Moral dilema concerning someone with AIDS?

A family member of mine has been involved with someone that I love long suspected of having HIV and later, AIDS. Because of my suspicions, I have taken precautions when interacting with this person. I have felt safe from the threat of transmission because of my own efforts. However, recently, my family member and this person have moved into my parents' home. This has radically changed my opinion. When I was home for a visit, I looked at the medication bottle in my parent's refrigerator and confirmed my suspicions. I've made my mother aware of the situation so I feel freed from my responsibility there - she can make informed decisions about her safety. However, I do not believe that my father knows and because of what I believe his reaction will be (anger, throwing them out), I do not believe that anyone back home will tell him. I believe he has a right to know so that he too can make informed decisions. Do I tell him? Do I make them tell him? What would you do?

Just noticed a typo in the first sentence. It should have been "A family member of mine has been involved with someone that i have long..." -- not someone I love.

I believe you tell him. You sound like a respectable young adult and your father has the right to know. It would be one thing if this was a non-fatal thing, but this is HIV/AIDS and everyone has that right to make their own informed decisions.

Understand that others may be angry at you, but I think in the end the best thing is too tell him

I don't believe AIDS is contagious. There is no article that proves AIDS is caused by HIV. Checkout www.duesberg.com for more info. So no, I would just stay out of it and leave them alone.

If you think honestly that not sharing information with your Dad might threathen his health, you should tell him.

Since you have already discussed the issue with your mother, ask her and maybe she can assist you in approaching your father.

ask the person if they have it then tell them for safty reasons either they tell your dad or you will

That is strictly your Mom's call. She knows and is aware and knows your father better than anyone. She should be the one that decides.
Personally I would want to know.
Being sick should not be cause to throw someone out.

I wonder what you think your dad is doing with this person with HIV that would put him at risk?

Are they having unprotected sex?

Sharing needles?

What in heavens name is the risk factor?

well first you should talk to the guy about the situation and then let him tell your dad if you care about the guy just talk to him and then tell your dad. that is what i would do.

Well that is a really strange thing. You need to talk to them about that. They should all discuss it as a group together (all parites involved). It is his house. He has a right to know. I would tell your mother they need to go to him on their own and give her a specific time frame. Not wanting to wait to long. Your father will feel betrayed by everyone and that is the worse kind of hurt.

I think it might be best if the people with the condition tell your Dad. I would encourage them to do so...Then everyone is safe..HIV is a Virus that causes AIDS. Please read info at the the AMA web sight to be as informed as you can. You should know and understand the risks and precautions. I am sure they have some great guide lines for living with this condition. Encourage your dad and family members to do the same. The more you know the more you can live safely with those who have acquired HIV and in turn AIDS. You can live with people who have it and remain healthy and free from the virus. But it will mean taking precautions. Good luck and I hope it all turns out OK.

Unless your dad is going to be having intimate contact with the infected person, he is not at risk. I think this is a tough question. I guess, if he finds out later, he might be upset that he was kept in the dark. Is there any way he would be receptive to education about the AIDS virus and the ways it is transmitted? Maybe you and your mom could educate him, if he is not already. This is a great list for someone to look through:

There is no evidence that HIV can be spread through the following: kissing; SHARING FOOD UTENSILS, towels or bedding; swimming in pools; using toilet seats; using telephones; or having mosquito or other insect bites.
http://www.intelihealth.com/ih/ihtih/wsi...

AND:

You cannot contract AIDS from: beds
breathing
chewing pencils
clothing
combs or hairbrushes
coughing or sneezing
drinking fountains
door knobs
gum
hot tubs
hugging
kissing
nail files
shaking hands
***sharing food or drinks***
silverware
sitting in the same classroom
swimming pools
tears
telephones
toilet seats
touching
towels
http://www.caps.ucsf.edu/capsweb/curricu...

I am not sure I understand what you mean by the statement that you have taken precautions.

Risk to family and friends
Aug 31, 2005

I was told that 2 family members are HIV+, and they have requested confidentiality. The 2 family members are afraid that family and freinds will treat them differently and that those with young children will possibly avoid them altogether. Are we putting others at any risk by not disclosing this secret? I am so worried about the risk to others and I feel torn between protecting them and keeping this confidence. Any advice that you could give me will be most appreciated.

Response from Dr. Horwath

You need to respect your family's request for confidentiality. There is no risk to anyone who has casual contact with an HIV+ person. That includes sharing bathrooms, sharing food, kissing, hugging and other usual activities within a family or household. The only significant risk comes from unprotected sex or direct exposure to blood on unprotected and damaged skin (with cuts or abrasions). http://www.thebody.com/Forums/AIDS/Menta...

Although HIV has been transmitted between family members in a household setting, this type of transmission is very rare. These transmissions are believed to have resulted from contact between skin or mucous membranes and infected blood or body fluids. http://www.thebody.com/cdc/factv.html

Confront the person with HIV/AIDS, then tell them that your father has a right to know as they are living in his home. I know overall risk of infection is small but what if infected person has an accident and bleeds heavily? your father has a right to know that he needs to be extra cautious. If he still doesn't tell your father then maybe you should.

Aids is only contagious if you come in contact with their blood, salive, or any other excrements. even then you would have to have a cut or open wound to actually be infected, so don't shy away.