Awkward Mother, I want to see my little 1yr old boy?

Hello,

My son was born 2nd June 07, me and my partner where together and we split shortly about 3 - 4 months later. I had to move back to northampton away from Great Yarmouth as i could not afford to live on my own.

My partner had registered him whilst i was out at work without me knowing and this would mean my name is not on the birth certificate.

She has said to start off with that she didn't want any money from me and just for me to come and see him and that she would never stop that.

So i have been traveling 120 miles there and 120 miles back once a month to go and see him. Now recently i have found her to be avoiding me, she has been ignoring my calls about going to see him on his 1st birthday and i do not know where she is living now in Great Yarmouth.

I have offered to help her financially and by going to see him, my family miss him as well and would love to see him.

When i do go to see him we have to sit in a cafe which i find very embarrassing as she will not let me know where my son is living and it is not the same as sitting indoors at home, (the environment).

It has got to the stage where i am wanting to take action but do not know where to start, i have checked and i am entitled to legal aid, as i only earn 拢190 a week and have low income.

How do i go about getting to see my son on a more reliable term as i am having to try and call her 2 3 times a day and i am very lucky if she answers if not her mum will answer and say she is out.

I feel like i am stuck in a corner with know where to go . . . and would appreciate it if you could help me.

These are the main points:

>I'm not on birth certificate
>its feels strange why she has not wanted me to go on the birth certificate (her reason was that if we ever split i could take him with me) and has not asked for any financial help, i am wondering if the child is mine, but cannot get her to do a DNA test, she has said its too much to put him through.
>I want a regular interval so i can go and see him in a better environment than being sat in a cafe with him on my knee.

Kind Regards

K

How do i respond to answers from people on this, I dont think i qualify for parental rights as i am not on birth cert.

First of all, You DO have parental rights.The argument that you dont have rights because she hasnt acknowledged you as the father is a "myth". Women use that arguement a lot but legally it is not true. Wether she placed you on the birth certificate or not you still have rights to your child. Petition the courts for a paternity establishment. A DNA test will be done (regardless of wether she agrees its a good idea or not). Then you start filing for child support and visitation. Both of these are to protect you. At any point she can claim you have not supported your child and file for support along with back support owed from the childs birth. You do NOT want to be fighting a support order in 10 years claiming you owe 11 years of child support. You need to get an order now so you can help with your child and not end up with more problems later. Visitation orders will be granted outlining your rights to access to the child. This will make it possible for you to take the child to your home, visit your relatives, and see your child at regular intervals without hassle. You need to contact your local court office and start exercising your rights. If you explain what you want to the court admin they will help you file the paperwork and show you the process.

you can request a blood test through the courts. Once you have been proven to be the father you will have rights at that point. I would take action before she moves else where and you can't find her.

get a dna test and if the child proven to be your hire a lawyer fight for visitation rights and your name on the birth cert. i wish you the best!

GET A LAWYER.

Well I didn't go threw the whole question but you can go and get it set up so the baby is blood tested to be proven to be yours and get put on the birth certificut. Then you can fight for fair rights.

I hate to say it, but it sounds like she's hiding something. First of all, her reason for not putting you on the birth certificate is not right. You couldn't just take him because your his father, you both have equal custody rights. Second, she won't let you know where she lives? Maybe there's another guy in the picture? Maybe she's hiding and unsafe or embarrassing environment? Third, a DNA test costs about $150 in the US, so it can't be much more than that in the UK, maybe free (since healthcare is free??) and all they do is rub a cotton swab on the inside of each of your cheeks. There is no pain involved. Since he is only 1 year old, he would never even know. But if you wait until he's 10, then it might be kind of traumatic. Somethings up, and you should really get a lawyer to find out what and make sure the best interests of your son are met.

best advice you will get is from legal aid. Make a appointment and go see them. Explain everything to them and what you would like to change. He will answer all your questions for you. You will more than likely have to go to court and make a access order. Good luck- i hope you get what you want. You have a right to see your son!

Right ok this is a toughie!!
you already have what's called Parental Responsiblity as your son was born after the cut of point of 1st Dec 2003. So as a father you have rights anyway. This im afraid might be one for the court and you may as well seeing as tho you can get legal aid. As for sitting in cafes etc, maybe she feels ashamed of where she is living and doesn't want you to see incase you judge,next time suggest taking him to the park or whatever. I arn't exactly sure what else to say apart from do what's best for your son, not for you or his mother !
Good Luck

YOU don't need to be on the birth certificate to have rights !! the law changed in 2003 so that single fathers get to have a say etc. Speak to a solicitor if your still unsure

get a dna test, it is not to late to have your name put on the birth certificate and get legally entitled to vistiation rights
it is not that much to put him through, they take a cotton swab of the inside of his mouth--- or pull out a few hairs next time you see him- sorry if that sounds cruel