Does it seem reasonable that i REALLY dislike my parents (borderline hate)?

First off, this is a little bit of a life story (long sorry, but its all relevant), but i just need some perspective. My dad left my mom before i even started school, and she was left to raise my two brothers and I until i was in the 3rd grade. I was a little bit of a handful because i have ADD. My mom worked a lot and was a busy person, so we were pretty much left to raise ourselves. My mom met my step dad when i was around 10 and he was the biggest jerk i have known. At every corner when he asked her to do something she would always consult us, we would disagree, and she would do it anyways. She ended up getting married to him (we disagreed with), and at that point, we never saw her again. My mom and step dad were never around the house, i rarely saw them up until about a year ago. My step dad owned an auto repair shop and my mom owns a sign shop which i help/run. However, she did at a few points have a job working for some one else. My step dad is lazy, he didn't want to hire some one to do paperwork/accounting, nor was he going to do it, so he asked my mom to quit her job, she asked us, we were like NO, she did it anyways. My little brother is a follower, still is. We didn't really ever get any guidance, but my big brother and i turned out alright, but my little brother is sort of a mess, still is. He did whatever one of us did up until about high school, and started hanging around bad influences, but my mom didn't do anything about it, didn't guide him, just let it happen. So she is now so confused as to why he turned out like he did. Right, my step dads business, he ran it into the ground, and built up a ridiculous amount of debt in the process, they are scraping by right now, because my mom has no voice (figuratively) and my step dad is a moron. He was grossing around 200,000 for a couple years when business was good, and averaged a little above 100,000, but nothing they have is paid off. My step dad spends money he doesn't have, and always has, i didn't think my parents were those people. When i got my license, i was pretty much on my own even more, i've paid my way since then, and they didn't really give any financial support at all, i had planned to go to college, but i didn't make enough money to save, yet they didn't help out there ether. I hadn't really ever been very close to my mom, but did talk to her semi frequently in elementary school because of various test and such involving ADD and doctors visits. In high school i was taken off medication and doing well, at which point i pretty much broke off all contact with my mom, not that she was around anyways. So, graduated and was lost, a good deal of money later, a few school/institutes and found myself at a community college. Its been hard trying to pay for tuition and life by myself, but my parents are letting me live with them, and i'm thankful for that, but thats about all the aid it get. They own businesses, so its impossible for me to get financial help from the state or government. When we got those stimulus checks, they got the money, and did i see any of it for tuition or even books ??? nope. I am a very different person than my mom and after graduation i learned/figured out and extreme amount about life and hows things go on, so its very difficult to talk to her, i pretty much have to humor her any time we talk about anything, shes not really the smartest of people, yet she doesn't really do anything to further her knowledge ether, but she doesn't realize how much different of people we are, and is confused as to why we don't get along, yet does nothing to help the situation, and i get the feeling from her, that she thinks all our problems are my fault?? i'm her son, she should love me if i destroyed the world, yet in my years, i've caused the least if any amount of grief for my paresnts. I could buy more of my own food, but my mom feeds us all this crazy health food, but i'm practically malnourished, some fat in my diet would be awesome, shes not overweight for her age, she want to be in good shape, but doesn't really do anything about it. My dad, whom i don't really know, but we saw him every other weekend, and i was under his health insurance, so i can respect that. He doesn't claim us in his taxes, so his insurance is going to drop us. Instant solution to the problem should have been, ok, we'll until you graduate, he can claim you?? am i right.. well nope, solution is, your not going to have health insurance. I have psoriasis, and pretty bad allergies, they cause a lot of complications, so its pretty important to me to have health insurance, but apparently my mom doesn't think so. All three of us have ALWAYS hated my step dad, but my mom has never cared, he has never cared for us, and makes these stupid attempts at love. He ruined his relationship with his son, who pretty much hates him too. Nether my mom or step dad understand what love or family really is, yet they spin these guilt trips constantl

i do have a job, i don't hold anything against them i just with they would try to help the situation, i pay for ALL OF MY THINGS, besides housing, most of my food, school, life, college, internet, things for school, and have since i had a job. I thank all of you for your comments and help, i'm just trying to figure out how to bring any of this up.. Honestly, i'd rather just graduate move on, and then work on us once i have my life together. I'm not spoiled by any means, i understand it was hard for my mom for awhile, but then she disappeared. My mom and stepdad have only been happy together for a couple years now, they used to argue a lot.

They sound selfish self centered to me. I just had my first baby at age 45 (she is three now) and I adore her. I will always give her what she deserves and a proper upbringing! She is the most important thing in my life (family). But some people put their kids very low priority! I was adopted at about age 3. My natural father I have never known. My real mother didn鈥檛 even feed or put much clothes on us 3 kids. I met her and seen her half a dozen times during my life but never cared much for her. My adopted parents were sweethearts, loving, caring, and unselfish! I don't subscribe to this forgive and forget mentality and love your parents or family. I love for the people that SHOW IT. Love is action! Yes I can forgive if a person CHANGES their action and shows they are a real friend or family to me. I have done that with some family members. But if they show me nothing, I give them nothing either. My two brothers and sister had that forgive and forget approach to my real mom. One is an alcoholic, the other one has severe depression issues, another is a basket case, one is pretty normal. But they don鈥檛 see how their screwed up upbringing helped make them what they. Being abandoned, rejected, neglected, unloved has a profound affect on a child and carries with them as an adult. Yes you can overcome it, but I'm not going to pretend it didn鈥檛 happen and love them blindly. Love has to be deserved at least in some degree. Forgiveness is always possible though! Never lock your heart completely!

Sometimes it's reasonable. And for you it's reasonable because they must be stupid in a way.

Man! Okay first your mother sounds a bit like mine, as I grew up I came to realize she was a weak person who cowed down first to my father who was totally abusive then to my step father who was a wonderful loving man but very demanding. It's really not her fault that she was like that it's just the way she is and you have to except that.
As for your Step father he sounds like my father I don't blame your disliking or even hating him.
As far as medical insurance you may have to find a job with medical benefits and take a cut in pay which is really hard I know. If your not working apply at the state for Medicaid you may be eligible it just depends on your states rules some states are easier to get it in then others

I'm not much help but at least you know the type of person you don't want to be ! And that is like your parents/stepparents.
You sound like you are very level headed and have made good choices.
All these struggles, even as hard as they are, will make you a very strong person and you will more than likely not create these types of situations in your own life when you marry and have children.
I'm sorry you've had to go through this because you sound like a great kid ! But, learn from it and when you get married and have your own family make sure you enjoy, love and take care of one another.
It just sounds like you need to build your own life and move on.
Good luck to you !
Merry Christmas !

I went through a similar situation with my mother. Except i loved my step dad. he was my rock. My mother was and still is a drug addict and sometimes I hate her for it. But you know what. You only have one mother and in spite of everything she has done to I grew strong from that. It made me a better mom and wife. It made me also hate many people and things until I learned to live life and love it! People always have downfalls. It is up to you wehter you are going to let her downfalls control your life. You seem pretty level headed. Live you life and love it! In time maybe you can learn to forgive and love her inspite of herself. You will have to forgive at some point we all do. Otherwise we live with regret and guilt.
Good Luck and God Bless!

...or maybe youre a spoiled brat,that resents your mom dividing her time with her husband.youre not satisfied with the emotional connection they have.thry being freinds.ask your step dad how to make your mom happy...try it.

Everyone has some sort of emotional baggage from childhood the trick is to be able to let it go as much as possible and move on with your own life, you are living at their home right now and going to college but you do have spare time or you can make some, and get a job. Then when you have saved some money you can move out and buy your own food, etc. In the meantime make sure you are at least polite, after all they are under no obligation to you, and keep things peaceful until you have saved enough money to move out on your own but you absolutely do need to get a job ASAP.

This is all from my point of view:
Your mom was a single mother. She was working all day and she probably considered marrying another man would help lessen her financial load a bit as well. She had the option of keep living each day hardly seeing her children OR take a risk and hope this new (jerk) moron would allow her to spend more time with you guys. (Nothing is mentioned of what she did for a year so I'll assume she has been working hard) but was disappointed when the family went into debt. She SHOULD divorce this guy, who's draining away money. I reckon she'd be so dissappointed and burnt at out this point in her life from all her hard work. You should have a talk with you mom about all these concerns.. Even if she dosn't kick out the step dad, she'd understand all your pain and problems you went through all these years. Living in confusion sounds depressing for both you [wondering just what the heck is going on with her] and her [and why one of her children turned out like how he is, etc] Sitting down and talking it through alone could work. OR counselling is also another option.

It's easy to dislike someone, but it's hard to hold a grudge for a long time. Is it really worth it? especially if it has the chance to be resolved?