Single mother of one in a abusive relationship needs help finding out what resources are available.?

Hi, I live in the Kansas City area and am currently in a abusive relationship with the father of my 10 month old child. I am completely dependent on him financially. I have been applying to jobs, and haven't been able to land one. My plan is as soon as the lease is up (next month) I will go to a shelter since I have been unable to find work. I was thinking of going to Nursing School. I have been researching what type of resources are available for somebody in my situation. I haven't been able to find a lot.

Also, I have been trying to find out what type of legal aid might be available since there will likely be a custody battle. We are not married. He has a good job, and recently has come into a large sum of money. I have no money, he spent my savings. Also, he is a drug addict (cocaine/marijuana/alcohol), but doesn't have a police record. I do not have any documentation of the abuse. I'm very scared that I will loose my daughter. I have a history of depression, he says if I leave him that he will use that against me in court. He says that I'm the only woman he has ever hit, and that it will never hold up in court, because he will have his ex-girlfriends testify that he was never been violent with them.

If I could get him drug tested, I think he would just clean up for the test. You can have cocaine out of your system fast, and marijuana in a few weeks. If he know that we are going to court, I know that he will just stop using drugs until after the hearing.

Any advice is welcome, thank you so much.

Unless he is bald, get a hair sample and they can test it for drugs. The hair test is better because it can document the length of time of drug use. Good luck.

Go to Your Doctor, Who will Find you a Social Worker, or any DHS Office, I all Fails Just Walk into Police Station and State Your Problem to Them, they Will Direct you to the Appropriate Office for Help. Good Luck, and Take Care!

Call 800.799.SAFE for a local referral.

It's unlikely you will lose custody, but likely he will get visitation.

Next time he leaves. You need to go. U and your child. Go to a shelter now. Waiting can be dangerous.You are in my prayers

Hon, you do need to get out of there just as soon as you can..... why are you waiting for the lease to be up?? While he's at work, start squirreling your things out of the house either into a storage unit or to a friend's house or a family member's basement. He is saying and doing all the things that he thinks will scare you enough to stay. Don't listen to him..... that's his own fear and insecurity talking.

Your biggest mistake (other than staying with this guy long enough to have a child with him) was to NOT call the polive on him when he get violent with you. I wish women would learn to stop protecting these ba$t@rd$. Anyway, if he does anything violent to you between now and the time you leave, CALL 9-1-1 !!!!!

Do not talk to him anymore about leaving, about where you are going, about a custody fight.... nothing. Surprise him by being gone. very soon, and don't tell him you are leaving. When you are accepted into a shelter, I can just about guarantee that he will threaten, schmooze, sweet-talk, etc. Don't listen and don't go back. Get into domestic violence classes at the shelter where you go.

I have included a smattering of some resources below. You didn't say if you live in Kansas or Missouri, or if that even makes a difference. Utilize the resources you have at hand and get yourself on track. Best wishes to you, sweetie!

ok.

#1 leave. wait until he passes out from a drug binge. take you child and go. only leave with what you can carry. to try to pack etc will give him a clue ur leaving.

#2 run to the nearest police station. they have resources to take you to a shelter. do not wait until a lease is up. ur credit is shot anyway. also dont worry about custody at that moment. get somewhere safe 1st for you and baby. if you dont feel comfy going to the police go to a church that helps mothers....you will be surprised at how helpful they can be. as for your depression if you are on meds take them with you. all other evidence of your depression destroy it. burn the paperwork if you can. take only what you need to take care of yourself. if he hit you b4 he passed out have someone take a picture to document it. also find a recent loose hair or considering he's such an addict, he might be urinating anywhere. place some plastic wrap over the toilet to catch the urine then put it in a bottle of some kind. and take it with you.

#3 but LEAVE.......DONT WAIT

You need to start document every single incident of abuse. You need to call the police and ask them where the nearest shelter is. If he is going to expect to have any visitation you have the right to have him drug tested.
Don't hesitate to see a dr. for your depression. It's treatable and most judges would rather award a child to a parent who KNOWS they're depressed and seeking help than to a parent who is depressed and doing nothing about it. Good luck with this.