If tomorrow never comes....?

I found out that my friend who has been HIV+ for 22 years (he is only 38 and was molested by a family member who was HIV+ at a young age) is going to start his last round of drugs that he can take at the end of this month. He told me that if the new drugs made him feel bad, that he would discontinue their use. He would rather have 6 months left and feel ok than to live a lifetime of misery. I'm not sure how I feel about this. What would you rather do? And if you knew you were going to die in 6 months what legacy would you leave?

I plan to be there for him and his parents are supportive of any decision he makes, so that's good. It seems as tho, the folks that the world would be better off without never go away. He is such a wonderful guy and is in fairly good health at the moment.

This decision is one your friend must make on their own. Your friend has made a valiant effort several times to win this battle. He is ready to choose quality of life over quantity. I don't believe anyone could fault him for that decision.

As his friend it will be difficult for you to accept his decision. But from the tone of your question I believe you have it within yourself to be there to support him regardless.

I would do what you're friend would do. It's better to die happy. I would right as many of the wrongs that I've committed that I could and I'd probably do some public speaking promoting either abstinence before marriage or the use of condoms to high schoolers.

NOTE: I'm not trying to be insensitive to you or him with the public speaking part. I am so sorry that he has HIV. A good friend of mine died from HIV 3 years ago.

My friend and I always say if one of us gets a terminal diagnosis we'll take off on a round-the-world trip and spend all our money. But in my serious moments, I think I'd rather have some of it to leave for finding a cure for AIDS or some such.

i hate to even think about it - but i would take the love of my life on a trip around the world and spend the rest of my moments with my family and friends...

how horrible.....good luck and stay strong. your friend will be in my prayers.

its his decision and he really needs your support- even if you don't like the decision yourself.

i would go bungie jumping

i hate taking medicine. i always just face the pain head on.

My mom essentially did this with her cancer. She had tried two kinds of chemo and radiation....pretty much nothing affected the tumors. So...she decided to stop. They gave her meds for pain and nausea and signed her up with a hospice home care nurse. She stayed at home for several months; the last week we put her in a hospice care facility because it had gotten too difficult to care for her at home.

I feel that she went out with dignity and really enjoyed a lot of her last few months on earth. I would likely make a similar choice if I ever had to. If I knew I was going to die in 6 months I would spend as much time as possible with my family and my friends. My legacy would be my beautiful twin boys; my love for them and for my partner; my laughter and my love for my family and friends.

I certainly wouldn't want to continue life if I couldn't do what I want, enjoy myself and so on. As I get older I'm less demanding about what makes life worth living.

I think you should support your friend in his decision and help him to do what he wants.

And I could, quite easily die in 6 months (because I'm 73). But I don't have a legacy for the world, only for my children and their children. And some of it is money, of course, but mostly it is the books and memories I will leave them.

I'm quite sure I agree with your friend that a lifetime of misery is to be avoided.

Love,
Anthony

You actually made me cry with this notion. I've been close to death a few times in my life. I was in a coma at the age of 12 due to a lung collapse and a critical congenital respiratory ailment. Miraculously I came out of it and I'm still battling health issues. However, my will to live is greater that anything else I possess. I do agree with your friend, I live each day as if it were my last day on earth. It has helped me live my life to the fullest and passionately. My legacy? I'm just a person I think I've touch the lives of many other people by being the best me I can be, I have loved, cried and allowed myself to go on through live finding the best side of things even in the darkest moments. I know I have made a difference and continue to do just that!

I faced a similar situation when my step-father was diagnosed with cancer. He took the treatments and then found out a few weeks after they concluded and a clean bill of health was issued- that it was in fact wrong- the cancer had spread and when they went to do the biopsi it got even worse.

The second time (actually 3rd) he decided to live his life free from the ill feelings of treatment and started preparing us all. It was painful to know that he would die but it was comforting to know when he did he would be free from the pain and suffering- we got to have a great summer and he passed just before Halloween- His legacy lived on through my brother and I- we arenow both step-parents, we both developed a relationship with G-d, and the positive influence through his short time in our lives made us better to have known him and to have known his love.

Facing death is hard, accepting it is even harder. Rejoice with your friend and enjoy your times together. When my neighbor and biological father passed we were able to celebrate their lives.

I hope that your friend does well and I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers- but as you said if tomorrow never comes-



'Cause I've lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much *they* mean to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there's no second chance to tell *them* how I feel

So tell that someone that you love
Just what you're thinking of
If tomorrow never comes

(a few slight changes)

Don't live with that regret and make the most of the time you have together. We never know tomorrow might very well be too late.

I can't say I know how you feel, because we all feel different- I can relate and I wish you well and hope that regardless you can share with your friend so that his legacy lives on through you and everyone around him.