How can i adjust this personal statement it sounds crap pleaseeeeeee help me =,(?

Nursing is such a diverse, challenging and worthwhile career that I really feel it is the right course for me. It is a vocation for people who are practical, conscientious, reliable and who find it easy quickly to establish good, trusting relationships with new people. I have these skills and a genuine desire to help people when they need it most. The role of the nurse is changing in the NHS, with more opportunities for nurses to take greater responsibility for patient care and to become specialists in areas such as intensive care, cancer treatment and other specialties. In studying for a degree in nursing I hope that I will be able to make the most of these opportunities as my career develops.
When i left school after six year and studied for two years to gain my HND i realised i very much enjoyed interacting with people and helping and listening to there needs. I also enjoyed and passed my first aid class where we acted out different situations, i learned how to bandage different areas on the body and what the best help would be to someone who was in an emergancy situation ,vulnerable and needed care. I got a lot of confidence in knowing that i could help someone and use my new found skills in a very positive way.
During my working career in many customer care related roles i have gained a lot of skills that i think would also be an asset to becoming a nurse. When working as a beauty therapist my duty was to to make the client feel as comfortable and calm as possible also that they were receiving the best treatment possible and were in trusting hands. During this time i worked well within a team, was able to adapt to many different situations that arose, I also worked well under pressure during different periods during the year.
I have chosen nursing as a career because i want to feel that I have helped someone to regain their health, independence and dignity whether it is after cancer treatment or a broken bone. I hope that my degree in nursing will be the beginning of a lifelong career that will really make a difference.

what can i adjust or add 2 make it sound better

It's not bad, it just sounds a bit "say what they want to hear" and get's a bit muddled in paces, but the overll content seems ok.

What to do is to to split the statement up into sub-headings like "Work Experience", "Personal Values", "Ambition", "Nursing Today" etc and then write what is relevant to each heading.

That makes it more readable and less of a "rant" than it is just now, although its good rant

:-)

You seem to be caring. But do not talk in terms of disability but rather in terms of ability. And praise good work. Report It

what is your question? (if these are your own words, it is fine, just do spellcheck before you print it, and proof read it outloud)

You should always spell out initials in formal writing, even if the reader will know what you are talking about. Like what is NHS?