Can someone please edit my essay?

Social workers work to create a change towards equality, justice, human rights, and the well-being of all individuals. This includes, but is not limited to, the most helpless in society, the disadvantaged, poor, vulnerable and oppressed individuals. Social workers empower individuals with the tools necessary to achieve their goals and live their lives to the fullest. We must devote our lives to helping create a more equitable society. All individuals have a fundamental right to live decent, dignified, and fulfilling lives, but society is structured in a way that not all individuals have equal access to food, housing, education, and employment. As social workers, it is our responsibility to ensure that individual needs are met so people can be more self-sufficient and able to make the best possible choices for themselves.
Just as individuals have basic biological needs that they have to satisfy in order to function, meaningful relationships are also vital to satisfy their emotional, physical, security, social and educational needs. Relationships lay the foundation of support in the lives of every individual. However, the family is also the primary source of support for individuals when dealing with problems in their lives. Some families have external and financial resources to help them with their problems, while many others do not. Often problems arise within a family or a relationship from a lack of communication. Relationships affect and influence everyone around us and they help us learn from each other, enabling us to build a mutually beneficial relationship with those around us who are less fortunate than we are and aid them in seeking a more equal society. A strong relationship means strong support, and strong support means that individuals will be aided and helped when in need. Strong support is good for the well-being of individuals everywhere, even to us as social workers. We need to strengthen relationships to help each other get along with family that provides for individuals鈥?well-being.
I believe that every human being is important, and, therefore, should be respected for his or her unique qualities and characteristics. We can readily understand that others hope to be treated fairly and equally under the law and in their daily lives. It is logical that we would hope that others recognize that we want the same things for ourselves. As social workers, we have a number of ethical responsibilities toward our clients. First of all, we need to have the training and tools to support them in their personal growth and development. Secondly, we need to be able to describe viable choices for them, given their current skill level and help them to attain improved skill levels. Finally, we need to guide them towards the recognition that the greater the knowledge, the broader the spectrum of choices we have. Most of all, we also need to lead them to the understanding that freedom of choice ultimately translates to living life to the fullest. If we all work together for the common good of the vulnerable and oppressed individuals, then we can create a fairer and more equitable society. The fruits of our labor will then provide freedom, justice, and peace for all.
An ethical core value that is important for social workers to have is integrity. This is the standard of deciding what is right and wrong and what each of us ought to do usually in terms of rights and obligations, benefits, common good, least harm, and social justice for all individuals. These are all central to what social workers want to create en equal Social workers must adhere to the ethical principles of integrity on maintaining a high code of behavior, honesty, trust, being respected, and having a sense of justice and fairness. Being honest and having integrity can be guide for everything that one does. What to do when no one is watching, knowing the difference between doing the right thing and wrong thing, and keeping your word are all examples of integrity. These are attributes that social workers should practice as professionals and in their everyday lives. Having integrity is respected both in personal and professional relationships .One needs to display a certain amount of sincerity and morals when working with clients. A social worker, specifically, must uphold the highest level of morality and maintain that level when other people try to challenge their views and test their wills. When social workers are challenged with ethical situations, they have to maintain a sense of integrity to their profession, ethics, and principles. We need to understand that clients have different values and beliefs from our own and as social workers we have to be open to learning about these differences and behave in an ethical manner.

Just glancing over it, your grammar seems to be pretty strong (which is rare nowadays--kudos to you!). One thing that bugs me, though--your paragraphs are really huge...do you need a set number of them or can you cut them into 2 or 3 smaller paragraphs? I don't know if this is for school or for work or what, but I know most teachers don't like loooooong paragraphs.

Are you allowed to use personal pronouns, then, I'm assuming? Just asking, as my teachers are constantly badgering us about not using "I," "we," "you," things like that.

For the most part you have good transitions too, which are also rare.

There are a few sentences that I had to read a few times to understand, but for the most part it's pretty good. I'd go more in-depth but I don't have any time...sorry :(

I have not read your whole essay...but I do have a couple of suggestions for the beginning. The second sentence should come after the third sentence. Also,I would take out "we"...

i have no idea what ur teacher is asking for, but whenever i have written a paper, the thesis statement is at the end of the first paragraph. also, in paragraph one, state 3 ideas that u are going to expand on. the following 3 paragraphs are extensions of those ideas. the final paragraph is obviously ur conclusion, so just wrap up and integrate all of ur ideas.
if u already know all this, sorry for repeating. however, i did not notice this format in ur paper. i guess it also depends on how long ur paper is supposed to be.