Can anyone suggest any ideas for my girlfriend to help her family without sacrificing herself?

Here's a rundown:
-Girlfriend currently lives with her mother and ten year-old sister in one-bedroom apartment.
-Grandmother lives in apartment next door; mother pays rent on both apartments.
-Grandmother has chronic health issues, is currently in the hospital; lost the use of her legs, requires aid for the rest of her life, and is currently facing discharge from said hospital; also divorced, receives alimony from re-married ex-husband in New York State.
-Mother has glioblastoma multiforme, brain tumor. Currently past radiation, on chemotherapy, unable to drive or work; on disability; normally receives annual salary of 22k.
-Girlfriend has finished 1 year of college, age 24, unemployed
-Girlfriend鈥檚 responsibilities now include driving Mother to treatment, visiting Grandma in hospital for Mother, grocery shopping, cat maintenance, driving Sister to school and extracurricular activities.
-All live in New Jersey.

Any and all suggestions/ideas are most welcome! Thank you very much!

Wow! I am sorry your friend has so much trouble in her life right now! She and her family are really lucky to have your care and concern.

In the United States there is a network of organizations called Area Agencies on Aging. There is an Area Agency on Aging serving every community in the United States and U.S territories--they are one of the best kept secrets for older Americans and their families. These folks know how to listen and they really know about different services and organizations that might be able to help in your friend's situation. Area Agency staff members would certainly be able to offer helpful advice and information that may be of great benefit to your friend and her family at this difficult and challenging time.

You can call toll-free 1-800-677-1116 to find the contact information for the specific Area Agency on Aging where your girlfriend lives that can help her get the information she and her family need. After she gets the number and calls tthe Area Agency on Aging, she should ask to speak with the staff person who handles "Information or Assistance" or the "Help for Family Caregivers." She should tell this person about her situation. The Area Agency will know what her next steps might be and would know about available services and options. The staff there can help her and her family sort out questions related to Medicaid and Medicare and may be able to provide her some support as a family caregiver in this situation--possibly some in-home help or services may be available at a free or reduced cost basis. If your friend has a question that the Area Agency staff does not know the answers to, they will know who to connect with to get the answer to her question.

Area Agencies on Aging aren't selling any particular services, products or "insurance plans." The staff will listen and provide objective information in an easy-to-understand way. I am confident that the "real people" at the New Jersey Area Agency on Aging serving the county where your friend lives will be friendly, caring and have helpful information.

I really hope this helps. Best wishes and good luck to your friend, her mother and her grandmother. Thanks for caring!

I would contact the social services to see if theres any help for your gf and also get her some counseling. She's probably stressed out pretty bad

FAMILY COMES FIRST BUDDy!!!!

Yes it is sad that the whole load is on your gf but she also needs to be careful before she winds up in burnout city or in the hospital herself for maximum stress issues. She may want to contact their health insurance company to find out what types of medical assistance she can receive. There are home nurse visits and other errand type persons that will do some of the very things she is doing all on her own. Also, nursing home facilities are another source of resources. They have options as well that can assist her. I wish her the best and tell her to move forward with researching other means to help her. Help is available but a lot of times in circumstances like this, the help must be found rather than it seeking out those who really need it. Also, check with the government and the social services dept. Every angle she can tap is a good one which will lead her in the right directions. My best to all of you.......

There are professionals who can be hired to help out. Why not help pay for it? Your gf has no life and is too young to be spending her young life waiting on them. That's about all I can suggest.

I think that she should be talking to a local church about options, they might know of bus's that drive seniors and the disabled to doctor appointments, this will free her to start looking for employment. Her sister's school needs to know what is going on too she might find a mom locally that can drive sister to school and extracurricular activities. She should have her sister watch over the cat. Once you get the community involved there will be all kinds of help for her.. Last resort go to social services because once your in their system your in their clutches and they don't treat you decently at all.

Seeing that your gf have family problems; she at this point don't have any choice but take care of her family which is ashame at the same time. She can try to get help from an outside source but most of the responsiblities will be with her. Now, if you're serious about her then once in a while help her out by asking her if you could help in any way possible. She is so young to go through this and knowing that she will be mostly broken down after all of this done with and at that point; she will need someone beside her. Just remind her that you're there whenever she needs you or even when she thinks she doesn't need you. Just be there when she is in need of help or just a shoulder to cry on etc.... This will probably the hardest time in her life and trust me; she will need a good friend and someone she can trust. Just be there for her in any way you can.

She can move out and have a place of her own. But, still visit mother and grandmother and sister.

She can get a home nurse that will come in to help her out and also there are medical services that can come pick them up and take them to the doctor!

Talk to your gf and see what you can do to help her out sometimes someone that is just willing to listen without being judged is good. It sounds like while her family needs her she is putting everything in her life on hold for them, that can be good to and bad this is hard for anyone just try to keep trying to help her.

Besides what people have already mentioned, maybe her boyfriend could pitch in and help her out. It would relieve her of some things and show her how important she is to him.