I'm so confused about separation!?

I separated from my husband 5 mo. ago after he revealed to me he called an escort service and had sex w/ a hooker for $100.00. He was concerned he had aids and we both got tested...thank God all is negative. I moved in w/ my parents, we had been living w/ his parents after we lost our house to foreclosure. He said he is truly sorry but I took off. We have a 6 yr. old little girl. We have been married for 8 yrs. and he has flirted w/ other women online and a coworker before. I am devastated and I'm also in the middle of my internship ..I graduate this May from college...degree in education. I'm 32 yrs. old and I can't accept this adultery...I feel like he doesn't let me grieve..one month ago he told me he already got over it, he doesn't remember her face, that I should move on and try to get back w/ him. For the sake of our daughter we are gonna get counseling but I do not trust him any more. He hangs out w/ his younger brother who also has put his wife thru crap and goes to clubs. I have mixed feelings, I don't want to be with him over what he has put me thru but I also get upset if he's talking to other women. Whats' wrong w/ me?

it seems like you do want to be with him..but you can't get over what he's done. that's normal. try the counseling..see if it helps. but if you do decide that you don't want to be married to him anymore..don't stay not even for the sake of your daughter. she'd be better off with two parents that are happy even if they're divorced than if you stay with him and are unhappy.

Nothing wrong with you.

The question is, what's wrong with him? He obviously don't take marriage very seriously. He is acting like an 18 year old immature kid.

Make him go to plenty of counseling and be sure he has changed before you even think of giving him another chance.

Good luck. Take care of that little girl. If you ever need a friend, email me.

stay away from him for the mean time while you can concentrate on your graduation. Let him be a man whore if that is what he is looking for. You need time to think this through and he needs the time as well.

answer mine
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Nothing's wrong with you. You're grieving the end of the relationship. You are right not to trust him. Go for divorce but make sure he pays child support.

divorce him

nothing wrong with you honey...finish school , get a job and ignore your husband. Borrow money for an attorney...and tell hubby to communicate thru him. Focus on your life...not his!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1. Disregards your feeling about how you want to deal with it 2. You know about this one time 3. Never okay to get into a relationship for a child 4. What made him do it? Does he blame you or does he take responsibility? 5. Infidelity is a red flag that something even bigger is wrong 6. Do you want to stay with him out of fear? 7. Are you 100% confident it won't happen again? 8. Has it happened before? 9. Are you willing to stake your life for him? (AIDS) 10. Nothing is wrong with you-innocent parties tend to blame themselves for their spouses idiocy 11. He should be willing to do whatever it takes to make you trust him again (i.e. talking to other women and going to clubs) 12. You are right to not trust him-he is putting you through hell and is going to continue to 13. You will not always live with your parents 14. You are stronger than you think 15. Congratulations on getting your degree!!!!!!!!

Hi there. Separation is tough and takes a long time to get over. I am 9 months in to my ex of 18 years leaving and 13 months from the first time that he said that he was going to leave.

My only advice would be take it step by step and make sure that you not only get counselling together but also counselling and support for you.

The activities that he going through to me indicate that he does not really feel ready to settle back down and certainly not to win you back. For that to happen I would have thought that he would need to earn your trust again rather than hanging out with a younger guy (even if it is his brother) and someone who seems to have the same habbits that are not acceptable in marriage or a relationship.

there's nothing wrong with you, in fact I think that the stability that you are showing is amazing.

Keep strong and prioritise your life. I would have thought (from my experience) that this needs to be somewhere in the following order:

Your 6 year old girl - separation is tough on them
Yourself - if you are not strong and comfortable then this will be harder looking after your daughter
Your education - ensure that you graduate - you have worked hard at this for quite some time and this will ensure that you have a solid education behind you that will stand you in good stead as a single parent, back with him (if this occurs) or in another stronger healthier relationship later.

The advantage of a qualification in eduction (at least in Australia) is that you get to work school hours - so this is a wonderful choice given that you have a daughter and the ability to work school hours and have potentially longer holidays and breaks.

I would certainly not make any fast decisions.

Keep safe - put yourself and your daughter first.

Thinking of you - keep strong
Kate