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Cheating with confirmed HIV positive mistress?

My husband cheated and I forgave him. The mistress mailed her confirmed HIV test results to my house and claimed he knew all along and was scared to tell me. I kicked him out and made him test b4 letting him back in. After a negative test I forgave him and decided to work on our marriage.I suspect he is cheating again. am I a fool for staying ?


As the old saying goes, "the definition of crazy is repeating the same process, and expecting different results."

I commend you for wanting to work it out, but he is putting your life in danger by doing what he is doing. Not only is he disrespecting you by having these affairs but by sleeping around with people who knows what diseases he could possibly get and then in turn give them to you. Sure the test was negative this time but his infidelity could have cost you your life. If he truly loves you then he would have talked out whatever problems you both were having instead of following up with his wandering eye. I would move on you deserve someone who loves you, respects you and honors the covet of what marriage means. Good luck to you and Merry Christmas.

This is one of those things that you have to determine for yourself. Personally I would be ghost, but I can say that because I'm not in that situation. I have a really close friend whose husband cheated and got the other woman pregnant. I encouraged her to leave then and she chose to stay. He gave he herpes about 1 year later. She's still with him.

HIV is a death wish and you need to determine the value of your own life. Frankly I wouldn't believe his negative test, I know a person who was HIV positive and she got a negative test from a friend to show a guy that she was dating (these test had only numbers as identification). She died about 3 years later from full blown AIDS at the age of 23.

I've gone through all of this also. It is so hard. Being on the outside and just hearing about it, it is very easy to say your an idiot. But being on the inside of the relationship you want to stay. Having the HIV though, that makes it harder. Just because his test is negative now, doesn't mean he doesn't have it. I would really say you guys should separate for a little while. There is not rush in getting a divorce, you never know how you will feel in a year from now. Just separate for a couple months and see how things go. I definitely dont think you guys should be living together. He needs some space away to see really what he has done and what he misses out on. You'll be able to tell if he is cheating while he is moved out. Stand up to him and take accept all of his lies. Be strong.

I don't think you are a fool, but I do think that you need to get rid of him. He has already put your life in danger once and obviously did not care or else he would have told you about it when he found out no matter how "scare" he was. There is a saying my mom said to may dad when she found out he was cheating hurt me once shame on you hurt me twice shame on me. You really need to get out of the relationship you are it is not healthy in anyway especially since you have already had a close call. I know it is easier said thean done but you deserve better.

Why not just put a gun to your head and pull the trigger? Would you be a fool to do that?

Then YES you are a fool for staying!

Just for your information, he needs to be tested several times over the period of at least one year to confirm the negative diagnosis. And you should be being tested too if you have had sex with him. You see, the incubation period for HIV varies among people and he or you may not yet react as positive!

Are you insane, stupid or just don't care about yourself? Why on Gods green earth would you even allow this man back in knowing this? You must have some low self esteem or something because a possible death sentence by having sexual relations with him is what you could get. Do you feel that you can't do better or something? Kick his booty to the curb & do NOT have any sexual relations with anyone until you have had a negative test for as long as your medical provider suggests. Also, consult an attorney. You may have a lawsuit against this woman and your hubby for knowingly subjecting you to a possible death sentence.

Good luck to you,
Mary in Camden, MI

I knew someone who forgave her boyfriend for cheating and received the positive HIV test from that person. Do you know where she is today? She died. By the time he "confessed" he was infected which he gave to her and she didn't last long. It was down right sad. He is still living. And all she did was truly love him.

You have to make the decision he cheated before, you forgave him, and now he's doing it again. I suggest you leave get tested to make sure. And don't look back. Good luck.

i think i answered your last question. And no i don't think you are a fool for staying. I mean yes he did cheat. and with someone HIV+ doesn't help the situation. but its nobodies place to tell you why or when you should leave your husband. Kudos for trying to make your marriage work. if you think he is cheating again then i would ask him. Maybe get a little marriage counseling. there's got to be something wrong somewhere in your marriage for him to cheat as much as he is. Good luck.

Damn I hate to say this but yes. Why would he have sex with a woman who has HIV and then still have sex with you knowing he has it. I dont believe in divorce but this is extreme. He couldve given it to you and he knew that but didn't care. He's basically telling you he doesn't care if you live or die because havin HIV can be deadly. I don't believe once a cheater always a cheater but I do believe once a fool always a fool. The sad part is 95% of women (including me) are fools for love. Do what your heart tells you. Good Luck and GOD Bless. p.s. count your blessings he didnt give it to you.

How many times do you need to post this question. How about reading my response in the other post.

Tough love:

Get a backbone and grow a pair of chesticles! Woman-up and start loving yourself for once. Do you hate living that much?

You obviously have a death wish and he may have already given it to you. And if that's the case I'd still ditch him...because there ain't no way in high hell I'd stay with a person who in essence had murdered me.

It can take a while to get a true positive back on an HIV can get false negatives sadly.

Geezz...sounds like you hate yourself.

I would never deal with suspects. That girl was sending you a fake HIV result just to make you more nervous. But you were right when you sent your husband for testing. If you are not sure about you husband then the best is that if you send him to HIV test monthly. After a while he well leave or you or the lover.

Honey this is your life, as in life or death. If your life is important to you then you'd leave him.

1. Cheating is a symptom that something bigger is wrong with the relationship
2. Can you honestly forgive him and move past all of this- I could forgive him but from a distance.
3. This is a lesson, do you want to have a testimony or do you want to be a cautionary tale?

I once knew a woman who said she faked a test and sent it to her married lover's wife. Very cruel! This might have happened in your case. But if he is cheating again, it is time to get out before he does give you something. Plus you deserve better than that.

short answer, yes. Your husband just tried to kill you and himself. If his girlfriend has sleep with 5 men and each of those men slept with 5 women and those 5 women slept with 5 men then you are having sex with a small southern town every time you sleep with your husband. but, that is up to you.

I answered this question already with the respond below. Aint $ hit change!!

Hell!! You might as well stay with him now. You probably got it to. Dont go spreading that $ hit around just cause you was stupid enough to take him back AFTER you found out the first time. Yall chalk that $ hit up to being "Soul mates" and keep that mess to yall selves!!!

Wow. That's some scary stuff! You know it can take over a year and a half to show up right? He should be tested once every 4-6 months for at least two years before I touched him again! If I even wanted to, which I highly doubt.

Her shagged a bird with HIV behind your back, whilst still being with you?

I would have killed him.

In come countries, having sex when you know you MAY have HIV or you DO have HIV is an offence!

You should not have forgiven him the first time. Once a cheater always a cheater in my book. The choice is yours, he already put YOUR life at risk once. What makes you think he won't do it again.

Yes. You are a fool for staying. No man is worth the crap this one is putting you through. You can do better.


Did it once, will do it again...............and again............and again.

Dump the b#$%&*d.

I am a 67 year old man.

In my opinion yes, but opinion shouldn't matter to you.

Once a cheat always a cheat, and with HIV. Come on woman wake up smell the coffee.

what do expect in response...amybe you should deal w/ this prolem w/out the aid of the y/a community

Yes, and you know he could test positive for HIV later on. Kick his a$$ out on the streets.

This guy does not care about himself or anything else. leave him for someone worthy of you.


divorce him he does not deserve you

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