REST OF THE WORLD VERSION:
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The
grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the
summer away.
Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. The shivering
grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
THE END
THE UK VERSION:
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks
he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.
A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press
conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed
to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the
grasshopper, are cold and starving. The BBC shows up to provide live
coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel
in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food. The British
press
inform people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such
wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others
have plenty.
The Labour Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper
Council of GB demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house. The BBC,
interrupting a cultural festival special from Notting Hill with
breaking news, broadcasts a multi cultural choir singing "We Shall
Overcome".
Ken Livingstone rants in an interview with Trevor McDonald that the
squirrel got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an
immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his "fair
share" and increases the charge for squirrels to enter inner London.
In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the
Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act,
retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The squirrel's taxes are
reassessed.
He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders
for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine for
contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work.
The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to
furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be
socially mobile. The squirrel's food is seized and re distributed
to the more needy members of society, in this case the grasshopper.
Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly
imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start
building a new home. The local authority takes over his old home and
utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had
hijacked a plane to get to Britain as they had to share their country of
origin with mice. On arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of
Britain's apparent love of dogs.
The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking
and attempt bombing but were immediately released because the
police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody. Initial
moves
to then return them to their own country were abandoned because it was
feared they would face death by the mice. The cats devise and start a
scam to obtain money from peoples credit cards.
A Panorama special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the
squirrel's food, though spring is still months away, while the council
house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to
maintain the house. He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate
government funding is blamed for the grasshopper's drug 'illness'. The
cats seek recompense in the British courts for their treatment since
arrival in UK.
The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a
Burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released
immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks. He is
placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him.
Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.
A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost 拢10,000,000 and
State the obvious, is set up. Additional money is put into funding a drug
rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers and legal aid for lawyers
representing asylum seekers is increased. The asylum seeking cats are
praised by the government for enriching Britain's multicultural
diversity and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to
befriend the cats.
The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the
Press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root
Causes of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic
experience of prison.
The cats are paid a million pounds each because their rights were
infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice in
the United Kingdom.
The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing,
the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on
their credit cards to cover losses, their taxes are increased to
pay for law and order and they are told that they will have to work beyond
65 because of a shortfall in government funds.
THE END I liked it...but if it's truly how you feel why bother living here, I'd be off somewhere I was happier! thanks for the short story! Report It
lol Good question, but too long.
You raise quite a few issues, but I doubt anyone will have the time or Patience to read them. Sorry. |
