Significant Other/Fiance Attending Step-Child Doctor Appointment?

Hello.
I am the significant other of a man for over 2 years. He has a son with down syndrome. My significant other and I attend his son's special needs school, activities, etc. My signigicant other wants to begin attending the docotor appointments his son's mother schedules. My significant other wants me to attend as well. However, this morning, my significant other received an email from his son's mother stating that "attendance of doctors appointments is parent's only?" I would like to know if that is a fact.

Also, my significant other had to fight with her to get an DNA test and to get visitations. She has another man in her life that was with my significant other's son when he was born. This man has attending everything with the son and now that my significant other wants me to also attending, she is fighting against.

I would also like to add that I have done every court requirement that my significan other had to do such as Infant CPR, First Aid, Parenting Class (since this is his first child at 42), and additional programs.

Thanks for you help

My significant other only dated his son's mother for 3 months. Then several months down the line he finds out that she is pregnant. So there was no long term relationship with them. My SO ended the relationship due to his experinece of her raising her other 2 children in the presence of him - which was inappropriate for a mother.

that's an odd situation
you would think she would appreciate having another adult who cared so much for her son in his life....I mean, your significant other could have decided to date women who treated his son poorly but instead the little boy lucked out and got you, a nice lady

my father and mother divorced when I was 1
and my father took majority custody of me
he never re-married
however he has had the same girl friend for almost 16 years now
she stayed at home with me while my father worked
she raised me
and as far back as I can remember, she was the only one of my "parents" who attended any of my doctor appointments
-my father and mother were never there-
of course, there were some legal complications
but they got a court-signed document which allowed her to make medical decisions for me at doctor's appointments, dispite the fact that she and my father never married, therefore she otherwise had no legal rights over me

Wow. If he thought she was,"inappropriate as a mother," or, in proper English, a bad mother, he really should have used better birth control.

If she likes to fight about everything, well, that leaves you two options. Fight about everything or pick your battles. Is it really important that you be at his doctor's appointments if your SO is? Not really. He can easily tell you what happens.

I wouldn't find it necessary to fight. I also think it's a bit much for four adults to accompany this child to the doctor.

I am not sure exactly, BUT I do know a when married the step parent can add the child to health insurance. So, I would think this would entitle the step parent to take the child to the doctor.

My husband is not my son's father but he has taken him to many appts.

You are not the parent so therefore are declared a legal stranger under the law. Harsh as it may sound, you have no rights to this child just because Dad would like you to.

You can go, but you will have to wait in the waiting room.

dont know answer about dr appt but if you love him do what you can mildred is my leader

I would let her know that it is important for everybody to be there because of his special needs. Both you and her boyfriend are around the child and it would be benefit the child for everybody to be involved in the appointments. My son is ADHD and Bipolar and has to see the doctor every other month regarding his medication. I am divorced from his father and remarried. He is also remarried and we all participate in the appointments. Not only the medical appointments, but also any conferences with the teacher or counselor. I think it benefits my son if we are all on the same page. I would also have a woman to woman talk with her letting her know that you would never try to take her place as a mother and only want what is best for the child.

Good luck to you.