THlS WILL INTEREST YOU I PROMISE?

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.


2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.


3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.


4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.


5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.


6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.


7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.


8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.


9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'

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10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.


EVER WONDER


Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?


Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?


Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?


Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?


*Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?


Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?


Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?


Why aren't the letters on a keyboard in order?


Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?


Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?


When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?


Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?


Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?


You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff??


Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?


Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?


If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?


If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?


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In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:


On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( I have no other time to dry my hair).


On a bag of Fritos:! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?


On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)


On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." ( But, it's "just" a suggestion).


On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well.... a bit late huh?)


On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...nahhh... Really??...)


On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)


On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)


On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because???....)


On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to... what?)


On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)


On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)


On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)


On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)


On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Its all explainable.

The hot dog one, is just away to get you to buy another package. (they want you to spend more)

LMFAO.......LMFAO.........LOL those were so funny and sooo TRUE!!!!!!! i always wonder about some of those things.......thx for the laugh.....had a great time reading these!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAH that was hilarious!! Kudos to you! I especially like the chainsaw one, that was hilarious!!! You get a star for this one!

vERY funny =] Also on the american military rocket launcher it has a label: 'point towards enemy' Its iike. Realy? I was planning on shooting myself

Thats funny!!! All the stupid warnings on things are because Amercia is sue happy, I mean since when can you sue Nike for tripping on shoe laces!?? Actually happened
Thanks for the chuckle

It was Sept. 11 Ivy N Not so smart now are ya!?

This is actually pretty funny

HAHAHAHA


dude - every single one of those is hilarious

HAHAHA! NICE

tl;dr.
I've seen those 'jokes' so many times, they arent funny anymore.

Nah, that happens in Canada, too. ;)

Good Question.

ha ive always wondered about the hot dogs/bun packages. it bothers me.

This was funny

So true!!!

They're so funny but true!

very funny! I like the Noah one

Haha, I love the Boot's Children Cough Medicine. xD

I wonder where this world will end up....

stay off the green stuff


just kidding

those are some really interesting questions.
I like this one

Touche.

that's neat. But they don't make the whole plane out of the black box because it would weigh to much.

If only I had the answers to give to you on any of these questions

lmao that was very interesting! you forgot one though.
Why do we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway?
lmao :)

haha. thts funny. star 4 u

lol! Hrd sum be4 but they are still gd. :-)

that was great reading ...thanks

wow, what was the ??

haha nice job with these!
* for you!!

lmao. nice. i love these. i have many like this one.

:)

thats is all so true and they do make sick people go in the back !

lol. omg! this is so funny :))))

these are all very funny. I have answers to most of the questions

this is sooo old.