Feeling invisible, unappreciated, depressed etc?

Usually I'm the one helping others but I thought it was time to seek your help.

To give you a background on me - I'm nearly 29, I've been through a lot in my lifetime including; father leaving mother when I was 2 y.o, molestation by half brother when I was a child, teased throughout school, sexual assault in 2003 where I later became HIV+, 2 x car accidents where I injured my back and I later had a back op and now I'm not working. I've been having panic attacks/anxiety/depression since the time of my sexual assault in 2003.

Now today, my husband works 15 hour days and he's never home, I look after our daughter and I am constantly feeling unappreciated and invisible. I don't have any friends I see, my mum lives in another state and I just have my husband and daughter here.

Today my daughter, 3 years old, told me that she wants to live with her favourite auntie. I feel absolutely unwanted and it makes me wonder if I died, would anyone know I wasn't around?

:o(

Every single day my daughter says that she wants to "see Lisa". She never wants to spend time with me and it kills me inside. :o(

Why aren't I good enough for her?

I feel that if I did die, my husband would go and live with his family and they would be her mother. My husband is always telling me that his sister (Lisa) and his mum are 2nd mothers to Ashley and that makes me feel inadequate.

His family are completely obsessed with my daughter.

I find it really hard to meet people - even from a young age, people never seem to like me and I don't think that's insecurity talking.

After going though all those hard time, you are still strong. And you don't see that often. I really admire your courage and honesty.
Your husband is just busy working and that is OK.
And sometimes, our children want to see other people that do care for them as well; doesn't mean they don't like you.
Just continue helping others and you will be remember by the thing you did and though your daughter.
You are one strong woman.

You should find a cause to fight for, something that motivates you.

Funny you should say that, because I ask myself the same question at times. But mine goes more like I could be dead for 6 months and people wouldn't even know it.

I know what it's like to feel unappreciated, depressed...like no one could are less if you were there or not, but you do have one thing going for you and that's your daughter.
Try re-evaluating your priorities, that would make your daughter number one.

If you feel like you have nothing, look again...your daughter needs you and loves you and you have to do whatever it takes to make sure you are there for her.

In the long run, it will be your reason for living.

wow. i really admire you. it is people like you that prove to people that have been through trauma that life is still worth living, and with hard work you can get through your troubled times and still have a great life. you are a great role model, and shouldn't feel unappreciated.

i am sure your husband loves you, he is just busy and it's not his fault. try doing a hobby if you have any spare time. you are sure to make new friends this way. by being friendly and approachable you are bound to make new friends. as for your daughter, that is just silly things three year olds say. i am sure she really appreciates you, and if you sent her to her auntie's place, she would be wanting to live with you again in no time. she really does love you.

keep on persisting, you have got so far already. people appreciate you alot, even if you don't realise it.

You have had a rough past from what I can see, however I also see that you have done your best to move on from these past expierences. You now seem like a strong woman who does her best to help others, and I am more than happy to give someone some advice. I know it might be hard being along while your husband is working, and how much is would hurt to hear your daughter say something like that. However, you need to realize you daughter is only three... kids do say the darndest things... I bet you got angry with her, or took away a toy of her's (etc.) before she said that. I honestly think it would be good for you to take a stroll around the park with your daughter while your husband is at work. Just walk around the block... let the sunlight hit you, and enjoy the beauty of life... Trust me... without you in his life, how would your husband take care of a 3 year old and work a 15 hour shift? Your daughter needs you there for her... only you know the best way to raise your young one... Do not think about death... life is too short for that... just try what I said... take a stroll around the park or neighborhood, and meet some friends to talk to about things you like... it might help. Good luck to you. =)

oh Sweetheart only you can help yourself.
You know all the answers u give them out to others right.
So why don't u take your own advice?
You need to find out what it is YOU want out of life. Believe me we all go through some major crap..I was molested at 5 by my grandpa, raped at 21, 2nd rape attempt by 3 Mexicans when I was 22. Plus 14 surgeries starting at 11 yrs old and 42 yrs of pain. I am allergic to all pain meds cause they are made with opiates and I am allergic to them. Plus I am allergic to wheat and that really sucks. 89% of all we eat is made from modified food starch or wheat or gluten.
If I would have ended my life when I tried I would have missed out on my son. The light of my life and I was a single Mom. It was rough but so worth it. Oh God I love that kid (23yrs old now). I would have missed out on the bestthing in my life if I would have given up yrs and yrs ago. I met a man when my son was 16 and we have been together 7 yrs. I am blessed.
Life is rough for me to kid, but I don't want to be any where else than on this eartyh as long as the Good Lord lets me.

Start first off with your daughter. Go to parks,museums..get out of the house. Ride her in a baby seat on the back of a bike...see the world for its beauty. Your daughter needs you and maybe if YOU change your attitude maybe your husband will come home sooner..

You need to b proud of YOU and who u are after what has happened to you. Yes its bad very bad..but you need to move on especially for your daughter and your marriage. Please stop dwelling in the past and look to the future with hope pf a better tomorrow. No one is going to help u ..but you....and you know that..