Need Advice, Underage Ex-girlfriend is Pregnant. Please Advise Me!?

Well, about a week ago my life took a sharp turn. My Ex-girlfriend called me up and told me that she has been off her period for two months now and that she has been gaining weight. I had her take a pregnancy test and she took four of them to be sure. Three came back positive and one came back inconclusive, she has a doctors appointment later this week but we are already pretty sure that she is pregnant. Here is where i'm in need of some guidance. I'm 18 and a freshman in college and she is 16 and a junior in high school, she will turn 17 before the baby is born and we haven't decided whether we are going to get back together or not but i still plan to be as involved as i possibly can, but i have several legality questions concerning this. Such as, whose last name will it take?, my responsiblities of the baby, and would this even be considered legal in Texas? I also have questions concerning different financial aid programs that are out their. I already have about six grand saved up from previous jobs and i plan to give 90% of this to her parents for financial help, i need the other 10% for gas money and other such necessities. I also plan on getting a job over the school breaks and during the summer and i plan on giving 90% of my paychecks to help pay for financial aid and keeping the other 10% for the same reason.I know both our parents will help out some, but i know this still won't be enough for the financial burden a baby brings and right now i really need to keep school a priority so i can hopefully give this baby what it deserves someday, so i was wondering about different programs such as WIC or welfare or anything else. I take this very seriously and i intend to step up to the plate and be a man about it. I plan to go to a planned parenthood center very soon, but any and every piece of information i can't get will be greatly appreciated. Thank You.

Oh, and also we live in different cities right now, as i'm off at college and she is back home. However, its a two hour drive back home and i'm free most of the weekends.

In some situations an unwed mother will give the baby her surname even if she knows who the father is. In other situation she will give the baby the fathers surname even more if she is extremely traditional or they know they will one day get married. In the end it鈥檚 her decision what surname the baby takes.

Your responsibilities are to be there for your child both financial and emotional. Pay child support. Also you will need to work out some sort of custody arrangement whether joint custody or visitations.

Its good you will be getting a job but you really need to get some type of employment for more then just school breaks and summer. You should get some form of job even if during the school year you just work part time on the weekends and or a few nights during the weekday, I would look around your school you might be able to find some job on campus school bookstore, Cafeteria, Computer Lab where you could work during hours you weren鈥檛 in class. I knew people who worked in the computer lab at my school and a good thing was that when it was slow they could get class work done or study.

As far as being legal I can only assume your talking about her still being a minor this is what wikipedia said for Texas - The age of consent in Texas is 17 (Texas Penal Code Section 21.11). However , "...It is an affirmative defense to prosecution under this section that the actor...was not more than three years older than the victim and of the opposite sex...(and) did not use duress, force, or a threat against the victim at the time of the offence" and is not a registered sex offender {Section 21.11(b)}. http://tlo2.tlc.state.tx.us/statutes/doc...


If you get back together let it be because you want too. Some people will tell you it鈥檚 the right thing to do but imo there is nothing worse then two people getting back together or staying together solely for a child or children. Sure most kids want their parents to be together but they also want their parents to be happy.

WIC is the responsibility of the mother, as it is for women (women, infants, children). So you won't have to worry about that.

Also, there's always the chance that she won't want to keep the baby.

I can't answer most of your questions, especially about it being legal because I don't live in Texas but as far as who's last name the baby get's that is up to you and your ex gf.

If you have 6 grand saved up you're doing great. I don't exactly think I'd tell the family that you have that much saved up though... she is not going to need that much to begin with, especially if she is on any kind of gov't programs. You might want to spread that out to giving them money each month you know? They might be angry and try to take advantage of that.

Here is a ton of info I posted on WIC that you can read.

Btw, you sound like a very responsible young man, for someone who had unprotected sex. At least you plan on taking care of your responsibilities. Good luck to you.

wow, thats tuff, i dont reallie have any advice that can help you, but that you are a really great guy doing and thinking of all of those things you want to do. KUDOS.!!


good luck..wish there were more guys like you in the world who wouldnt leave their ex's just pregnant and not helping her through it..

Well the baby will take your last name unless she says otherwise, I'd be scared that her parents will turn you in for rape. Not that your raped her, but it's still considered when your 18 and she isn't. She can get WIC until the baby is 5 years old, and trust me it helps a lot. She can't get welfare until she's 18 she might be able to get foodstamps as long as her parents dont make a lot. If she moves out and in with you then you two will qualify for food stamps, medi-cal, WIC and some kind of welfare. It's best if you two live together because then she can't get you for child support! Good luck and CONGRATS, I think!

Well I commend you for stepping up to the plate, I hope you mean that. Keep this in mind, this is YOUR baby, YOUR responsibility. I don't know how her parents will feel about this, or what the laws are regarding the age difference. If you were a minor when this happened, you might be ok, otherwise, you could be charged with statutory rape. I know if I was the parents of either of you two, I would not be very pleased.

Good luck, you are right, you should do everything with in your power to give the baby the best chances in life. And know that if you don't stay together, you just decreased her ability to find a "good man" dramatically.

JMO of course.

WIC is a wonderful idea. It would provide formula for the baby, but that's about it. WIC, stands for women, infants, and children. Women are 18+, and children are age 5 and below. So, the mother wouldn't receive benefits until she turns 18. After that, it'll provide basically all needed foods for the mother and child besides meat and bread. I don't know much about welfare, but I'm sure she'll also be able to receive some of the benefits, also. I can't answer anymore of your questions, I'm sorry. But, THANK YOU, for excepting responsibility, more guys should be like you.

Wow. This was obviously a mistake, but I feel very confident you are going to be a great father. Government aid is a good option while you are in school. I hope her parents are supportive and she will be able to attend college if she wants to as well.

Personally I believe children should have two parents. But I also don't think you should get married/be together solely because you are pregnant. My parents got married because they found they were pregnant with me and then got divorced when I was 9. It was far more traumatic going through the divorce in third grade, than it would have been if I'd never experienced them being together in the first place. I know this because I've asked people who's parents were divorced very young(when they were babies). It doesn't seem to be as traumatic because they don't know what theyre missing.

Good luck! And kudos on being such a great guy!

Oh and congratulations! I know its unexpected but if you embrace it, the child will be the best thing in your life.