I want to live?

I spent my teens making myself miserable by mutilating my body acting reckless with drugs and sex and now that im 22 im having the best time of my life, im completely independent and have amazing friends and now i want to live but i acted very irresponsibly and im paranoid about having HIV or drying of heart disease because i am a very heavy smoker...

I'm glad you want to live! It gives me hope.

Here's a good action plan:

1. Get tested for HIV.
2. Immediately start screening future partners.
3. Stop smoking, because it'll only get harder.
4. Use protection when you have sex.
5. Breathe. You've made it this far.

Good luck!

Ok first things first, as great as it is that you've changed and obviously matured and were able to get your life on track you cant pretend that your past hasnt happened, so firstly go get checked up for any STD's or other physical damage that you might be worried about. I know its scary but its scarier not knowing what you may have.

If you wanted to look at quitting smoking, it can do wonders for your health, and although its hard to reverse damage to your lungs atleast of you quit you can prevent it from being worse.

Heart disease can be caused by many factors so as long as you try quitting smoking, cut down on alcohol, and eat healthy and try to incorporate exercise into your life then you'll probably be at no more risk of heart disease then the rest of us.

Just remember you cant change your past but you can learn from it and change your future.

Hope this helps, All the best!

You can quit smoking and at your age, regain your lung capacity and health. As to HIV, if you really want to you can get tested, and probably inexpensively at your County's health service. Good luck and hang in there!

and you are asking us something you already know cause..........

just fight the smoke , just one thing and it'll be perfect

Work on quiting. Get professional help if needed. Your health is important.

Lets stone eachother with pebbles...

Go get tested for STDs and quit smoking?

This isn't a hard question :-p

no offense to other religions. but if i were you. surrender all you are to Christ.

Well first of all calm down.. get an aids test done as soon as possible... you probably haven't got HIV.. and you can reduce the risk of dying of heat disease or lung disease by quitting smoking.. think of what COPD can do to a long term smoker

Chronic obstructive Pulmonary Disease.. you can find the willpower to stop smoking you are young enough.. if you stop .. then after some years of not smoking your lungs and heart will be back the way as if you had never smoked and the sooner you start the better.. you have an aim.. a goal.. you finally found something you want to live for and you find life has something to offer you .. so be streadfast in your approach to saying ''no to cigarettes' and if you need help... get help ask your doctor what you can do to stop... what is the best way.. nicotine patches don't always work.. maybe there is something better.. smoking is an addiction and it takes strenght of will and discipline to overcome that craving and not to give in to it.. but write down on a piece of paper all the good points of not smoking and all the possible foreseeable negative things that can result from smoking.. including the high price for a packet of cigarettes which is approx $ 9 just to buy yourself a packet full of bad health.. and thing if you smoke one packet every day and spend $ 9 every day how much you can save in a month.. and in a year you will be able to save enough to go on a small vacation just for not smoking and for not having to fear heart disease or lung problems at an early age.. and for the fear of HIV get a test done.. there is nothing to be ashamed about.. a lot of people go.. just as a precaution.... and in the future practise safe sex.. I am sure you haven't got HIV but see this as a reminder.. to be responsible.. if you have a multitude or more sexual partners or did have in the past.. that could happen and you could pass it on from one to another and ruin another life along the way.. .for that reason alone it is always responsible to use condoms... until you settle down with one partner and you both know you are committed to each other and that neither one of you has HIV.... I am sure you will be ok.. but you have the future in your hands.. you need to give up this heavy smoking because emphysema is no fun or heart or lung disease.. you are only 22 so I don't believe the nicotine has done enough damage yet even if you started smoking 10 years ago.. but you really need to want to stop and do it... with help and encouragement from your new friends and by asking the doctor for the best way to overcome the cravings for nicotine....and by making a lists of the benefits of not smoking and the hazards of doing so....xxx