Is my boyfriend is leaving me with the bill?

I wanted to take some music lessons through my community college. I was going to wait until next year so that I could get financial aid because I don't qualify now. I told him of my desire to do so and he said he would pay for it if I signed up. I did and I am now owing payment in the next 3 weeks. I have mentioned to him that I have to pay my bill but not directly. I have been told that I need to be assertive and say something to him about it.

I am disappointed that I have to prompt him and I am ashamed to say anything.

I knew it was a little early to start the lessons but i felt like he was testing my sincerity and ability to follow through on commitment when he said he would pay. I also signed up for the class before I stumbled into this job so now he thinks I am making good enough money. I am assuming that is why he hasn't made a move to pay the bill. I am single mom and I had some late bills.

Thank you for all the great responses and the time all of you spent on them. I didn't think about sending him the bill, that is a great idea.

He asks me frequently how my practice is going. I have mentioned the bill to him a few times before. I truly feel like it is an indication of character make good on a commitment. I have decided I do not want involvement with a man I have to prompt repeatedly for anything. Its a bill now but its picking up his dirty clothes later. I feel it is irresponsible for him to keep sidestepping the expense that I would not have incurred had he not expressed his willingness to pay. It would be irresponsible of me to include in my life a man that is careless of my needs and wants. What if this was a loan that I would cosign? Or a bill too large for me to realistically be able to pay? I will count my blessings. It will be hard but I will pay this on my own and learn my lesson.

Irene, if he said he'd pay for the classes, then that's what needs to happen. If he thinks that you getting a new job now means that you can afford the classes, then that needs to be worked out directly (I.E., open communication), not swept under the rug and not discussed.

Since this is your boyfriend, obviously he's someone you're considering marriage to and building a life with. It is a serious red flag when you cannot discuss something this trivial and insignificant with a potential future husband. Since he said he'd pay the bill, personally, I'd mail the bill straight to his address. I'd send a note telling him how much I appreciated his willingness to pay for the classes. You feel funny about it because YOU think that since you're working now, it looks chintzy to expect him to pay for the classes, and you're wondering what he'll think of you. Well, stop and ask yourself, what are you going to think of HIM if he won't keep his word? If he makes promises to you that he doesn't keep, then how will you trust him?

One final thought...is it possible that he's never had a second thought about paying for the classes, but just hasn't yet seen the bill? Is it possible that he just hasn't thought about it since you haven't brought it up? Once again, send the bill to HIS house and go from there. He said he'd pay for the classes, and a deal is a deal. (And what a nice gift, by the way! Good luck.)

Just come out and tell him. He's your boyfriend so you should be able to say anything to him. Tell him, I signed up for lessons that you said you'd pay for, here's the bill!
It doesn't matter that you have a job now, whether that means you can afford the lessons or not. He said he'd pay, now he needs to make good on his word. If he doesn't, now you know something about him.

Well, sounds like you both have communication issues. If you dont say anything, well it wont be an issue for him, however you will have a problem with it. So open your mouth and talk to him.

That is one of the reasons you should not be dependant on other people. My advice is to pay for your own music class. Your boyfriend is not your Dad or your husband to be paying for your expenses.

Don't you hate money? It always manages to make things awkward!

If your partner offered to pay when you weren't financially ready, I think he should follow through on his offer. Maybe he's hoping you've forgotten, or like you said, assumes that you will be paying because of your job.

You could leave the bill on the counter and say "Hey seeing I've got this new job, I can help out with this bill for my lessons. Thanks so much for helping me out to start earlier, I've really been enjoying it." You could then get out $50 or whatever you can afford to contribute and leave it for him to sort.

OR You could say "I got the bill for my classes today, there's definitely no way I could afford this on my own. I feel bad about you paying for them, maybe we should cancel them until I can afford them myself?"

Either way, you'd be confirming to him that you remember he offered to pay and expect him to, but you're also showing appreciation for his offer. Hopefully that's enough for him to want to keep his girl happy!

If not, ditch the guy and flirt with your music teacher!

Just kidding, good luck!