She is not thinking straight!!!?

Okay so... My sister is 26, single, parties and drinks and smokes a lot and has a lot of different partners at the same time even when she is in a relationship. She has a life long STD because of it.

She said all her friends are married and having babies, all her co-workers are married and having babies. And now I am 23 and getting married and having my first baby (I am 8 months along)...

She said now she wants a baby and she was dating this guy for 3 months and he broke up with her. Then they were on a temporary "friends but having sex basis". She told me she wanted a baby and she also decided to not be on birth control and she decided she was going to try to get pregnant with that guys baby so he would stay with her and because she simply wanted a baby.

Well it backfired on her... She got pregnant but with the wrong guys baby. A guy she called "a booty call". It also turns out that this booty call may have another girl pregnant as well. The booty call will not return her calls, will not talk to her and she is facing being a single mother. She is a little over a month pregnant and has not even gotten prenatal vitamins or gotten a OB/GYN and I am very worried.

I do not feel she is being responsible, reasonable and thinking straight. She took the plan B pill when she was already a month pregnant, I am guessing to kind of "self abort" Well she bled when she took it but she is still having positive pregnancy tests so I do not think it worked and I fear that she caused damage to the embyo which is probably still alive.

Now let me explain something about her... She is kind of a "I want what you have" and "I want all the attention on me" kind of person. I feel it is because she is insecure. Our 60 year old father had a baby with our stepmother nearly 2 years ago. Since then my sister has been insisting that the child is not his and she cheated on him... she has no proof of it and I feel she is jealous. My father bought our stepmother a new BMW for Christmas and my sister called my father upset that he bought his wife a car and she demanded that he buy her a car also. Which my father did and she ended up crashing the car so now she has no car at all. I thought it was rediculous! When my father was going to help me out with college she called him pissed of and was jealous that he was going to be spending money on me. My father never did help me with college, I ended up paying out of pocket for a lot of the costs and I am still paying it off.

I am pretty independent, I left home at 18, I moved to a new state on my own with money I saved when I had a job through highschool, I bought my own car and I take care of myself. I also distance myself from my family because I don't always find them easy to be around.

A part of me feels like she was jealous that I was having a baby and getting attention and gifts and she wanted the same. I only feel this way because of some of the things she has said and the way she has acted. She said a lot of rude things about my baby, my fiancee and I that lead me to the conclusion that it was jealousy. She went to visit my mother and grandmother for Christmas, I did not because my fiancee was unable to come and I did not want to leave him... Well my sister complained and got upset and said that they spent her entire vacation going in to baby stores and buying or looking at items to buy their first grandchild and great grandchild. She actually left early because of it.

I feel like she could not stand the fact that I was getting gifts and atttention and that is part of the reason why she got pregnant. I don't understand why she could not be happy for me and let my family be happy for me.

I do not feel she is thinking straight and I feel she is not ready for this and got pregnant for a very wrong reason. And I deeply worry for this child.

She has no car, hardly works, spends all her time in bars, can hardly support herself. Now she is on food stamps and goverment aid and she does not take care of herself so how can she care for a child????

My mother still sends her money regularly and sadly... She already admitted that she will be relying on the government and our mother to support her and this child.

I am worried for her and this baby. I don't know how to express this to her because I know what her reaction will be. I feel she has no idea what she is in for and I have no idea what to do or say. Being a single mother will not be easy and the way she lives is not going to be healthy for a child.

What would you do or say????

You and I sound similar. I'm in the same boat with my family and your sister reminds me of my brother. He can't get pregnant and I'm not pregnant but I was so drawn to this question because, honestly, I get the whole thing.

Anyway, I've gotten to the point where I try gently discussing my take on situations like this. If that doesn't work, I push a little bit harder. If that still doesn't work, I just lay it all out. Blunt, natural and to the point.

The most important thing to remember in ths situation, though, is that you just can't change people. It took me a long, long time to come to that conclusion. It's true. If it doesn't work then you just have to let it go and do what is best for you. If you can't let it go you can always keep trying to get through to her but since she sounds so much like my brother I'm guessing her response will be something similar to either sticking her head in the sand or plugging her ears and singing 'la la la la la' at the top of her lungs.

Having dealt with this kind of thing for so long I just skip straight to being a ***** because easing into things has, and this is well tested, never worked for me at least once.

I hope everything works out for you and I'm sorry your sister has such trouble seeing beyond her own life and issues. Hopefully, some day, something might snap her out of it.

Good luck.

It seems that she may have deeper emotional issues based on her behavior at 26 years old... I guess the most important thing for you to do is to be there for her and help her the best you can. If you act as her friend in a caring and loving, genuine way I think it would get the best reaction from her but in the meantime maybe have your mother or one of your sisters friends sit down and have a serious conversation with her- if you think she won't listen to you...maybe if you suggest you both join parenting classes or something together it would put her in touch with reality. She really needs to go to the doctor to find out if the baby is okay.. if she is getting away with all of this and no one is saying anything it's time now that everyone needs to get serious with her. Don't take no for an answer, she needs help for the baby.

Sweetheart she is the type of person that cant be told. She needs to either fall flat on her face or have this baby which may wake her up. The fact that she took that pill, she might not even be pregnant anymore. The HCG hormone stays in the body for at least 4 to 6 wks after a baby is gone. I really would if i was you concentrate on yourself and your family. I know it might sound harsh because shes your sister and you love her but sometimes its the tough love that works the best. You are worrying about her and to the point where you feel helpless. You feel like this because you see that she really wont listen and it make take a really long time for her to wake up. Good Luck

first of all the plan b did not hurt the baby.... what plan b does is make the uterus lining thin so the egg can not implant and grow but if a fertilized egg aka baby is already there it can do nothing to it or to get rid of it .... it is only to prevent unwanted pregnancy nothing to do with it after a pregnancy is already there that is why it did not work..... sounds like you have a hard sister to deal with i would suggest talking to your mom and have your mom talk to here because your mom can let her know more about what being a mom is about and some people are irresponsible be for having kids and the baby makes them turn around and then aging some times not..... and the baby already has a loving aunt... congrads.....

sounds like you have already tried to help her and she thrown it back at you????? you sud get on wiv ur own life now and leave her to make her own mistakes.

good luck and have a lovley wedding and hope the birth goes well.

i would just pray for her and leave it in god's hands there's nothing you can really do honestly some people choose the way the want their life to be so don't worry about her just to care of your house hold she'll be fine give it to the lord

wow, thats a lot to read and take in, sounds like she will pay for her mistakes on her own, she wants this baby and yet has no means to take care of it. I dont undertsand why people act like this but they do. You are going to have to back away and let her figurr things out, bc if you and your family allow her to behave this way and i mean accept her acting this way she will only continue it, when she feels alone maybe then she will come to her senses.

I wish you luck. and congrats on your baby!

this question really scares me because the way you just described your sister is exactly the same way my sister is. except she already had a baby and doesnt know what shes doing as a mom, i had to raise my nephew until she decided that he was to attached to me and took off with him, well she had him living in all kinds of unstable environments and now he's a very needy little boy and he gets upset with every little thing, and you can see the emotional effects it has had on him. well the father of her baby got out of jail they moved in together ( my nephew hates this guy), but they have since seperated, but before the seperation she felt like the relationship was ending, so she got pregnant hoping that it would fix things, but it hasnt the father already has a new girl friend and refuses to talk to her about any thing other then my nephew, well right after she found out she was pregnant she was so ' depressed' that she started smoking alot of weed, and was refusing to eat , and when she did she would make herself throw up, well im so scared for this new baby because im worried it will be effected by the way shes taking care of herself, she doesnt even want to have this baby, but she 100% against abortions, so this child is going to suffer due to her fu**** selfish ways.
any ways i want to wish you good luck with your situation, trust me i know its hard, just hang in there and try to be there for your new neice or nephew as much as you possible can, so they have some stability in their lives.