How do you deal with a spouse that's HIV+ and you're scared to have sex w/ him?

I've been married 6+yrs and have 3 children. Two years ago, he found out he was positive. I was angry, frustrated, scared and disappointed. I was ready to walk. Somehow, I've forgiven him and we've moved on. We're still together and I feel like an idiot. Why can't he understand my fears and not have to have sex with me? We've argued about this many times before. He said regardless of his condition, it doesn't take away his sexual desire. I cover up the fact during sex that I'm uncomfortable w/ him in spite of the fact that he uses a condom. I shudder going for check-ups now because I'm fearful of the day the doctor telling me something I won't be able to handle. I've prayed many times about this. What do you guys suggest?

I believe the two of you need to see a doctor together about this. With the advances in the medical world, I woman with HIV can have a healthy child after contracting the disease as long as she is being treated appropriately. Go to talk to a doctor now. After everything you two have been through, don't let sex end your marriage.

P.S. You are a very strong and amazing woman to stand by your man through his illness.

You have every right to say no. This is life and death. If he is HIV he has no right asking you to do anything. Have you been tested? Do you know how long he has actually had the condition?

Your a brave one, to sacrifice your life to satisfy his needs. You go girl.....jeez

don't have sex with him. If he can't handle it then he will leave and you can find someone that you can make love to and enjoy rather than waiting for a death sentence from your doctor and being subjected to psychological terror

Talk to a Doctor to see what they suggest. If the condom breaks, you can still contract HIV. Tough!

considering you've got children together he should understand your concerns. there are other ways to make love to someone without penetration and the risks involved. unless he is a selfish person and doesn't care about infecting the mother of his children.

talk to him about it and try to work it out

You are living with a loaded gun....Protect yourself as much as possible. Abstinance is the only safe way for you to live. Watch his body fluids and be careful. Don't let the gun kill you.

Me personally, couldn't have sex with him no matter how bad i wanted to. I don't think you should and risk your life you need to be there for your kids. Mommy and daddy can't both be sick that's not fair. What if you and your husband both pass away they would have lost both their parents. Let him know it's not fair to risk your life.

If it had been me, I would have divorced him a long time ago. And had him arrested for not telling that he had AIDS b/c that is illegal. Then I would also pray to the almighty God that I didn't have it.

i wouldnt have sex. especially for the childrens sake. i would invest in major rubbers and if he wont wear them then let him go now. make sure he doesnt kiss the kids either and be real careful.
you dont need it too. get checked asap

do u know how he got hiv positive in the first place, and it would scare me to death to about having sex, one slip of the condom and u have it, i dont know what to tell u, really i dont, all i can say is u are a very brave woman, my prayers are with u and hope the best for you, wish i had the answers u are looking for

consult w/ your dr the risks involved and what r the safe ways to still enjoy a sex life