Am I being a petty woman?

I am 5months pregnant and have been having a rough time with my child's dad. He argued with me in my home that I own, quit his job, and threatened my life on Thanksgiving. I called the police and they arrested him. Come to find out he is a fugitive in two states. I was going to recommend when we go to court that he go to parenting classes, instead of jail time. Last night some chick called my house and said she was pregnant by him, but had a miscarriage two days ago. I got tested this morning and am clear of AIDS (waiting for other results). I wasn't going to take him for child support, but because i feel trapped by him (I didn't want the baby). He was also still calling my house even through he has a protection order against him, I called the jail and told them to block his calls! Should I take a loser with nothing for child support, just because I want to! I am not going to allow him to see our daughter because he is a bad person and career criminal. I can afford to take care of her by myself, but just want to see him suffer. Am I being petty or do you think he deserves what he gets!

I have know him since high school (8 years)! He showed me all of his good qualities then once I got preggers the bad ones could not hide anymore! Everyone knows people show their representative, duh!

I think he deserves it and I think you are doing the right thing by not letting him see the baby. I think you should get away from him, get a restraining order, whatever necessary. It sounds like he is a dangerous man and he has no business with your child or with you. Keep your daughter safe and pleaseeee love her even though you didn't want her. These are the consequences of your actions and you are going to have to deal with them! And next time, think about what might happen if you sleep with someone.

I think you should make him pay child support. He will probably have to pay it anyway unless you go to court getting a court order saying he doesn't. But he should help take care of her. On another note, your child is not leverage in some game you want to play with him, if you want to make him suffer don't put your child in the middle of the battle.

Not only are you being petty but you're also vindictive, immature, and mean. I feel bad for the baby you're carrying. Unwanted and with two losers for parents. This poor, poor child to be.

YOU chose him to be the father. If you do not want to have a child give it up for adoption or have an abortion; don't make a child live a terrible life just because you wanted to see someone suffer.

Cut all ties honey. You'll get more gratification doing it on your own than you ever will from being spiteful. And if the baby asks about dad you just tell him/her that you'll discuss that when he/she's older. When the time comes you explain that you didn't think that he'd be a very good role model and you had to make a tough decision, you're sorry if it was the wrong one.

Depends. I think you should get child support, because that's his responsibility. But at the same time, if you can get away with not having any type of ties with this guy and can support the child on your own... let him walk away. Sometimes you have to do what is best for the child, and sometimes that's letting daddy go completely, no visitation, no support, no contact.

I would cut him off completly, you dont want this type of influence on your child, and he threatened your life!/!? wtf please dont give this child a unstable life. its your job to be a good mother, and raise a good person. we need more good people in this world if we ever want to get close to world peace. best of luck to you.

I don't think that's petty, but it does mean you will be tied to him forever - and I don't think you really want that. If it were me I would take steps to cut off all ties to the man and keep my child safe.

if i were you i'd want to stay as far away from him as possible, your kid too - if you can do that AND get child support, go for it - otherwise, just call it a loss

You said that you didn't want this child, anyway. Why not let him/her have a nice life, free of drama, with a family that is longing for a child?

Wow, you sure can pick 'em!

No, you don't learn instincts. That is an oxymoron. They are...instinctual - you're born with them. Or in your case - not.

Did it ever cross your mind that maybe just maybe you should have found out more about him BEFORE getting pregnant? Sounds to me like you are screwed. I'm sure everything will work out fine as you seem to have great judgment..NOT...

He sounds very dangerous to me. I wouldn't have anything more to do with him. He needs more than parenting classes. I'd move and not let him know where I live, frankly. He's TROUBLE.

I suggest you get on your knees sister and pray, pray, pray.

No, that is not petty. Your child has the right to be supported by both parents. It shouldn't have anything to do with being spiteful - it's about him having to take responsibility for creating a life with you, and to help that child have a better life.

However, if he is as bad as all that, and you are certain that you are capable of supporting the baby alone, you should really consider trying to get him to give up his paternal rights to the child. That way, he can never have any claims to visitation, custody, etc. If he is as rotten as he sounds, just tell him that if he gives up his rights, he will never ever have to pay child support (which is true), and that should convince him!

in all honesty if he pays child support then he can try for child custody, they take it all into consideration. It sounds like this a man that both you and your daughter can live without. Dont let him into your life, it will start with paying child support then he will want to see her because he's "paying" for her and may spiral.

Hes not worth it and like you said you can support your child by yourself, if she wants to find her dad when she is older then fine but leave it until then, shes not going to know any different.

You can try to keep you ex away, but let's face it - you didn't conceive asexually. Your baby has half of his DNA, which means he has rights. He'll most likely fight to get some kind of visitation, be it supervised or otherwise, and there's a good chance he'll win.
Go back and reread what you wrote. You're keeping a baby you don't want, and using her to make your ex suffer. That's pretty sick and immature of you. You are in no way, shape, or form fit to be a mother. Give that poor baby away to loving parents who truly want her before the state intervenes and takes her from you. Considering you don't seem to have a maternal bone in your body, it's only a matter of time before DSS puts your child in foster care anyway. Why not cut out the middle man and give the child the life she deserves?
*ETA* LOL, no thanks. I'd rather not get your skanky crabs. You also may want to haul out the Sesame Street videos and review your numbers.
You're using a child you admitted yourself you don't even WANT as a pawn to get back at your ex. It doesn't take a psychic to tell that you're going to fail as a mother.

How does that old saying go? "You lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas."

Sure take an unemployed loser to court for support and then spend years tryng to get him to pay. Haven't you already spend enough time and energy on this person? I mean it's your right to go after him for support and the court will award you support. It doesn't make you petty but you need to examine you decision making skills when it comes to choosing men. That's all I'm going to say about that!

Good luck to you and your child.