piece of key-lime pie.
鈥淲ow, it must be pretty bad if you鈥檙e already that desperate by third period.鈥?Tyler smiled sympathetically, I was feeling better already. Tyler had been my best friend ever sense my first day when I dropped my books in the hall after calculus. Not only did he pick them up for me like a true gentleman, he also managed to get Roman to go away when he came over to see if I was ok and he walked me to all of my classes for the rest of the day and gave me a place to sit at lunch. He did all of this without parading me around like the new girl that I was. Nothing was ever awkward around him, and that first day of school was the first day that he took me to Flying-Star. He was tall enough that he made me feel like a girl when I stood next to him. Normally, I would tower over most everybody else at 5鈥?0鈥? But he was about 6鈥?鈥? making him the perfect height in my book. His hair dark brown like mine, but his was much darker. So much darker that it was commonly mistaken for black, but I liked it how it was because it made his bright blue eyes shine like flood lights.
鈥淵ou don鈥檛 even know.鈥?I sighed. He smiled again and I felt like the rest of the day could actually get better. Maybe it had just been a bad morning, that didn鈥檛 mean that the entire day had to be bad did it? Mrs. Derik walked in and placed her large grade book on the desk at the front of the room. The book seemed so huge when she was carrying it. The poor woman was only 5鈥?鈥?in heels, combined her little voice and wild red hair she looked like a nymph.
鈥淥k. Take everything off your desks so we can get started on the test.鈥?The warm feelings Tyler had instilled into me hit the floor and shattered. I had no idea that there was a test today.
鈥淲hen did she say we had a test?!鈥?I whispered in sheer panic to Tyler.
鈥淵esterday at the beginning of class. Why did you think we spent the whole period reviewing?鈥?He was looking at me like I was crazy, but in his voice I could tell he was equally panicked for me. He knew my grade in this class had been taking a nose dive the pass couple of weeks.
鈥淚 was in the bathroom at the beginning of class! Why didn鈥檛 you tell me?鈥?br> 鈥淚 honestly thought you knew. Sorry. But hey, you were here for the review yesterday. You should do fine, calm down. Just do your best.鈥?Wow. What an original statement. Besides, had I known that the review was for a test today, I might have paid a lot more attention.
鈥淣o talking please the test is out.鈥?I turned to face the front and found that the test was already sitting on my desk. I stared at the packet for a few moments, trying to remember what the test was even on. So maybe the whole day would be bad, I mean why would it stop with a trip to the nurse and unjust detention? Well, maybe I deserved the detention, but it was still a major down side. Was there an upside? I tried to think of anything good that had happened that morning; anything good that was going to happen. That just made me even more depressed.
Suddenly, my desk shook. I jumped to see that Tyler had kicked the front leg of the desk to get me to start on the test. Oh, the test. I opened the booklet and read the first question鈥?br> That was the hardest test I had ever taken in my entire life. By the time I finished, my head felt like it was being repeatedly bashed with a baseball bat, a baseball bat that was on fire. Tyler walked me out of the room never once taking his eyes off my face. When I finally looked back at him he looked concerned, that helped to know that he at least actually cared. The entire walk to Physics he never said a word. It was like he was in my head and could tell that the last thing I wanted was to talk right now. He just held the strap of the book bag draped over my shoulder and pulled my through the hall. He plowed through the crowds of talking teens with ease and followed the speed walkers who blazed their own trail through the mess.
We walked into physics and looking at the front of the room and Tyler leaned over and whispered in my ear.
鈥淪ub today.鈥?I was so glad that he had whispered the phrase; it was like he could see the pain that my head was in by the look on my face. At that thought I realized that he probably could. I consciously relaxed my face muscles which I then realized had been clenched into an uncomfortable frown. Tyler took me to my seat and sat down next to me. That wasn鈥檛 his usual seat, but no one ever sat in their normal seat when there was a substitute. I was grateful that Mrs. Wormington was out, because when she was gone she would usually just tell the sub to show us a movie, or give us busywork. Well, I was grateful until the sub started talking.
鈥淨UIET DOWN!鈥?Why was the man yelling? Each word he shouted at the class brought my scull that much closer to shattering.
鈥淚鈥橫 MR. LEE. MRS. WORMINGTON HAS ASKED ME TO SHOW YOU A SHORT FILM AND THEN DISCUSS IT WITH YOU.鈥?Tyler glanced at my and smiled wickedly. Was he laughing? How could he go from being so sweet to being so cruel? I wanted to be irritated but I could see why he would think it was funny. Plus, being irritated hurt my head too much. I reached into my bag and grabbed an aspirin. Tyler rolled his eyes as he watched my swallow the pills. He knew there was no point, but I still had to try.
鈥淚鈥橫 PASSING OUT A WORKSHEET TO FILL OUT AS YOU WATCH THE FILM. THIS WORKSHEET WILL BE GRADED SO DON鈥橳 JUST WRITE WHATEVER.鈥?I think he was talking so loud so that he could hear himself. The guy was pretty old, and I could see that he had hearing aids in both ears. He put the tape into the VCR and I was relived that I wouldn鈥檛 have to listen to him yelling anymore.
But it turned out that he wanted to hear the movie to. Ouch.
The rest of the day was just as bad as the morning had been. After Physics, I managed to trip over myself in the hallway, I had forgotten my lunch and my French homework, I nearly killed a poor kid in my study hall when Mrs. Garrison asked me to pass her the dictionary and I dropped it on his head, and I accidentally sprayed my pants when I stopped at the water fountain. I had spent the last three periods of the day looking like I had peed in my pants.
Tyler and I went to Flying-Star and of course, they were out of caramel flavoring and I had to get a vanilla latte. A vanilla latte that Tyler paid for. We talked for about an hour and a half, Tyler made it a little better but I was still raw from the long day. On top of that, my dad wasn鈥檛 nearly as good at reading me as Tyler was. He walked me home and I went in through the front door that led into a small family room which was connected to an even smaller kitchen. The kitchen was connected to the living room, which was also connected to the family room. I dropped my bag on the floor even though I knew I had a ridiculous amount of homework. I just needed a little more time to relax off the long day. As I stepped into the living room, I could hear my dad coming down the stairs on the opposite side of the kitchen.
鈥淟orena?鈥?Ugh. I was completely convinced that at this point he was only calling me that to bother me. He knew I hated my name.
鈥淒ad. Please call me Lorie.鈥?He walked into the living room and stopped in front of me. He looked like he was surprised to see me. Why would he be surprised to see me? It鈥檚 not like anyone else ever came around.
鈥淚 know. I know. Lorie.鈥?he rolled his eyes as if the sound of the word disgusted him. I walked into the kitchen and sat down.
鈥淲hat time are you leaving for work?鈥?I laid my head on the table and let the cold of the wood seep into my hot, flustered cheek. I had never thought that a table could feel so nice, I wasn鈥檛 sure that I would ever be able to move from that spot.
鈥淚n about an hour.鈥?He just stared at me. Couldn鈥檛 he tell that I wanted him to go away? How annoying. He was just standing over me, staring down at me. Apparently, he wanted me to say more.
鈥淯h, what鈥檚 for dinner?鈥?He frowned as if the question offended him. Well, what did he want? He wanted me to keep talking and I wanted to know what was for dinner. Everybody wins. He sighed and massaged his forehead as if he had forgotten all about dinner. Wow. My dad, who was responsible for taking care of me, for making sure I was ok and fed and stuff, had forgotten about dinner.
I blinked a couple of times in bewildered amazement of how completely melodramatic that thought had been. I really needed some sleep. Now. Maybe I would just skip the dinner that dad had forgotten about and just go to bed. Yeah. That though sounded way better than any food would have been.
鈥淯h, you can order some pizza.鈥?Really? Cause after a long, terrible day I really could have gone for some comforting soup. But how could he have known that? Wait, but didn鈥檛 I just decide to veto dinner all together? Yep. Sleep was crucial.
He rubbed his hands together and blew like he was cold. Was he just being spastic? Cause it was like sixty degrees outside. I mean it was hardly beach going weather but still, in no way hand rubbing temperature. There was a thud upstairs. I looked up instinctively. Everything went still and I looked back to Dad. His eyes were filled with panic, but he kept going as if he had never heard it.
鈥淥r, maybe some Chinese if you want.鈥?How could he not have heard that? It sounded like a鈥?did he say Chinese? Egg drop soup, crab rangoon, orange chicken, the thought made my mouth water.
鈥淪ure.鈥?I said trying to sound as indifferent as humanly possible. Forget going straight to bed, I was going to have me some Asian cuisine. Now all I needed was my fluffy fleece pajama pants, my orange feather pillow, and the Princess Bride. (Because we all know that it is the movie of every occasion.) I stood up, brushed off my pants, and turned to the stairs on the other side of the kitchen.
鈥淲hat are doing?鈥?He said it so fast it made me jump.
鈥淚鈥檓 goanna go change.鈥?Since hen did he care? I stared at him for a moment and watched him think of a response. What exactly was his problem today?
鈥淲hy?鈥?Why? Did my dad just ask me why I was going to change after school? Didn鈥檛 I change every day after school? I finally decided that there was defiantly something wrong with him today.
鈥淏ecause I always change after school Dad. What is your problem?鈥?He automatically stood taller like it was an authoritative reflex. It was almost like he wanted to argue with me. This startled me. He was normally so passive.
鈥淵ou鈥檙e the one with the problem Lorena. I just wanted to know what you were doing. I don鈥檛 think that that鈥檚 too much to ask.鈥?He said the words as if he had the right to know everything that I ever did; Like he could just demand anything of me at anytime just because he was my father. I could feel the tears of rage filling my eyes again.
鈥淲ell I think that you should just back off. I was just going upstairs. It鈥檚 not like you鈥檝e ever cared about what I did before.鈥?I laced the words with suggestion. Judging by the look on his face, he could tell that I meant more than just going upstairs. He knew that I was talking about the fact that he left me. That I had spent the last nine years living perfectly fine without him. He slouched slightly; I hadn鈥檛 thought that it would hurt him that much. There was another thud at the top of the stairs. The sound made Dad jump and the panic refilled his eyes. Looking toward the sound, there was a figure at the top of the stairs. The figure froze momentarily, and then moved slowly down the stairs. As it stepped into the light, I found myself staring at Mr. Hazel.

David,
A wave of guilt swept over me. I shouldn鈥檛 have knocked her out like that. I stared at her in remorse. She was so beautiful. This was all my fault. The tears rose in my eyes as I softly whispered
鈥淚鈥檓 sorry.鈥?I finally tore my eyes away and slammed the large metal door. I had to finish this. I bounded down the hall toward the one who started this. I couldn鈥檛 let him get away. I didn鈥檛 know what I would do when I caught him, but I ran after him anyway.
鈥?br> 鈥淗ave a good day.鈥?I called after her as she ran out the door to catch the bus. I didn鈥檛 think that she had heard me, but it felt good to know that I had at least tried. I stood in silence as I watched her get on the bus. She looked so much like Emma. I took a long breath as the sadness hit. Emma鈥?I missed her more than anything.
I watched the bus disappear around the corner and turned toward the kitchen. I had so much to do today, but none of it seemed to matter anymore, I just wanted to stay home. I wanted Lorena to get back from school. I knew that she hated me, not that she didn鈥檛 have the right, but it still felt nice to have her around. She was so much like her mom it was uncanny, and I really wanted to make it right with her. I owed her that much. The phone rang and I jumped, suddenly ripped from my day dream. I crossed the kitchen and picked up the receiver.
鈥淗ello.鈥?My voice cracked.
鈥淒avid?鈥?The other voice didn鈥檛 sound familiar at all, but he obviously knew who I was so I played along.
鈥淗ey.鈥?br> 鈥淚t鈥檚 been too long my friend. I know your daughter Katrina was moving in with you and everything but I didn鈥檛 know that you were disappearing all together.鈥?
鈥淟orena.鈥?I said it more sharply than I meant to.
鈥淲hat?鈥?The guy on the other end seemed put out.
鈥淢y daughter鈥檚 name is Lorena.鈥?I was more friendly this time.
鈥淥h yeah. Sorry Dave. Well listen,鈥?The gears in my head finally clicked. Only one person ever called me Dave. It was Trevor McLean. I was instantly relieved that I wouldn鈥檛 have to ask who I was talking to and I was automatically more interested in what he was saying.
鈥淲e鈥檝e kind of got a problem. Do you think I could come over?鈥?A problem? We?
鈥淪ure. I鈥檓 not doing anything today so come whenever.鈥?br> 鈥淭hanks. I鈥檒l be there in like two hours ok?鈥?He sounded worried. That didn鈥檛 help.
鈥淜. Later.鈥?The other line went dead and I put down the receiver.
I stood in the kitchen in silence for longer than I thought possible for me to stand still.
What to do now? A problem? I hadn鈥檛 talked to Trevor since Lorena had moved in, but still, I had thought everything was fine. What bothered me the most was that he said 鈥渨e鈥?like it was my problem to. No, it had only been because he wanted me to help him like he had done so many times for me. Like when Emma died, had and I needed money.
Emma died. The thought hurt. It was hard to think that she was gone, I had made myself believe that she was off somewhere else like she had always been. That I was only missing her like I always had when she was still around. But denial did nothing for anyone now.
What made it even worse was that she didn鈥檛 even care to leave me anything. Not that I was that selfish, wanting to benefit from her demise. It was just that she hadn鈥檛 even bothered to write a will, she didn鈥檛 even bother to make sure that Lorena would be ok. It was like she was punishing me from beyond the grave, like she wanted me to pay for what had done. If only she knew how badly I wanted to hold her all those years. If only it would have mattered if she did. The door bell rand and I jumped. Hadn鈥檛 he said he would be coming in two hours? I looked at the clock to see it was almost ten o鈥檆lock. So much for getting anything done.
鈥淐ome on in Trev!鈥?I shouted unmoving. The door opened and a cold gust of air blew through the house. I heard the door slam and the sound of Trevor鈥檚 clunky boots echoed through the hall.
鈥淒ave?鈥?He walked into the kitchen and looked at me in surprise.
鈥淲hy are you just sitting there?鈥?I didn鈥檛 even know myself.
鈥淥h, um nothing. What鈥檚 going on?鈥?He walked around to the other side of the table and sat, laying his briefcase on the floor next to him. He took off his coat and look at me with a frantic expression.
鈥淥k. You remember that money I lent you when Lorena moved in?鈥?Of course I remembered, I needed it so badly and he just gave it to me no problem.
鈥淪ure I do. What about it?鈥?Trevor鈥檚 face twisted uncomfortably. This worried me more than anything; Trevor was rarely uncomfortable telling me things.
鈥淲ell, I鈥︹€?He paused, as if he didn鈥檛 want to finish his sentence. He took a deep breath and forced himself to continue.
鈥淚 need it back.鈥?What? Since when is it ok to ask for a gift back? This was not Trevor. My head throbbed in confusion as I tried to make sense of his request. Looking back at him I could see he was nervously awaiting my response. Maybe he knew how obtuse it sounded.
鈥淲hy?鈥?Was all I could manage. He frowned uncomfortably and was curt.
鈥淚 just need it Dave! How hard is that to understand? It鈥檚 my money, and I need it!鈥?I was shocked by his sudden outburst. I stared at him. After a few moments the stare melted into a glare.
鈥淵ou know I don鈥檛 have it.鈥?His eyes widened in panic, then suddenly narrowed in rage.
鈥淲hat do you mean you don鈥檛 have it?!鈥?br> 鈥淲hat I mean is that I didn鈥檛 ask you for money so I could stick it in a jar for a while. It鈥檚 gone. Besides, I thought we agreed that I could pay you back in a year.鈥?He sighed, all the rage had faded. He placed his elbows on the table and held his head in his hands. After a minute of watching him shake his head in dismay, I couldn鈥檛 stand the confusion any more.
鈥淲hat鈥檚 going on Trev?鈥?I tried to sound understanding, but the words sounded as frustrated as I felt. He let his head fall back, then sat up and looked at me.
鈥淭hat wasn鈥檛 my money Dave.鈥?My stomach lurched. I swallowed hard, trying to force it back down. Trevor wouldn鈥檛 give me money that wasn鈥檛 his. Never. This had to be a dream. A nightmare. I took a breath and decided not to freak out and just get some answers.
鈥淲hat are you talking about Trevor?鈥?His face twisted painfully as he tried to think of a way to explain.
鈥淚 just need the money back.鈥?No way was he going to as me to come up with $12,000 that he gave me in good confidence without giving me an explanation.
鈥淜. I鈥檓 goanna need you to elaborate.鈥?/div>

• 3 weeks ago