Do you think by not telling people about her disease i am conspiring with her to deceive?

Its hard for me to talk to her about her issue because she is very defensive. On top of being HIV positive, she also has Herpes, i have suggested plenty of time that she go onto HIV dating websites if she feels the need to remain sexually active. Her situation is affecting my life because i dont feel like im being a good friend to her. I know of some of the guys she has slept with and when i see them i feel sorry for them. I dont like to be someones mother but this issue is not just about me, its about all of us. She is the type of person who needs alot of attention and i think she fears being alone. I am not upset with her because she has the disease, i am upset because of what shes decided to do with the disease. I feel as though our friendship is at risk, i can no longer say nothing, but if i say something our friendship will definetly be over. Please Help!!

She might be mad for a while - but it seems like she needs a wake up call.
Seriously, if she gives someone HIV - she can legally be charged with attempted murder, and if someone dies because of it - she can spend the rest of her life in jail. She needs to be responsible for her actions - she's openly disregarding the safety of other people, and that's not her decision to make. It's very irresponsible, not to mention WRONG. I would definitely tell the people she's been with. They have a right to know - so they can be tested and begin treatment if needed.

It's none of your business. These are adults who know the risks of having sex.
Don't give her suggestions about HIV dating (cripes) and you cannot say anything about her sexual relationships. Nothing. Mind your own business.

What she's doing is irresponsible and potentially life threatening. Ive seen cases where someone doesn't tell their partner about these diseases and they were charged with assault with a deadly weapon. Was settled, but it is REALLY STUPID if she doesn't tell. You are no friend if you let this continue. If she dissolves your friendship because you speak out then she really wasn't a friend.

You must tell someone.These people could be dieing because they didn't know. Put the friendship aside and follow your heart.

This is a tough one, but you need to let others know. What your friend is doing is threatening the lives of others. This is a decision you need to make, but what is worse: losing a friend or knowing that every person she sleeps with has the risk of developing AIDS?


I wish I could tell you that your friend would understand where you're coming from, but it doesn't sound like she will. I would suggest trying your best to talk to her (which it sounds like you have done) and then perhaps calling a public health clinic (planned parenthood or the city health clinic) and ask them what they could do to help your friend.

It sounds like your friend is defensive because she is scared that she will be isolated or others will find out and treat her differently. You may want to start the next conversation with "I know this is scary for you, but I know people who can help to keep your diseases under control" or "No matter what, I am here for you and support you, but we need to talk about what you are doing"

Best wishes, I hope that this works out :)