How can I talk to my father?

Im 23 an the youngest of 5 siblings. I have been knowing my dad has AIDS since I was 9 and when I was 13 found out that he got it from cheating on my mom with another guy. My mom doesn鈥檛 have AIDS and none of the, us (the kids) do either. He tried to cover up the cheating and the AIDS to my mom but she forced the test results out of him and the divorce came, they鈥檝e been divorced since I was 5. My problem is that my dad doesn鈥檛 talk about it. When asked if he is gay he says he isn鈥檛, when asked how he got AIDS he doesn鈥檛 answer. He has never been in another relationship since, at least to my knowledge. He trys to have a relationship with me and my bros and sis but for me it cant work. How can I open up to him and let him in my life without him doing the same. Multiple times in my adulthood I have tried to have deeper conversations with him and he refuses. He doesn鈥檛 even like to talk about his AIDS status, he says that how he prefers to deal with it. I respect that and don鈥檛 talk about it. But the other thing, the gay thing, I don鈥檛 get. I have many gay friends and wouldn鈥檛 care either way. All I want for him is to be honest with himself and with me. I don鈥檛 know who he really is because all our conversation are just superficial bullshit, but its almost as if he prefers it to stay that way. And please spare me the crap about being sensitive to him because living a life in the closet is hard and blah blah. I have always treated my father like any other person, with love and caring and reached out as best as I knew how. I will not give him special treatment because he is sexually attracted to men vs women. Because the truth of it is if he cheated on my mom multiple times with a woman and lied about it then got AIDS and lied about that too, he would be considered a dirt bag. But because he is gay we have to be sensitive to this hard time in his life, no, he made adult decisions to do what he did. I would love to have the open and honest relationship that I have with my mom and siblings with him I just cant get him to open up to me. Its been 18 years, when is it gonna be time and how do I try to get to that point. What should I do?

Yeah, its hard talking to parents as it is. but when its more serious matters, its uncomfortable for them to talk to their kids about it no matter how old the kids get. its always hard to have that open honest communication with our parents. im in the somewhat of the same thing too with my dad, not the same situation. but the whole communication thing is all out of wack. i suggest you need to approach ur dad in a different way, if sitting down and talking to him about it doesnt work, maybe u should write him a letter. ask him to be honest with you. yeah you may not have the perfect father, but who does? wish you luck.

Print this page or write him a similar letter and post it to him...his reaction/reply will let you know what the next step will be.