What should parents do to help their childs avoid pregnancy or HIV infection ?

In Introduction to Human Sexuality, a very difficult course at the University of Washington in Seattle, my professor said that we need to begin telling our children about the facts of life as matter of course throughout their childhood.

In the beginning, they would be too young to even understand what you're saying, but for you as the parent, the practice is crucial. As language becomes viable to the tot, the use of pseudonyms for bodily parts and functions is allowable, but don't water it down too much.

A young child that knows the proper terminology for sexual anatomy, how those words relate to each other in practice, and the mores of not discussing the topic in public is by default going to be more responsible than the kids who have no clue about even what to call those "dirty" body parts.

But I must assume for the moment that your offspring is probably now at an age where sex has become an issue.

Something that's been bothering me lately is that in our 8th grade sex ed class, I don't remember them mentioning anything about age-related relations. I'm frightened now years after the fact that me as a 16-year-old may have been legally in the wrong to have had sex with my girlfriend one year younger than me.

Your kid needs to understand the importance of condoms...and not just ANY condoms. It took OMG too many years before an investigation into the quality of condoms was finally conducted in the US. People were even making jokes about the ones I thought best to use because they broke so much.

Quality condoms and a pair of scissors can also be used to make a dental dam for oral sex with a female, but don't use spermicidal condoms because of the chemicals. I want to mention I knew a guy that contracted the clap from receiving oral sex from a woman.

Avoid promiscuous people and intravenous drug users, and unfortunately, anyone from some regions of Africa. Also note that something like 1 in 5 people have herpes, and I'm assuming that's oral or otherwise. Victims of herpes can pass on their disease even when not showing symptoms. It's a worse kissing disease than mono.

A yearly (and new- and ex-boyfriend) pap smear is a good idea for females. There's even a new innoculation against cervical cancer caused by the sexually transmitted disease HPV, or genital warts, something up to 80% of sexually active people have contracted.

The news right now on tv is once again raising the subject of middle schools providing birth control to children as young as 11. Recent studies have shown that girls are able to become pregnant at younger and younger ages.

By a girl's time of menses or a boy's first nervous period of needing privacy, I think the best medicine is to speak frankly with the child (don't do it group style!) in as technical terms as you can muster.

Don't push too much abstenance with the exception of making sure they get it driven into their head that there is a huge difference between lust (which is basically the only thing a teenager can feel) and love (which takes many moons to grow if it ever does. Too many adults can't even differentiate between the two!

And please don't tell the children masturbation is morally wrong; the act of self-gratification is as normal as developing relationships with others. Making a mess of it is, though, according to that 2000 year old hippie dude. So don't spill your seed.

If you've actually read this far then I should include this tip: Applying pressure to the base of the penis behind the scrotum will prevent ejaculate from exiting the urethra in most cases. Not only can it be stimulting, but it prevents making a mess.

keep them informed about it. its better to talk to them about it then telling them to avoid boys/girls..

Keep them informed of what is going on in the world with those things.

Try to teach abstinence. It can be done in this day and age. They need to know it is an option. They don't have to have sex to keep a boy/girl friend anyone who pressures them doesn't respect them.

If it is not against your morals I would suggest if they are sexually active to take them to get some kind of birth control. I know it sounds like you are encouraging them to be sexually active. It really is just making sure your child has access to protection. Then you won't have to worry about being a grand-parent early. Also, tell them what does happen and to people who don't expect it. There are teen's getting pregnant earlier and earlier. There are eight graders becoming parents. The problem is the fact parents don't provide a objective ear to listen to the kids. You can't change the fact that your kid is having sex.

Talk to them about it when they start getting near puberty. I plan to be very open with my children and hopefully prevent STD's or unwanted pregnancies.

The parents should talk to their child openly about sex, and the child should feel close enough to the parents to confide in them or ask questions. Parents should also provide birth control and/or condoms, instead of sit back and pretend that the child will not become sexually active just because they told them not to.

Chassity belts or crate training are the only sure things! But you definatly need to have conversations with them about the consequences to sexual activity. Also stay involved with their life! Know their friends, and what they are doing. Don't be too strict or they will find a way to sneak out.

You can start with teaching your child self-respect and self-esteem - by treating them with respect and love at all times. I cannot stress how important this is in keeping your child pregnancy and STI free. Showing your child respect will teach them how to respect themselves and others. Loving your child and showing them physical affection will make it less likely they will look for these human needs outside the family home.

Teaching abstinence is a good idea, but you must back that up with role-play so the child knows how to decline unwanted sexual advances.

You must also back up abstinence teaching with knowledge of condoms. Condoms and abstinence are the ONLY ways of preventing hiv infection. Methods of birth control other than condoms offer NO protection against hiv and other sexually transmitted infections. You can demonstrate condom use by using cucumbers, carrots, bananas or even dildos as a substitute for the penis. If you think this is over the top, then you haven't accepted the fact that children and teens do have sex and do look at the real thing.

And remember, discussions of this nature should be a two-way street. Don't lecture and don't put the child down for anything they say in regards to sexuality. Keep the lines of communication open.

Edited to add - A poster below plays into one of the most dangerous myths out there when he says that you should "avoid" certain groups of people. It's not who you do, it's how you do it. Hiv and other STIs can and do affect anyone.

If you're a member of the human race and you have unprotected intercourse with someone who's sexual health status you don't know, you are at risk for hiv and other sexually transmitted infections. It's as stark and simple as that.

And remember, sex without a condom lasts a few minutes, but hiv is for life. (and some STIs can make you infertile if left untreated)

let them meet people that are dying of AIDS, maybe let them see a video of a woman giving birth with NO pain meds..explain to them in terms like: how big a babys head is to the size of the vagina and how it will have to come out of there