When is the right time to tell partner about STD???

Hi I need help real bad. I've been dating this guy for 2 months and for the past few weeks we've been having sex a lot. The only problem is, I am HIV positive and he doesn't know yet. I always insist he wears a condom and he thinks it's just to prevent pregnancy. What is the best way to tell him that I have AIDS and how can I make it so he doesn't get mad? Thanks so much xxoooxox

ok margeret_t thank you so much for ur thoughtful reply!! I will try to keep it secret until we have kids but he's already asking about why I take so many pills haha. It's not as if AIDS can go from mother to baby so at least that's ok.

never ever ever tell him...at least not untill after ur married. Then he wont care and will still have lots of sex and babies with u.


u go girl, u dirty little player!


xoxoxoxoxoxo

Before you have sex...

I think the sooner you tell him the better . because the longer you wait the madder he will probably be. hopefully he will still be with you . good luck.

before you have sex
you could have already given it to him!

I'm afraid the best time would've been before you started having sex, but that's neither here nor there now. The best thing to do would be tell him asap, tell him that you care about him and that you are telling him because you want him to be aware and be safe.

B*tch u are crazy... U HAVE AIDS.....u should have stop F**king when u found out. U are being so selfish. do u not care about this guy? Just because u are dying ,u want to kill him too? I hope he slaps the sh*t out of u when u tell him. U have His life on the line and any one else u want to play Russian Rowlette with not just ur own. U CRAZY SELFISH B*TCH

YOU SHOULD OF TOLD HIM IF YOU DON'T USE A CONDOM WE ARE NOT HAVING SEX NO PROTECTION NO SEX

u should have told him before u had sex the first time. how ignorant. how did u feel when u were told u had it? decieved?congrats for spreading the virus! and actually sweet heart it is illegal to not tell him. hopefully when he finds out he doesn't get it or press charges. how could u do that to someone having experienced it urself? people like u make me hate humanity.

it is very unfair to your partner to have kept this info from him and possible exposed him to HIV. He should have been told way before you ever had sex. I think he will be mad no matter how you tell him and deservedly so.

Well, hon, the "right time" depends on you and your feelings for this guy. I'm proud of you for insisting on using condoms, BTW. Just some quick questions - are you seeing a doc right now? Are you on meds? How are your numbers? If you're not having any problems with the HIV (and, unless you're carrying a diagnosis of AIDS, then you can still call it HIV, OK?), then that's one problem under control.

To answer your question, there's no "Best Way" to tell him. Some things to consider, though - if he's "the one", he needs to know pretty soon, rather than find out you're positive if you get sick or have a problem with your meds. Let him know how much you love him and care for him. Let him know you don't want to be with anyone else. Then, after you tell him that you have HIV, be prepared for some anger - he probably will be angry, just 'cuz you didn't tell him up front. Be prepared to answer questions, maybe a lot of them, like ,"How did you get it?", "Who gave it to you?", and, that all-time fave, "Are there any other secrets you're keeping from me?" He may not ask any of these, he may not even get angry - if he's OK with it, BONUS!! But it's hard finding out that there's ANY problem with "the perfect girl (or guy)". But know that you're doing the right thing, no matter what happens! Lots of folks out here are pulling for you!! Good luck!

With all the sex your having it probably helps that you have aids. I mean how can a woman be sexually adventurous and keep house too? So I take it you have the STD (standard) aids...maid...pool boy....landscaper?

I see no reason to tell your man you have STDs.....it will destroy the illusion.

xoxoxoxox

The best time to have told him would have been before you had sex, but now the best time would be as soon as possible (and before you have sex again!). When you talk to him, expect some resentment and downright anger. You robbed him of the opportunity to make an informed choice about pursuing a sexual relationship with you. Be ready to answer questions about how HIV is transmitted, what it means for your lifestyle, what it means for him. It would be a good idea to have some brochures handy, that he can take with him to read and think about. Don't expect him to understand your point of view immediately.


As some of the responses to your question show, there is a lot of ignorance about HIV out there. Respect that fear.


It is highly unlikely that you have infected him with HIV because you used protection, but it is important that you continue using protection for vaginal, anal AND oral sex. If you use lots of lubricant (water-based!), the condoms will be less likely to break as well.

I know many serodiscordant couples (where one partner is positive and the other is negative), who have been together and kept each other safe for years (even decades). Being HIV positive does NOT mean you won't have amazing, beautiful relationships. The most important thing is that you be honest with him, and you allow him to be honest with you about his feelings, fears, struggles. If he's the great guy you think he is, he'll get over your disease status.

Good luck to you!