I'm having a miscarriage...What now?

Im 6 weeks. Last night I started bleed and went to the ER. My HCG level is now 62. Not a good sign for 6 weeks. Im getting it checked again tomorrow. The doctor says if it goes down to 0 he will do a DNC. He said maybe there's rare chance something else(what that may be who knows) is going on so he wanted a second blood test.

Im really upset, sad, angry, and feel it unfair. I have a feeling of great loss. Loss of our baby, loss of our dreams and plans. Its hard. Just a big empty feeling. Its also hard knowing the baby is still in there. Im afraid i will pass it and see it and I just dont know how i will handle that. Im scared every time i go to the bathroom.

How do I tell family and friends? I dread people asking how me and the baby are doing.

They have put me on codeine and xanax for a week...To me this is just a band aid. But I am in pain. the meds help.

My husband,mom, in laws are all very close and supportive right now too. Even so, its still really hard on me. My husband is sad about the baby but isnt taking it as hard as me. I dont think any man can really fully understand. Theres no reason to it. But he is very worried about me.


This would have been our second child.

Our nearly 3 year old daughter already knows "theres a baby in mommy's tummy"

Im hoping if no one mentions it she will forget.

My husband and I just went through this a month ago. I still get sad about losing the baby (I was 11 weeks however the fetus had stopped developing at 6 1/2 weeks.) Just know that you didn't do anything wrong and you couldn't have prevented this from happening. Most likely something was genetically wrong with the fetus and the body aborted it. I was pregnant with 2 of my sisters (my twin and I were only a week apart in our pregnancies) so I have to talk to my sisters almost daily about their pregnancies and I am throwing their baby showers (SO TOUGH!) and I have to do it with a smile on my face. My 6 year old son kept bringing up the baby in mommy's tummy and it was really tough to tell him. I ended up telling him the baby was really sick and had to go back to heaven and when the baby is better Heavenly Father will send the baby back to us. I wasn't sure if he really got it but the next day after school he came home and told me he told his teacher that the baby had passed away and his cousin told her mom (pregnant twin sister) that he was telling his friends at recess that the baby in his mom's tummy passed away. You will get through it and only time heals. Each day it gets easier and easier for me and I'm sure it will do the same for you.

It's normal to feel how you are feeling. Take time to mourn the loss of your little one! If you want to be surrounded by people, ask for help. If you want to be alone, let them know!

Have your husband tell people if you don't want to. The word will spread.

And he may not appear to be taking it hard, but he is. Men don't display their feelings like women do, but I assure you, he feels sad too! Lean on him!

I can understand this, Ive had a miscarriage and i know it is hard. You need to look be thankful for your daughter and if it was meant to be you will get pregnant again. Think about it this way - If its gonna happen wouldnt you rather it be now and not when you or 7 or 8 mo??

I would like you to discuss this with my wife. Even if by email which might be easier for you? we JUST went through this not too long ago. I mean what sounds like the exact same thing! we prayed and prayed and still lost the baby.

To this day I am SO MAD at these abortion advocates!!! You know, here we are losing a baby and we totally didn't expect it and there are people out there KNOWINGLY and PURPOSEFULLY killing theirs. wow.

Anyway, to add to the matters my poor wife's blood levels took a turn for the worse--molar pregnancy! she was weeks and weeks on Chemotherapy...it was horrible. Of course we were supposed to wait a year to stabilize her blood levels before getting pregnant again. Oops!!! She got pregnant RIGHT AFTER chemo which is soooo bad.

The doctors asked us to abort (or tried to convince us!). as the baby got bigger they said it had club feet, downs syndrome, potential retardation..."we recommend aborting".

No chance!

One year after my wife's chemo we gave birth to Jared. Send me your email and I will send you pics. All the "downs syndrome" specialists were in the room ready to take him into surgery on his club foot. Lo and behold he was born PERFECT--his club foot, although clear as day on a 3 dimension ultrasound, did NOT exist anymore. He was not Down's. He also was born circumsized which we thought was rather interesting!

Long story short, please email me and I will give you more details and pictures. They say that the baby we lost was SO GOOD that God wanted him as soon as possible. I believe that is true. Because this one is HORRIBLE...h ah aha...I mean he is bad. But he is our joy.

This was my 4th child, by the way.

Having said all that I can't tell you how many times they pushed us towards abortion. I suggest you get a second and third opinion until you are absolutely convinced what they are doing or suggesting is right. My dad's a doctor...but I don't trust them!!!!

Wanna chat?

JustinBentley@Qwest.net

I had a miscarriage just short of eight weeks. The baby never developed. It is a hard thing to go through, but the reason you miscarried is because the baby didn't develop right. It is a good thing that you miscarried because your body took care of a baby that wouldn't have made it anyways. I was heartbroken when I found out I lost mine too. You can't let it get you down because everything happens for a reason. God has plans for you and even though it might not seem like it now, it was for the best. I am currently trying again after my loss. All you can do is put it behind you and try again. Sorry for your loss, but i know exactly how you feel. I miscarried two weeks ago and I feel your pain.

im really sorry for what you going through its hard i know as i lost my son at 26 weeks and whatever stage you are in pregnancy its always hard to deal with, but i will say my friend lost her baby a few weeks back at 12 week and she didn't see anything that looked like a baby it was just a lot of blood and tissue, she passed her baby naturally, if your levels are that low maybe the baby stopped growing a few weeks back, once again im so sorry, all the best for your future xx

i had a miscarriage last january (my 1st pregnancy). we were so thrilled because we had been trying for awhile and it finally happened. went in for my first ultrasound and they couldn't find a baby. i was completely heart broken. went through weeks of blood tests to make sure and then i eventually miscarried. it's hard, i know. my family and husband were extremely supportive and there for me. but you still have that sense of loss and sadness. i had people asking me about my baby for a month or so after. all you can do is tell them what happened. and know that it's not your fault that it happened. as for your little girl.. if she asks, you and your husband have to decide what to tell her. 3 is a very curious age and i doubt she will just forget. it might help to be prepared as far as what to tell her. god bless and i'm sorry for your loss.