How can I tell if a man that I have been intimate is living on the downlow?

I am a straight woman who did something really STUPID. I had unprotected sex with a friend of mine. I have always been attracted to him, but he never initiated sex until recently. I am asking this because he all of a sudden has money but cannot explain a job. I called him one morning and a man was talking in the background. He only speaks to me on his cell for about one minute before hanging up. I am asking if he is DL because he was emphatic about not liking gays. He has not done anything in the past to make me think that he may be homophobic. I am just scared because I am the idiot who had unprotected sex. He did not have any condoms. I am thinking that a man would not need condoms if he is intimately involved without another man who he is supposed to be with in a monogamous relationship. Am I right? Please help. I am going to take an AIDS test today.

First of all, good for you for getting the AIDS test. You know you have made a mistake and have taken the step to make sure you are okay, healthwise.

I sense that you sense that he is doing something secretly that he has not done before. If he is prostituting himself (for money) or if he is just going DL to get some sexual release or because he is secretly bisexual -- and then he has unprotected sex with you, he is bad news. His sudden, anti-gay attitude could be a sign that he has crossed that line and is having sex with men -- and he is not sure of himself yet. He may have even had sex with you to prove to himself that he is straight.

Then again, he could be doing something illegal (like selling drugs), and that's where he is getting this sudden extra wealth from -- who knows?

Whatever the case, your sixth sense tells you something is not quite okay with this guy. He's not letting you in on his secret life even though he is now intimate with you. Pay attention to your sixth sense. Better to be wrong than sorry. Do not have sexual relations with him again, even if protected. Something is up with this guy. It may be sexual, it may be something else.

And never have unprotected sex again unless you are married or about to be married.

Good luck to you dear. And may your test come back negative.

P.S. Gay and bi men use condoms (mostly) with those they do not know. His non-use of these does not mean he is not straight. It just means he is ignorant or doesn't know how to use a condom most likely.

False. a man should still use a condom with another man.

Maybe he is a closeted bisexual, and is afraid of losing your friendship because of it. Or maybe he has mixed feelings about having sex with a friend. Once "just friends" have sex, they are not "just friends" anymore, and he probably doesn't know how to handle it. Get tested, confront him face to face about his sexuality, if he is a true friend, he will be honest with you about himself. Maybe he's full out gay, but wanted to be sure by having sex with a woman, kind of a sexuality test. Just like many heterosexuals wonder what being with a person of the same sex might be like, I'm sure many gays wonder what it would be like to be with a person of the opposite sex. I do have one question though, what the hell does "down low" mean ?

1 - you are wrong men still use condoms when having sex with each other

2 - aids is nto as common as you think and you most likely dont have it

3 - it is NOT your business what this friend is doing in his spare time

4 - next time dont open your legs so quickly

First, get some condoms. You're a woman, there's female condoms out there, buy some, don't leave protection in the man's hands.

Also don't expect him to wear a condom with others if he won't with you, be they male or female.

As for how to find out, like everything else in this world, you can find out by looking on his computer at his emails or his browser history.