Please some one help me? I'm lost and friend might die!?

My best friend i knew for six years has HIV, and he doesnt want us to help him. He calls me and tells me lies, he has a boyfriend who is late 40's and Ray is 21. i saw his boyfriend once he look like a drug dealer. two nights ago his BF called me and started crying on the phone saying that Ray left for a walk but never came back. The BF said that he and this dude name Joey are doing drugs with a bad needle.

I dont know who to belive, i dont know and dont trust Ray's so called BF and this other guy name Joey and Ray.

Ray called me up and said he was doing okay, but i knew it was a lie. i asked where he was so he can go back to his BF cause he was helping him (I guess). i ask Ray where he was and he didnt tell me where. he just lied the whole time to me.

I told him "if you are lieing and doing drugs Ray and you dont want our help at all whats the point being your friend, I'm sorry but I'm not talking to you anymore unless you fix your self up!"
was that right to do?

He never done this before, and i dont know why we hang with these people. I cant do any thing cause we live 3 hours or more apart. I cant drive yet and my parents dont want me to go see him cause i might get shot or raped or something. it might happen. even his sister who has two kids and lives on welfare cant help him, cause the welfare people are watching her and if Ray comes with drugs they'll take away her kids and home. what do we do? dont talk to him? i just dont want a phone call saying he is dead!

I think that you are doing the right thing. You are worrying more about him than he is doing for himself.
It's hard to watch a friend just kill himself slowly.
Does he have any family? If he does, I would talk to them and tell them what I have found out.
Pray that he would get a grip on his life, but it just seems that he may not be able to handle the fact that he has HIV at such a young age. He is handling this all wrong.

I really hope that everything will be okay.

Call the cops.

yes...he needs to admit he needs help.

dont get involed in such matters

My suggestion would be to turn to the only one that can help you! That would be GOD!

I think you need to stick by your friend. Talk to him and help get him into a counselor. He may be having a difficult time living his life thinking that he is just going to die from HIV anyways... Some people just throw away the rest of the life that they do have after they find out news like that. You need to help him realize that he does have a life left, and he can still be happy and lead a full life right now!!

I think you did the right thing, myself. He's abusing himself and doing this stuff to himself, then what can you really do? If he calls again, just say "I love you to much to watch you abuse yourself that way. I'm sorry. I can't be around you." Make your peace with it and go on with your life. I understand that it's hard but there's nothing more you can say about it.

At the time it might have felt like it,but friends never give up on friends.Your friend is at an all time low and needs you more than ever.He may seem like he doesnt want your help but inside he's crying for help from someone.What he really needs right now is a listening ear.Hear him out befor you go trying to be mr fix it.

first thing....what you did was a right thing....and secondly...she was incorrect on her part..of doing drugs with a same needle....
this is just getting worse....
now asa friend...just try and change her mind...or else...put her in to rehabilitation center....
as far as hiv is concerned...she may die due to one of many disease...but as fas as she is in the rehab....she will live longer....
and you will be able to see her for a little longer...thats all i can say

you have to let him go if he wont tell you where he is what are you to do. If will not change till he is ready

Some people lead very destructive lives. This is something THEY have to work on, and if they don't, it's their choice isn't it? So sad, but true. Your friend sounds very destructive, and that's hard for friends to watch. The downward spiral, the direction that drugs, alcohol, and unprotected sex, will take them. Continue to tell your friend that you don't approve of his choices, and perhaps when he has reached the bottom, he'll look for that "hand up", and you'll be there to lend it.

Well done.
Hopefully he will hear what you said.
But, when on drugs, he could just think, "well fxxxck you too" and break off the conection between the two of you.
Sounds like hes a messed up guy.
You said the right thing, as you know in your heart that you do not need someone like that in your life

good luck

this is a toughie, what you are doing is called tough love and sometimes you have to do it-maybe he is in deep denial about having hiv-just don't give up on him yet-he needs help NOW not yesterday not tommorrow-tell anyone his family another friend of Rays get together and convice him he needs help-good luck

This all sounds very serious so I would talk to someone close to you or your friend and seek further help there.

On one hand saying what you did may have helped your friend and been the right thing to do because it might spur him into action. On the other hand Ray may now feel depressed and turn to drugs even more, at the time when he needs someone he can rely on he feels that he has no friends or a good friend of his has turned his back on him. I'm afraid thats all the help I can give to you. I hope Ray gets better soon. Good Luck

He's an adult. You can't kidnap him and make him get help. He has to want help! All you can do is pray.

My heart goes out to you. I have a family member on crack and we have tried everything all we can do is watch her slowly kill herself. :(

Honey, bless your heart... You can't help someone who does not want or isn't ready to receive that help. You will kill yourself with worry and fear. Pray for him, that God protect him and also help him see his need. He needs to hit bottom, so that all he can do - is look up. I know it is hard, because you care - but worrying cannot add one inch to your height. Realize your limits as a mere human being, and leave it to God. There is no need to turn your back on Ray - but understand that you cannot allow him to run circles around you, either. You can care for, and even love someone - without enabling them. Indulging or enabling someone is not love at all. Love includes discipline when and how, its necessary. It is not mean - it is wisdom, and is for their sake, as well as yours. Take care, baby - and rest your soul. Life will age you on its own.

When you're dealing with HIV+ drug addicts it's hard because many of them don't want help since they spend most of their time and money getting high. There's nothing you can really do since he obviously doesnt want help. It's hard to accept that, but I think you need to step back and move on with your life don't try to help someone who can't help themselves.

you know sometime in life the people we love do crazy thing and no matter how much we try to help them we cant. All we can do is be there for them when it time. Alot of time when pressure in them they tend to run. thats the funny thing about life. alot of obsticals get thone are way. Its up to us to handle it. Its even better when someone is there to hold your hand.

good luck

You have no control over what your friend does or the way he lives his life. I think you are doing the right thing by handling this situation the way you are.
You have to step back but let him know you are there for him if he wants your help.Other than that I would keep out of it.
Right now you can pray that God will help him and guide him along the way.
It's very sad to see someone you care about self-destucting but you are powerless to do anything.I'm sure you will always be his friend even though you don't agree with the course he's chosen to take.
You have to carry on with your life and do what is best for you.
God Bless your friend and God Bless you.