Got any `Good News` `Bad News` jokes...../?

Guy walks into a doctors....and the doctor says to him...
"I`ve had the results of your tests back..and I`ve got some good news and bad news for you
"What`s the bad news
"You`ve got Aids"
"Then what`s the good news?"
"You`ve got Alzheimer's"
"Thank god...for a minute ,I thought you were going to say I`ve got Aids"

A woman has had a serious car accident. Her husband rushes to the hospital as soon as her hears about it.

When he arrives, the doctor says to him
"Ok, sir, I've got some good news and some bad news."

"What's the bad news?"

"You're wife is a vegetable. She cannot move, see, hear. You will have to care for her 24/7 and always be by her side. You will have to dress her, wash her, change her nappy. She will scream every night in pain which will mean you will never sleep."

"Oh my god" replies the man..."what's the good news?"

"Ah, I'm just f*cking with you. Your wife's dead..."

Dave answers the telephone, and it's an A&E doctor.

The doctor says: "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."

Harry says, "My God. What's the good news?"

The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."

Guy gets a phone call from his doctor, Doc says "ive got bad news and worse news"
"whats the bad news"?
"youve got 1 day left to live"
"oh no, how can there possibly be worse news then that?"
doc says "we tried to call u all day yesterday to tell u"

The Doctor walks into the patients room and sez he has good new and bad news.
The guys tell him 'give me the bad new first'
Dr. Said 'we cut off the wrong foot'
Patients says 'whats the good news'
Dr. says " there is someone here who wants to buy your shoes"

Bad News - J. Ross appointed Chancellor of the Exchequer.

Good News - Andrew Sachs appointed Prime Minister for life.

Doc: I have some good news and bad news for you
patient: what is it?
doc: you're gonna have a disease named after yourself

ha ha lol
I new a blond who called me to get my phone number
what did the blonds left leg so to her right nothing they've never met.

good knews is i found a cure for your flesh eating disease!
bad news is, i forgot while playing playstation!

Bad news ... The chinese are going into space
Good news ... All of them.

HEHE.

nice

A guy woke up seeing an old man in a very white clothes:

Old Man: Hey, I have Good and Bad new for you

Good News: Many people gave you gifts

Bad News: They were all flowers, flowers in your burial

The Man is dead and he's in heaven... LOL

google it