Am I gay? Need answer quick!!!?

I am a diabetic male who is 21 years of age. I was diagnosed with diabetes after I drank too much cough syrup which caused diabetes due to my body not producing enough insulin. I was addicted to cough medicine, it was my life. I would drink an 6 estimated cough syrups bottles throughout the day but usually more. I took up to 8 bottles of cough syrup one time. That is not during the day, in one sitting. I was addicted the the only thing that mattered to me was tripping balls. The high was so great and the price was cheap. It didn't matter how many times I vomited the medicine up and shoved it down my throat again so I would not waste any. It was a foolish and irresponsible thing to do and now I realized chugging cough medicine did not make me cool. In addition to diabetes, I have also been diagnosed with sexual dysfunction. I can no longer get erect and have intercourse.

I feel terrible that this happened. Nothing will make me erect anymore. I have tried masturbation, sex toys, vibrating dildos in the anal cavity, viagra, cialis, porn, and various other forms of stimulation. All unsuccessfully. In rehab I thought back to a time when I was desperate for my fix. I needed insulin to cure the itch. I guess I was under its grip - I was addicted. I had been clean for 2 months but I was still in rehab. I remembered it felt like I was going to die due to the lack of insulin. I was so desperate that I prostituted myself out to a man and I let him have anal sex with me without a condom. He was very large - about 6'5 and of course he was large in another way. I bled for almost a week afterward and could not defecate due to the pain. They pumped my colon and I tested positive for AIDS - all through anal sex.

I never knew this could happen and my health has been deteriorating due to the pain it has caused me and I can no longer bear for others to see me in this state. I will never forgive myself for what I did. I know it was wrong but there is no changing the past. I am who I am today - even if I am a pathetic human being. I am so angry for sinking so low and letting Larry, a co-worker nonetheless, take my anal virginity. Since I recalled this horrific event, the question has been eating alive at me. Am I gay? I realize I had sex with a man but I needed to get off. I didn't enjoy it and I am so sorry it happened. Everyday I pray for God's forgiveness and healing but it does not come. I cannot live with myself if I really am a butt-loving homosexual. If my parents ever found out, they would disown me. I told a friend and I was forced to move due to harassment from the Church. They gathered a mob outside my house and told me they didn't want a drug addict and butt pirate in their peaceful town. Everyone was afraid of me. I was alone in this town and whenever I would walk down the street and people saw me they would run inside trying to get away from me. Am I gay ? Please I need to know, I am so ashamed....Am I a bad person for what I did? Sometimes I feel the world would be better without a pathetic homosexual like me.

The story is not fake, I am real and experiencing this situation right now. My life is sharply going downhill and I am working 2 full time jobs to pay for my medication. Every day is a struggle to stay clean. If I become addicted to cough medicine again then I will die. If I cannot afford my insulin due to my addiction I will die and go through withdrawal. The story may seem fake to you but it is happening to me. I understand you are not going through it but I am and it makes my life absolute hell. I cannot bear to go through this much longer. I beat myself up everyday about this. I have insomnia now due to the nightmares due to imagining that scene again. It was a choice between dying without insulin and suffering withdrawals from Robotussin and Coricidin Cold and Cough which would kill me. IT IS REAL. I AM EXPERIENCING IT. I experience it everyday. No matter what you believe/think it is happening to someone and they suffer everyday due to a life and death decision.

Your sexual orientation really does not have an impact on you being a pathetic person, I mean there are plenty, PLEEEEENTY of pathetic heterosexual people in this world, like the people from your old town.

So, just think of all the non-pathetic things you are going to do with the rest of your life and bam, the world is a better place with you.


Keep your head up!

TMI!!! Too much information! SYSTEM OVERLOAD: INITIATE PROTOCAL G4Y: Yes.

gee whiz dude .being gay is the least of your troubles. you have no common sense and that has nothing to do with gay or not.

Nah Mate you didn't enjoy it and you(hint) *PROSTITUTED* yourself so you did it only for money so your not gay mate.

it sounds to me like your just lonely and having same sex disires, try just calming down and ask god for guidence.

we all have things we regret, if its something that is not part of your life anymore or did not even enjoy then i would say your strait.

Your story sounds made up. However cats cure all.

yeah, you're pretty homo.

Ive heard its only gay if you kum, might fall under that rule

yahhh sorry

Cool story bro.

YEs.

I am so sorry.

Wow

I agree. Good story, brah.

Why do I not believe this?

are you crazy? wtf man. if you have to ask if you are gay, you're probably gay

Wow! just.... wow

yes

pretty gay i would say

well mate why would u prostitute urself in the first place and then he wasnt wearing a condom???? wtf man

Hi:
What a story I don't buy it.
Buy Viagra.
Talk to your family Doctor

watch gay porn if u get a ***** ur gayif not ur strait

No way are you a bad person. Myself and many others have NOTHING against homosexuals. Personally I do not feel the way you do but it is who you are.

People out there are assholes never listen to them just listen to yourself. Ya life sucks but I believe you can make it through.

Knew I had seen this question before in another category. I guess I kind of agree with Jarrod, who answered you in "Other - Family and Relationships" in this way:

[Don't know if you are gay or not, but you seriously need help.
8 months ago you answer Judie H, a 14 year old, to "prostitute yourself".
Your answer to Former Atheist one year ago regarding Jesus (MY SAVIOR!) was "Jesus made Pedophilia aka: NMBLA. Watch your *** at mass"
You admit to being an atheist to Desiree one year ago.
One year ago you told The Asker that "Christianity is a cult of child molesting perverts. Would you like to join ? That will be $5."
You answered to the question "Is Hell really a real place? How do you get jesus christ to save you? Does Baptism help with being saved?" that "Heaven and Hell don't exist ! Newsflash buddy following a book is stupid. The Bible is not real. You probably are already in a "hell" of your own due to your own stupidity..."
(BTW - the Bible is real, and so is its message. Demons even believe in Jesus and tremble at the sound of his name. James 2 in any real Bible)
You also said that My Lord spent Easter Vacations, "B***ing all the virgins in heaven..." (I won't even repeat that)

And then there is your own question about you having sex with your stuffed animals

Anyway, If you are truthful in that " Everyday I pray for God's forgiveness and healing" the forgiveness has happened, regardless of your past blasphemies. You would need to forgive yourself. Seek spiritual help from a Bible believing church. Don't believe any Christian church would call you a "Butt Pirate"

And finally, either this will really tick you off, or you will thank me. I will pray for you. Get this buddy!!! I AM GOING TO PRAY FOR YOU MR m0nkeysinab4rrel EVERYDAY. YOU BETTER WATCH IT. GOD IS COMING FOR YOUR SOUL, unless he already has it.
Source(s):
THE HOLY BIBLE]

Thought maybe I would see his answer here as well. If it comes later, sorry Jarod. Give him the credit. And thanks for giving God the Glory.
I will be praying for you also, m0nkeysinab4rrel.

it was bad that u did those bad things... but u cnt hav wat u call a ***** so... yes i hate to tell u but ur gay ... not to be offensive but if u knew u shudnt have done all those things then thats ur sin and itrs going to carry u into hevn im sure god has forgivn u but dont do it again so u dont make him more mad. i hope u liv longer then evr so dont stress liv life as usual as possible im sorry for ur disorder k and hav a good lif k

You have done alot of growing up in such a short time in your life. Do not hate your self or down your self in any way. You realize what you did in the past and know it was wrong and have learned from it even though it cost you more than you will know. I can not say that I know how you feel cause I have never been in that situation. There will be people that can not imagine your situation cause they never had to do with out and had every thing handed to them. By what you are saying you are doing so much more than a whole lot of people in this world. You are not a lazy person, you are working two full time jobs and paying for your own medications and not relying on the state like so many others. Shame on any one that puts you down for opening up to us on yahoo answers. I comend you for working so hard to improve your life and paying the price now for your bad decisions you made in the past. Now for all them people that hid from you or ran away from you-I do not judge others but I believe they will not be taking the elevator up when they pass on. The hell with them idiots! NO you are not gay. When any one is going threw a addiction with drugs it causes them to do things they normally would not do. So no you are not gay. Please do not talk about ending it all to rid your self of the pain. People have to work at things in life, you will have to work harder to over come the past you created in your life in order to get over your pain. You are definately on the right path. Have you talked to a professional about this? If you pay it can be very expensive, but they have programs that are free. You may have to check your area threw the internet. With all that has happened with other people the way they treated you I'm surprised your parents did not find out. Do not tell them until you are ready for their reaction. I express to any one that under no circumstances never ever engage in anal sex with any one with out a condom. There are what they call breeders out there that have aids and do not think it is fair for them to have it and go spreading it to any one they can. This goes for male and females. ALWAYS use condoms. They are not 100% safe but it is better than not using them at all. Any one that is addicted to any addictive drug is not in their right mind so do not blame your self for not using a condom. Maybe you could tell other young people about your experience and maybe they will learn from you and not make the same mistake. You will feel so much better about your self if you help others not to do the same as you did. I wish you all the luck and hope you find it in your heart to go on with life and help others who could easily fall into the same situation as you. Stay strong always.

Well...You WERE desperate...I mean shoving vibrating dildos up your *** is REAL desperate but going up to a man and asking him to do you? Why would you do that? Why not try to find a hooker or something? If you asked a man first then yes you are gay.Did you even think about hookers if you were so desperate to get erections?

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this question looks very similar to the rest of yours...that are the exact same thing...oooo...

pretty gay, brah